649 - BREAD

"Phew", said Albert to himself, "that was a close shave". The car hadn't seen him on his cycle. Albert was unharmed, though his cycle was very much out of shape. "I'll just have to brave this weather on foot." His plans to cycle 10 miles being scuppered made Albert decide instead to go fishing in the local river. He caught a small bream, but the next fish he hooked was much bigger and Albert was having difficulty landing it. There was a cracking sound and Albert looked in dismay to see a break in his fishing rod. 'Things aren't going my way today ", thought Albert, as he set off home to eat the small fish with a couple of slices of bread for his lunch.

648 - BESET

It was ThE date for the crucial tin-mine shareholders' meeting. Sir Bradley mounted his steed ready to ride the five miles to the meeting room. He stroked the finely toned muscles of his horse and set off on the steep climb to the hilly location, feeling hopeful. The meeting commenced. It was supposed to be a quick straightforward one, but more than one of the shareholders raised concern after concern so that the meeting dragged on, beset with multiple issues. So his hopes of getting back home that day were dashed and he had to lodge in the inn. He spent the evening wondering how it could ever be possible to pass on messages quickly to his family and servants to let them know of things like this delay. "Would it ever be possible to tap away on a lightweight little book and they would immediately know that your plans had changed", thought Sir Bradley.

647 - HURRY

The Rain was bUcketing down. Angela was starving and needed to get some food. She put on her furry coat and tried her best to keep dry under the umbrella. She went to the local take-out for a curry. Because of the rain she was not in a hurry to leave the outlet but instead eat the curry there. She was not the only one doing that and soon there was a jovial atmosphere as strangers shared a meal together.

646 - GUANO

There was a TOUch on Sam's shoulder. "It's time to make some more gunpowder if we're going to keep up with the miners." They had the sulphur and carbon but they needed an oxidant. Sam and his team checked the saltpetre stocks but they were almost out. "We'll have to make a trek to the caves to replenish that", he said to the team. "Pack some food for the journey and let's get going. I've got a whole gouda here we can share for starters". After a lengthy trek they got to the caves and went hunting for piles of guano. Eventually they got back and were ready to convert the guano into saltpetre and hence make a batch of gunpowder.

645 - UNTIE

Flambeau was yeT again in a tricky situation. HE had been trapped by a rIval gang of thieves having narrowly escaped their bUllets. Now he found himself tied up to some substantial railings with a thief on guard day and night. But Flambeau was, well, Flambeau and by talk, feigning sleep and dexterity he was able to untie the knots of the ropes that were holding him fast and creep away to safety, boarding the next train to Inverness.

644 - VOTER

The post came bringing the biannual waTER bill which used an estimated reading. Chris felt he ought to go out and read the water meter to make sure the bill was accurate. As his eyes became accustomed to the failing light, to his utter astonishment, he saw an otter looking at him. He briefly thought about trying to inter the animal, but realised that would never work. Instead he made a noise to scare the creature away. Chris went back inside and told his wife - she was most upset seeing as she was a doter of all things otter. "Why on earth didn't you tell me about the otter earlier", she remonstrated. "I'm sorry love, I just wasn't thinking. I'm so worried about being a voter tomorrow as I can't decide who to support."

643 - GROUT

TheRe is tension in the family. Egbert is a pious observer of his religion, which has demanding rituals, whilst Geraldine is more practical and down-to-earth. So it's Geraldine who has to go fishing for trout for their dinner. But she draws the line at decorating. After weeks of badgering, Geraldine finally persuades Egbert to get back to finish off the bathroom and put grout between the tiles - a job that he's been putting off for 6 months now. At last Geraldine can look forward to having a shower!

642 - STAID

It was AT that season of her life that Elspeth headed to the nursery. It was the time of year to be making many an apple tree graft. Being satisfied that each stock and scion she'd joined the week before were in good condition, she knew that her technique was working well. After she'd finished for the day she ate her tea of bangers and mash (it was always the same) and sat down to read her romance novel. She lived a rather staid life, though it had not always been so. Being a solo round-the-world aviator had been anything but mundane.

641 - DUVET

TErry and June climbed the steep hill back to their hilltop home. After eating dinner they went to their lounge and tuned the valve radio to The Third Programme to listen to the Beethoven piano concerto. That night they were going to test out this new craze of sleeping under a duvet. They both had their doubts about this strange sleeping concept, but in the morning they were thoroughly hooked.

640 - TOUGH

"I Told yOU not to touch", said Alfie's mother. "But instead we have all this mess and the loss of a valuable ornament. I want you to clear this up straight away and I will deduct half of your pocket money for the next year." Alfie groaned and set about clearing up the mess. The next morning his Mum said to him "I've been thinking about yesterday and realised that I was being too tough on you. I'll deduct half of your pocket money for the next fortnight only." Alfie's face lit up and he went to school happy.

639 - GLOVE

ELoisE had planned to elope with Harry and start a new life elsewhere. But at the planned rendezvous, when she got close up to 'Harry', she realised that it wasn't the same man. He could have been a clone - in fact it was Harry's twin Larry. She was so upset, but she still had the flight tickets and so she set off to travel the globe. As she spun round to go she dropped her glove - Larry ran after her to give it back. Maybe she could have been happy with Larry, but that wasn't to be.

638 - CREDO

HEROd and others tried to erode the sect known as 'the way', but his attempts were futile. By 325AD, the Nicene Creed had been agreed upon, known when sung in Latin as the credo, in which the basic beliefs of the followers of 'the way' was set out. By then they were known as Christians and today it is estimated that there are 2.2 billion of them.

637 - YACHT

AnThony was getting all ready to paint but the fumes from the tin made him feel all faint. "Be a saint dear and open some windows", he said to his long-suffering wife. He paused to have a bite of his pasty, but with all the paint fumes it now had a definitive taint. Despite his magot, or nest-egg, Anthony was still quite miserly and he grabbed another fagot of brushwood for the fire; he'd been out earlier collecting it. Eventually he was able to get back to his project and picked up his paintbrush to work on his pride-and-joy yacht.

636 - MEALY

ALAn was kEen to get a medal for racing his pedal cycle. He was also very attracted to large African animals and his cycling lycra featured an eland shape on it. He would practice round the same route traversing the weald, hoping to better his time. No longer did he eat the mealy ground grains of yore - now it was high-protein energy drinks for Alan.

635 - CIDER

This poEm is Rubbish, nonsense sheer
Although it may well raise a cheer
Say it was super
Or even hyper
Is stretching the meaning clear

There's few things that are finer
Than a moper turned diner
Eating fruit that's riper
Plus roasted viper
Expecting to be a miner

The piper was lots wider
Not much good as a hider
Patience - a bider
Not a good rider
Back to the bar for a cider

634 - SWEEP

ThE driving instructor was hoPing for an uneventful few dayS before his holiday. But just now he was yet again having to tell his pupil to watch his speed. Then they turned a sharp corner to be greeted by a flock of sheep blocking the road. The pupil braked rather late and swerved so that the front of the car crashed into the stone wall. Grumpily, the instructor got out to survey the damage. It was a hazard of his trade and so he was prepared with a dustpan and brush so that he could sweep up the broken glass of the headlight. So much for his uneventful build-up to his holiday!

[No animals were harmed in the making of this yarn]

633 - SURLY

Jerry sLuRped his breakfast tea, grabbed his tie and coat and shot out of the house heading for the bUS. A youngster was doing stunts on his skateboard along the pavement. As Jerry waited at the bus stop, the youngster approached and Jerry only caught sight of him at the last moment and fell into the prickly shrub by the bus stop. Although he recovered himself and rode on the bus, by then the incident had made Jerry quite surly, much to the annoyance of his fellow passengers.

632 - BLAME (X)

[This yarn is published late as it had so many words to incorporate]

LArry was in thE aisle of the penal building
In the glade a flame he'd been wielding
Each sepal was scarred
But a badge appeared
With officer attached, Larry to the law was yielding

A while after the blaze, a blade of grass -
The ground heals watched by year 5 class
They left 'tattie peals
From their meal deals
Then back rehearsing the mealy-mouthed seals farce

Larry meanwhile scrounged many a decal
From the bent warden who was venal
As well as Gold Flake
And plenty of cake
And could always blame his cell-mate Big-Al

631 - BIRTH

Maggie, the archaeologist's assistanT, had just aRrIved at the dig. Before long she was getting herself rather dirty searching for the buried jars of which there were many in that location. Most of them were broken, but now and again a whole one would be found. In order to catalogue such a find it was important to measure its girth. Maggie went to the collection point with the whole jar she'd just found. It's measurement meant that it was an extremely rare find. The team had a great deal of mirth celebrating the find as they paused for lunch. "If we try digging on the shore further up the firth of this sea inlet I think we'll find yet more objects of great interest", said the chief archaeologist. They had to climb up the steep hillside to get to the track to head for the next digging location. It was only there that the chief archaeologist was able to get signal on his phone and pick up the voicemail from the maternity nurse informing him that his wife had given birth to twins. He had to hurriedly give directions to his team before heading to the hospital to see his wife and babies.

630 - EMAIL

At the church summer fête, a LArgE queue of children are lining up so that Emily can apply a decorative decal to their arm so that it looks like they have a tattoo. The next child in the queue is sporting an arm sling. "Oh, what happened to you", says Emily, "I hope that heals quickly - I'll pray for you that it does". Meanwhile in the café, Andy chats away while he peals spuds for the communal lunch. The boys, of course, are messing about with a football, although that gets disrupted for a while when one of them twists his ankle (though not severely). It is surprising to find a huddle of people gathering around Mary, a learned-looking botanist, who is telling her audience about the different parts of flowers. Mary is explaining to her audience the various parts - the whorls of calyx, corolla, androecium, and gynoecium each of which contains many a sepal, petal, stamen and pistil respectively. Meanwhile the church administrator is taking photos and checking with the parents of any children in the pictures if it is ok for her to email them to the reporter, who would be going on to present them in the local town magazine along with an account of the fête.

629 - REVEL

LEnny had gRown up in a family that kept horses. But he wasn't happy with everything that happened to the horses. The use of the rowel to spur the horses to get on he felt was cruel. One night he crept to the stables and painted all the rowels with a revolting smelling, sticky substance and put up a poster about cruelty to horses. The next morning, each person who went to get their spurs were stopped in their tracks as the spurs would repel them with their revolting smell; several of them were quite sick. Lenny had been secretly filming the reaction and was so pleased at the result that he decided to go to the pub to revel in his success. Because he was part of the family, no one suspected the mischief-maker was Lenny.

628 - WHERE

ERnest felt he was a writer of fine prose. But he had very small audiences for his recitals because most folk that attended felt it was quite a dirge. But then he discovered that he was quite good at rapping so that he could merge his writing of prose with music and rhythm. A few people who heard him encouraged him to pursue the rapping, so he went on the hunt for a suitable location where he could perform. After a month of searching he came across the ideal setting and as the weeks went by he started getting noticed (and paid).

627 - REGAL

LArry's home was nEaR the palace of the duke. Each morning in the summer he'd be awakened by the glare of the sun reflecting off the bugles as they got ready to blare out their strident sound to declare the duke was in charge. The duke's palace always had the flare of torches by the entrance in the evenings in contrast to the dark streets where Larry lived. Whenever the duke and duchess set off for the theatre, Larry observed the orderly regal procession make its way out of the gates accompanied by the smartly dressed soldiers on horseback. "I'm not as rich as the duke but I have a good life", Larry would think to himself.

626 - HORSE

EthelRed was looking over his estate. "This stream is starting to erode the bank of the river here", he thought to himself, "I must get that seen to". He looked quite grand wearing his cope made of a moire patterned goatskin which was fastened by a morse. He was keen to have a swim in the river but was frustrated when the morse refused to undo. "Unrip this cope off me", he said to his servant. After his swim Ethelred's servant put the wet garments to dry on a nearby gorse bush and set about repairing the cope and morse whilst Ethelred basked in the sun and ate the chicken thigh he'd brought with him. Once the clothes were dry and Ethelred was dressed again, the servant had to use a lot of force to assist Ethelred back up onto his horse. Ethelred galloped off leaving the servant to take the five mile walk back to the mansion, eating a few berries, nuts and mushrooms on the way. "I wonder if it will ever become easier to travel five miles", thought the servant.

625 - PINKY

"I hoPe you fInd what you are after", said Mum to Chloe as she headed for the bus to town. Chloe had good fashion sense and was therefore rather picky when it came to deciding on a new top. Nothing grabbed her interest in all her favourite shops. She had just decided to give up when she decided to pop into the charity shop by the bus stop. In there was a pinky top that was just perfect. She was a happy bunny when she got home with most of her money still there.

624 - TOXIC

When anThony returned from hIs hOliday abroad he was telling his mates at the pub about the shrine and its strange ritual (see 622 - SQUAT). "It's just as well it was only spit and not vomit they asked for", quipped Karl and everyone laughed. "Gin and tonic", called out the barman over the hubbub. Olivier took her G&T and said "You are revolting Karl. Of course they wouldn't do that - it would become toxic in no time."

623 - TREND

Along with a number of oThER bird species, the hoopoe is distinctive by its crest. This usually rests down but is made erect for defence or courtship.

I wonder if this will set a trend in hair-styles?

[Thanks to Wikipedia for the hoopoe image]

622 - SQUAT

AnThony took the bUS to the stupa to see the relics of the Buddha. They had a strange custom there of asking visitors to spit into a sacred bowl. At the end of each day the bowl would be taken to the shrine attendant who would chant some prayers over the bowl with its sputa contents. The bowl would then be put on the heat to evaporate its contents which would then be added to the existing powder. Then the attendant would squat on the ground and meditate for 10 minutes before shutting up the shrine for the night. 

621 - ABOVE

AndrEw hid in his jacket the peach he'd decided to sneak out of the shop with. He set off with a smile to go and abide in his abode. What he wasn't aware of was the security camera in the shop mounted above the fruit isle. He was just finishing his peach when there was a knock at the door; there stood the local policewoman. "Oh, hello Freda, nice to see you", said Andrew. "Off to the station with you", replied Freda. Andrew and Freda had met several times before!

620 - MOOSE

ThE mOon waS high in the clear sky and shone in the garden. "Time to have a scone and jam out here in the moonshine", said Finlay. He went into the house and chose his scone and sat down outside for his snack. The pet goose was dozing, its head tucked under its wing. As Finlay sat enjoying his food, he was practising his knot skills, watching YouTube videos of how to do them. Today it was time to learn about the noose. After finishing his knot tying and his scone he went back inside and joined the rest of his family among the bean bags to watch the latest cartoon film. This film told the story of a little girl who'd befriended a moose.

619 - POLKA

In ALAska, POlar bears are well known for roaming the ice, killing and eating seals and other creatures and a little bit of vegetation. People generally steer clear of polar bears so as not to become prey. What is not generally known is their love of song and dance. One of their favourite dances is the polka dance. Not a lot of people have observed this.