1284 - EAGLE

Warning, his yarn doesn't finish with everyone Living hAppily Ever after. The sable was minding its own business when a hungry eagle swept out of the sky and carried off the sable for its dinner.

The sable before the eagle arrived

1283 - SAUNA

To her dismAy she discovered that the inflatable hot tub was out of order. A snick in the fabric had been found making it unusable. But as compensation, the sauna was available at a quarter of the usual cost. She wasted no time in heading there, emerging some time later feeling very relaxed.

The hot tub had a snick in the fabric

1282 - BRAWN

BARney was plotting to scare his friend Colin. In the process of setting it up, he slipped and, with a great crash, landed on the floor. He was unharmed (apart from his pride), and straight way got back to the prank. At last it was ready. Colin drove in to his driveway, but Barney's clever arrangement of mirrors and painted scenes convinced Colin that there was another car approaching fast and despite standing on the brakes, a prang was inevitable. Colin was shocked and reached for his water bottle. He drank from it on his drive home - could it have been tampered with and had he drunk something intoxicating? As he reeled from all this, an orang-outang knocked on his car window, scaring the wits out of him. The ape indicated to Colin to open his window. Very cautiously, Colin cracked open the window. "What brand of toothpaste do you use, sir", it asked. There was something about that voice that sounded familiar. Suddenly, Colin jumped out of the car and wrestled Barney to the floor; Colin had much more brawn than the skinny Barney. "You beast, Barney, you've given me a nasty shock and scared the living daylights out of me. But I will give you credit for the elaborate contraption in my driveway. Let's meet in the pub in an hour and you can tell me how you did all that", said Colin.

Barney about to tap on Colin's car window

1281 - BLADE

CLAudius trippEd over the hem of his toga and took a tumble. Not only was his pride hurt, but somehow he'd finished up with a vicious looking thorn in his ankle. He commanded his slave, Gaius, to carry him to his physician who lived a dozen stadia away. "I'm in agony here, so no false moves otherwise I'll have you flogged", threatened Claudius. The most direct route included a shady glade where Gaius had to be careful so that his master didn't knock into any of the vegetation. Eventually they got there and the physician examined Claudius. "I'm afraid this is going to hurt a lot more whilst I get this thorn out, but it's for the best", he declared. He gave Claudius something to bite on and then got out a sharp blade and started digging into the foot. Meanwhile, Gaius had procured the use of a chariot owned by one of Claudius's friends and so the limping, bandaged Claudius had a more comfortable journey home than the one getting to the physician.

Claudius talking to a friend before his accident

1280 - FLASH

The patroL set off Again heading along a new route. The route got more and more difficult - they had to use their bayonets to slash through the jungle. They passed some of the enemy that had been slain. However, it was their task to engage the enemy in a fresh clash, not attend to bodies. Then there was a flash off to the side and they all hit the ground as a shell passed nearby, exploding with a loud bang. Time for action.

The patrol heading through the jungle

1279 - STRAY

BreAkfasT at Ronnie's starts with toast
Cut out in the shape of the coast
On which sits a spud that's been roast
Ronnie makes much of his boast
That nowhere else has the most
Unique breakfast with a ghost
But keep careful eye on your food
Else the stray dog has it for good

Beware the stray dog ready to pounce on your breakfast

1278 - HEFTY

If in days of yore you enTEred the dentist's room you'd expect some unpleasant noise or other whilst he worked on your teeth. If a tooth had to come out you would be in agony when he gave a hefty tug to remove it. These days it isn't so bad.

Vintage dental equipment

1277 - SCOWL

When the wedding was over, the saiLor went back to his boat (See 1276 - TOAST). Despite the jollities of the wedding he looked downcast and grumpy. The trouble was that, what should have been neat coils of rope were a jumbled mess. With a scowl that could kill at 100 paces, he went off in search of the apprentice who'd been left in charge of tidying the ropes.

Not what the sailor wanted to see!

1276 - TOAST

The weATher-beaten sailor alighted from his boat and headed for the pub. People in the street were giving him a wide berth because he stank of fish. The bouncer at the pub, holding his nose, cried out "Avast, me hearty, you can't come in here at present. There's a wedding reception taking place." "But it's my daughter getting married", answered the sailor, "I'm entitled to boast about her in there." "Ah, sorry mate, I had been warned about you arriving. Here, there's a shower room and a smart outfit for you to change into right here. You should be able to join the reception in time for the toast", responded the bouncer.

A poster at the fisherman's home!

1275 - FUNKY

Amanda was at a noisy party dressed as a bunny. All was going well until she stood in some gungy substance on the floor, stumbled and fell into some equipment that gave her an electric shock that made her hair stand on end, making her look all punky. It turned out that someone at the party, who was a junky, had been oblivious to what they were doing as had been messing about with tar, thinking it was treacle. Amanda was none-the-worse for her mishap, apart from having to manage without shoes and having her friends redo her hair as best as they could. Pretty soon she was on the dance floor again, dancing to the funky music.

Amanda got back to dancing with her hair sort of fixed

1274 - DROOL

LauRence looked at his papaya and fish soup. The smell was awesome. He gave it a swirl and the krill in it looked like they were swimming. "Oh, don't drool over", said Wendy, "just eat it!"

The Papaya and Krill Soup smelled wonderful

1273 - BOXER

It was a lovEly summeR day but the garden was rather noisy as Roger mowed the lawns. He knocked his head on a low bower, leaving the mower to carry on by itself. Roger recovered himself and caught up with the machine, turning it off. Feeling a bit shaken, he went inside to calm down. That's when he realised he needed to put more time in on defining the dower he was preparing for his upcoming wedding. He had just started when his Dad started work again as a doper on his large glider he was building in the sunlounge. The fumes from this turned the already knocked-about Roger into a dozer. Roger dreamed about his early working life as a humble gofer who had to hover near the boss's office ready to relay messages to the coder for secret onward transmission. In the dream, when he approached his boss, he bowed as if his boss was royalty. That's when he twigged it was a dream and he forced himself awake. He went back out into the garden and examined the bower. He found it was lower than he thought and upon close examination he found a set of borer insects had weakened the bow and it had partially collapsed. To make it more interesting, he put on his old boxing gloves and once again became a boxer as he pummelled the bow until it gave way completely and he could remove it and make the area safe once more.

Roger mowing the lawn before the bower encounter

1272 - VYING

The two of them came in, talking loudly about last night's football. "Hush, you noisy lads, you'll disturb others", commanded the landlady. The volume dropped but then one said "I'm dying for some breakfast". "Me too", exclaimed the other and they burst into a dash to the fridge, vying to have first choice of the fridge contents.

Before they got to their digs

1271 - PLUMB

On a typicaL Saturday it wouldn't be uncommon to find the child fools around on the trampoline, the woman or man would plump up each cushion in turn and the man or woman would plumb in the new washing machine.

Plumbing in the washing machine is always this easy!

1270 - PATIO

Emily wAs enThusiastic as she spoke to her friend - "I've just got a new mobile - my old one wasn't a patch on this one. See I can do this now...". Just then her supervisor, Jane, came in and she had to hurriedly put her phone away and search the storeroom to get the right batch of satin fabric. "What's been keeping you", asked Jane. "Sorry ma'am", respond Emily blushing. She hurried off with the satin roll to the workroom. But Jane was not so innocent either - she checked all round then snuck off to the patio to have a smoke and a sip from her hip flask.

What Emily was supposed to be searching for

1269 - FLUNG

ELoise was having her hair coloured using foils. The hairdresser, Gill, was getting on well until with a flump the roll of aluminium slipped out of her hand, onto the floor and proceeded to unravel, arriving at the salon door just as a customer opened it. The foil kept on unravelling, across the pavement and onto the road, narrowly missing a car's wheels and finally running out at the opposite kerb. Gill was beside herself - "That's a new roll, and they're not cheap", she wailed as she flung herself into the armchair. The salon owner took her aside and calmed her down, explaining how to avoid that catastrophe in the future. Rather sheepishly, Gill had to apologise to Eloise and pick up where she left off.

Eventually the foiling resumed

1268 - HYENA

Even whEn DylAn was on his safari, he still insisted on having pease pudding for breakfast each day; he wasn't interested in all the exotic foods on offer. At the observation station he was using his scientific instruments to measure and collect data about the wild animals. One of the measurements was taking the value of omega, the rate of change of angle (ω=dθ/dt). It helped him calculate the speed of the lions as they pursued their prey. All was going well until one morning when he sat down to his breakfast. He shot out of his chair when he spotted the hyena approaching his breakfast. The staff soon chased it away and Dylan had to eat something else for breakfast.

The hyena was after Dylan's breakfast

1267 - HILLY

Every time ELliot tries to leave his home calmly, he finds that his kitten Tilly foils his attempt by leaping on him, knocking his hat off and almost strangling him with his own scarf. He sighs and yet again asks Lizzie to hold Keesy whilst he sorts himself out and makes a rapid exit onto the hilly street.

Tilly gets the hat again

1266 - SHOVE

ThE detective once again donned his beige coat, brown trousers and brimmed hat (see 1265 - ENDOW). This time he was searching a dark building for some vital documents. He crept around and shone his torch into each dark crevice. But he lost his caution and got engrossed so was unaware of the stranger creeping up on him. Suddenly there was a shove and over he went. Within a trice he was bound and gagged. He cursed himself for letting that happen to him as he watched the stranger escape wearing his coat and he started slowly loosening the ropes that bound him.

Not a good end to his day

1265 - ENDOW

ThE detective didn't want to draw attention to himself and was wearing dark brown trousers, a beige coat and a brimmed hat. His tinted glasses completed the outfit. Today his task was to act as an envoy on behalf of the government towards the mega-corporation. It was an unusual situation where the corporation was worth more than the country's wealth. He was there to make the case that the corporation should endow the government an annual sum of money to assist it in transition out of poverty. He suspected he was on a failed mission so was shocked when the corporation asked for only minor revisions to the request.

The detective-cum-envoy

1264 - CRYPT

As the RecToR walked into the church he heard a distinct snort from the harvest festival display area. Quickly he made his way there to discover a pig with a piece of fruit from the display in its mouth. He was horrified and managed to shoo the creature away and down into the crypt. He could then summon help to get it evicted and back where it belonged. But he was dreading calling Monica to explain what had happened to her display and asking her to repair it.

Monica's harvest festival display beforehand

1263 - SHAKY

Andrew was about to secretly eat a jam doughnut during the lecture. "I'd sure love to smack my lips and then take a big bite, but I don't want to draw attention", he thought. The lecturer was droning on about the detailed structure of a female gonad and Andrew had already lost the plot. So as not to draw attention to himself, instead of taking big bites he decided to spawn the doughnut into little pieces that he could surreptitiously sneak into his mouth. At the end of the lecture he felt cheated of his doughnut and went back to the doughnut shack to get another one. With two doughnuts in him he was so full of energy that he ran the 3 miles back to his flat in record time. However, by the time he got there the sugar had all been used up and he started to feel a bit shaky. Recognising what was happening, he had some more sensible food and started trying to catch up on the lecture subject matter.

The doughnut shack

1262 - GUILE

Today was her househoLd chorEs day. The best part was the ironing because the smell of the newly ironed items brought back memories of her happy childhood. (She had to take care when ironing the voile to make sure the delicate fabric didn't get damaged.) She was glad to sit down to lunch at the end of a busy morning - today it was a bean chile with rice noodles. When the youngsters got back from school she had to use all the guile she could summon to get them to knuckle down to their homework and music practice before they slumped in front of a screen.

She enjoyed doing the ironing

1261 - MAUVE

The Reverend's wife sAw hEr opportunity when the Reverend was scheduled to be away on a four-day conference. She'd been fed up of the dreary looking manse for years and had secretively arranged for the decorators to move in and transform it inside and out. When the Reverend returned he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the bright blue house. The off-white downstairs rooms dazzled him and he couldn't imagine sleeping in the mauve bedroom. When his wife returned from the bring and buy sale she was grinning from ear to ear at the dumbfounded look on her husband's face. "Whatever will the finance committee say", he kept muttering. Conversation between them was tense for the next couple of weeks as he became accustomed to the transformation.

The transformed Manse

1260 - DOGMA

CArlos had had a happy childhood. His parents loved him despite their humble resources. That's not to say that he didn't have the occasional spank when he was out of line, but these taught him well to differentiate right from wrong. Now he was a late-twenties businessman walking briskly down the street sipping his mocha on his way in to work. His phone pinged and Carlos stopped to read the message from Momma. He dashed off a quick reply, then got going again. His Momma did the same every morning - for her it was almost a part of her dogma. But Carlos didn't mind - he loved his Momma.

Carlos texting his Momma