This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:
"Yummy!", gurgled Goldie. We were on holiday in Hawaii and were staying in a posh hotel. Me, Grace, Gabriel, Goldie and mum. Right now, we are at the buffet tucking into pizza. Goldie has tomato sauce all over her mouth. After that we go back to our room and unpack. We only arrived this morning. Goldie has done a gungy poo and Gabriel has made a new buddy already! Next we go for a swim. Me, Grace and Gabriel jump in while Goldie, who has golden hair and people always say ‘Awww!’ when she goes by, stays at the shallow end with mum. Us three play ball and chuck it to each other in the pool. At dinner time, mum has a buffy coloured egg. Grace and Gabriel bandy about it. Then we head up to see the lady at the front desk who was unexpectedly, a deeply pious woman. Then mum said to me “Gail, could you hold the show tickets?”. Finally, we go and see a funny show.
This is my version:
"There go the pious mob", scoffed Chuck, as he saw the church-goers heading in for their service. Chuck had no regard for anything religious, but instead was always up to something frivolous. Today he was off to see his mate, Frank, but first he was going to make a gungy buffy-coloured mixture - he wasn't used to this sort of thing, so he wasn't sure how well it would be received. When Chuck got to the home of his buddy Frank said it was quite yummy and kept having more. They went for a run and then sank into Frank's armchairs to bandy their thoughts on the latest gimmicks; Chuck's gimmick was derided by Frank and vice-versa. They thought this was really funny until Frank's wife returned from church and scolded him severely for the coarse humour and the mess in the place. It was time for Chuck to head home!
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