This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:
Benny hAd woken up feeling veRy hungry and after eating his
porridge, he still felt hungry. Benny was a squirrel and lived with his twin
sister Bonnie and his parents. Benny had caught sight of a pack of chocolate
coated walnuts on a high shelf. They were in his dads grasp but of
course, his dad would refuse and say, "No, you've just had your breakfast
and as they are chocolate coated, well, you'll have to have them after
lunch!".
All of Benny's fathers' friends played a
brass instrument which they all played
together in a band on Saturday mornings.
Benny opened up his new fact book and read it to take his mind off food for
a while. Did you know a dolphin uses sonar?
After 3 pages of reading, Benny stopped. 2 reasons. 1. because Benny's dad
was practicing his trumpet and he accidentally dropped it and it made a loud
crash, and 2. because his tummy was rumbling like an earthquake.
This is my version:
An eccentRic sailor had built himself a small submarine. He had just upgraded it by fitting active sonar equipment and was proudly setting off on a test trip. Grinning from ear to ear, he watched the sonar telling him of his distance from the seabed. Occasionally he'd glance at the brass-rimmed pressure gauge - all was well. But all of a sudden there was a bump and a crash of crockery from the galley as the submarine bumped into the harbour wall. The sailor had to reach out and grasp a handle to stop himself falling over. The smile on his face was no longer there as the truth dawned that he'd been paying too much attention to the sonar equipment and hadn't kept an eye on where he was on his chart. Since the pressure vessel seemed to be intact, he rose to the surface in order to see better and carefully sail back to his moorings. The craft was not too badly damaged, though looked unsightly - it was the submariner's pride that was more 'damaged'!
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