1321 - FALSE

Mountains aLwAys stay thE same height - true or false?

Volcanos can get higher or lower

1320 - UDDER

ThE farmeR had become aware of a drop in egg production, so tonight he'd hid out watching. Around 5am he was aware of movement and spotted the young lad from the village emerging from the hen barn with a tray of eggs. "Oy", shouted the farmer. The lad put down the eggs, snuck under the udder of the cow and scarpered. "I don't think he'll be back", thought the farmer, and sure enough egg production went back to normal after that.

The young egg thief had moved on to stealing from the farmer

1319 - FEVER

Garfield SobERs is clapped onto the pitch, takes his stand and plays the first delivery. To the shock of his team and his supporters, his bat only makes a snick with the ball which is easily caught by the wicket keeper. "Howzat", shouts the bowler. The umpire raises his finger. "Rough justice there", says one of the other players as Garfield heads to the changing rooms. Ten minutes later his colleague seeks him out and finds Garfield with tears streaming down his face. "Oh, come on, Garfield, don't be a cryer. It happens", he says. "We'll go over to the fryer afterwards and you can have a few beers to drown your sorrows". Garfield responds: "It's not tears - I'm starting a fever. I'm heading home and to bed."

Garfield Sobers

1318 - SHUNT

Todd had come home rather light headed from the 60-year-olds party. He took out his false tooth and put it down, though he wasn't really aware where. The next morning he was very frustrated by the absence of his tooth and retreated to his man-shed to play with his model railway. About half an hour later, as he set the goods train to shunt into the siding, there was his false tooth sitting in the open wagon! His mood lifted for the rest of his day!

Todd's model railway had a convenient spot to put his false tooth!

1317 - SUNNY

Zac's fist came down to pound the worktop, but he managed to stop it an inch above. He was seething inside with fury, but his voice was controlled and calm. "I will be suing for every last penny", he calmly said, looking straight at him, pausing and then turning and walking out of the building into the sunny street outside. To be continued...

Zac controlled his outward expression of anger just in time

1316 - CRISP

Kylie knew that Ray was in deep trouble and set off to find him and bring him home. She found him in the local pub attempting to drown his sorrows. He was glad to have her there - "You are a brick, dear", he managed to say, almost falling off his stool. "Yes, ok, I'll come home - let me just finish off this crisp", he said as he attempted to get his hand into the already empty crisp bag.

Ray was planning on staying some time

1315 - CREPE

This 'romantic' boat trip wasn't going vERy well! There was too much noise from the boat engine, a grebe flying overhead did a poop on the tablecloth and the hired 'musician' didn't know his breve from his semiquaver! Then to crown it all, they had used sugary crème instead of cream and partially-thawed frozen strawberries in the crepe! But they were hopelessly in love and they just laughed their way back home after the trip, hand in hand, kissing often.

What the advertising brochure had shown!

1314 - UPPER X/6

HER scissors were brand new and she wanted to test them out. First, she cut a small snick in a piece of fabric - very satisfying. Secondly she wanted to see if they'd open any wider than her old scissors - yup, just right. Then she wanted to test out the fancy holder that suspended the scissors in a magnetic field so that they would just hover there ready for action. Yes, that worked, but she doubted she'd make regular use of it as it took us so much space. Time for a cuppa. The milk was past its bbe date, but she wanted to finish it before starting the next one. A few minutes later she regretted her decision and taken the purer milk as she started feeling rather queer. She had to rush to the bathroom and let her body heal itself by vomiting 🤮. After that she wanted to do something restful, so she sat down by her artwork. She started with an umber wash for the ground. By the time she'd finished, she felt tons better and she headed up to the upper floor of the house to carry on with sorting out her historical records.

The scissors did open nice and wide

1313 - REACH

Alan the marinER knelt afore his great grandfather's grave, deep in thought. All of a sudden he was roused when a crake and a drake flapped noisily into the air in alarm. It was then that Alan became aware of the sheep having a graze in the adjacent row of graves. He shooed it away and proceeded to drape the protective netting over the grape vine growing on the grave, hoping it would keep the grapes out of reach of the birds. And then it was time to head home.

Alan was deep in thought by his great grandfather's grave

1312 - ICING

"I don't like the noisy sounds from the back of the car", she said as she pulled in to a lay-by, "The ching ching sound makes me think something is going to get broken". Having checked her cargo carefully, nothing was amiss and she was able to proceed to her destination and set up the children's party. It looked splendid especially the cake with its icing work of art. "It's a shame it will all look such a mess after the little dears have enjoyed themselves", she mused.

The children's party was coming together nicely

1311 - SQUID

The restaurant was very noisy so they just had to eat their squid in silence!

The squid was yummy - shame about the noise

1310 - ROWER X/6

His mothER laid down the law - "You have a mound of laundry to do and I insist you get on with it!", she commanded. Roger pulled a long face and wished he had a gofer he could call on to do it for him, so he could carry on playing his computer game. He set to on the task with little enthusiasm. He was unaware of the knock-on effect of needing the electricity - more coal was needed for making electricity. Thus less coal was available for the coker plant. But that was for others to be worried about! Much earlier his more motivated younger brother had set off to his work as a roper; he had become quite skilled at the trade by now. He was also rather skilled in handling ropes even to the extent of making them look like they could hover over things. His older brother, on the other hand, had taken up a rather unsavoury job on a coper supplying dodgy booze to the North Sea fishing fleet. His parents couldn't understand it - "Surely it would be better to have sober fishermen than those with judgement clouded by alcohol", they would say. Eventually, Roger finished his laundry, dressed up all smart, splashed on some Old Spice, ducked under the bower hanging low over the garden path and headed out to the gym where he had a good long go on the rower machine.

Roger enjoyed his visit to the gym after finishing the laundry

1309 - SILLY

"Luke, those shoes of yours are all soily. I hope you are not going to sully my floor with those". "Of course not, don't be silly, I wouldn't do that!"

I hope you are not going to sully my floor with those

1308 - PROSE

ThERe was an eerie silence. Was this the prelude to something sinister? No, it was just Abel summoning up the frame of mind to allow him to do a chore or two! When he was cleaning the meter cupboard, he came across a slumbering drone wasp. In his hurry to dispatch it, he turned off the electricity and he had to grope around, feeling for the on switch. After that he wasn't in the frame of mind for chores anymore so he headed to his writing desk to write some more prose.

Wasps everywhere!

1307 - FLINT

ALThough he is loved by his Mum, he does have his stubborn streak and, if he doesn't apologise, he has to pay the consequences. So today as we observe the scene, he toils away with the axe chopping firewood with his X-box temporarily confiscated. He then has to make up the fire and set a flint to it, making sure it gets settled in before he's allowed to get back to what he wants to do.

He has to chop the firewood

1306 - KNACK

As it was Thursday, once again he dressed like a swank and headed to town. He wasn't shocked by the child having a spank because his mind was intent on practicing swinging his stick. To his chagrin, with his first attempt it flew out of his hand, narrowly missing a poor duck that was minding its own business! With a "Quack, quack quack", the duck flew off and he picked up his stick resuming his practice. "I'll get the knack of this one day", he muttered to himself.

He was determined to be a swank

1305 - FANCY

Inside the hovel the lAp dog looked out of place. It was very noisy and looked mangy with the owner looking quite manky. It was a pitiful sight and the officer had to put his hanky in front of his nose because of the smell. The strange exception in the room was an Andy-Pandy puppet that was pristine and looked very fancy. The officer could have done with Sherlock Holmes alongside to explain what was going on here. As it was he had to take action to rescue the dog and its owner.

The officer could have done with Sherlock Holmes to make sense of the scene

1304 - CLOAK

It was coLd outside And she hurried along with her cloak wrapped tightly around her.

Caption

1303 - TOTAL

LArry was in full flow saying, "IT is vital that we rid our planet of this plague of spiders", he was saying. Everyone ignored him because they knew he was talking total nonsense.

Larry had seen pictures of a plague of spiders

1302 - DINGY

"Why is this outboard motor so noisy today? I hope I don't have to take it to be repaired." Bert turned it off and checked it all over. "Oh, I see", he gasped, "This pipe here is now kinky. I'll sort that out and try again". After a bit of work Bert tried again and within minutes the dingy set off with a gentle purr heading for his boat moored up in the river.

Bert's dingy working nicely

1301 - CRAWL

The yacht saiLing cruise wAs going well and eveRyone seemed relaxed. But the skipper and his crew were on the alert and minutes later the alarm sounded with instructions for the passengers to head below. The sailors got to work to prepare the yacht for the upcoming storm and lowered the sails, swiftly tying them up with the brail ropes. As the storm battered the yacht little progress was made; they were going at a crawl. Once it had passed, the cruise could resume and the winds were now favourable allowing them to make up time.

Coping with the storm

1300 - WAFER

AlEx had retiRed from riding pacer horses and had taken up bird spotting. He was particularly knowledgeable about wader types of bird. These things Sid, his best friend knew. What Alex never told Sid was of the time he lived in Derbyshire and had nearly got caught one night when he was one of a caver gang stealing ore from the local mine. The narrow escape cured Alex of that and it was part of his secret past. Giving it up had been a sort of saver for him as he turned his energies to being well educated. It wasn't easy and he often had to cadge lifts from his friends in order to get about. At university he studied on one of the rarer courses, gaining his degree in ornithology (wader). He'd become so good that, when his colleagues tried to play a prank on him and float a model bird from the Southern Hemisphere on the river Alex was studying, he spotted the faker instantly. This evening, Alex and Sid were deep in discussion, though they did stop to buy an ice cream; an oyster ice-cream for Sid and a block with a wafer top and bottom for Alex from a quirky shop that sold older ice-cream products.

Oyster Ice-Cream

1299 - DRAFT

Uncle JAke was paying a rare visiT to the family. "My, how you've gRown, Jason", Jake was saying, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "I want to be a tramp", replied Jason, shocking the adults within earshot. "Oh, I don't think you'd like that, Jason, it would be like living in a permanent draft and you'd get wet so often." Jason scowled.

What Jason wanted to be when he grew up

1298 - ATLAS

Leo wAs an inquisiTive child and was always asking questions. Whilst his Mum and Dad were pleased he asked questions, sometimes it was a bit overwhelming. Today it was: "Why is the globe on a slant? It would look better if it were upright." Dad sighed and attempted to give an explanation. "With the earth spinning on a slant it means that we have seasons like summer and winter", he offered. "That explains the consequences of the slant, but I wanted to know why it is", replied Leo precociously. "Lots of people over many years have sought to answer that and some think they know why. But ultimately only God knows as He is the One who created it and Who has seen it over all those years." There was quiet for about 10 minutes until: "Why are the shapes on an atlas not the same shapes as on a globe?", piped up Leo again. "You'll need to ask your uncle Gary that - he's the mathematician", replied Mum, wriggling out of answering.

Leo was puzzled by the 23½ degree slant of the globe

1297 - SPRIG

Rick had just been shorn at the barbers and was feeling good about himself. He went home and had crumpets with syrup, enjoying every mouthful. He put a sprig of flowers in his buttonhole and set out to enjoy himself in town.

Rick looked smart

1296 - CYBER

ERic was in two minds what to put in his regalia pouch. Should it be the printed version or his iPad? He picked the latter because of the risk of the strong winds blowing the paper away. When he took up his position as the town cryer, he took out his iPad from the pouch but he was crest-fallen when it wouldn't come on. "Oh, I shouldn't have trusted cyber", he groaned, "I must have forgotten to charge it up". He had to deliver his message from memory and was grateful that so few people turned up to hear his announcements.

Eric in full swing

1295 - RELAX

ALAstair was meAndeRing down the pavement in his own little world, thinking about this and that and not paying much attention to anything else. He found himself standing outside a stranger's front door and wondered why the key would not work in the lock. Just then the glare from the policeman's torch brought him out of his reverie. "Oh, evening constable, I was not thinking straight and have finished up at the wrong house", he managed to say as he pulled himself together and made a bee-line to his home. The constable had given him quite a fright, so he made a comforting hot chocolate with frothy cream on top and sat in his favourite chair to relax and recover.

Alastair was at the wrong door

1294 - CHEAP

JAck had just won thrEe million pounds on the lottery. But his sister was puzzled and asked him why he was eating pease pudding for dinner. She told him that it was too cheap and that he could now afford foods like caviar, truffles, pheasant, matsutake mushrooms and oysters. Jack said that he didn't know if he'd like them and that he'd rather stick to something familiar that he liked!

Matsutake Carpaccio

1293 - CHOSE

ShE was trying to decide on which coat to buy; it had to be right. But just as she was confirming her decision on which coat to buy, a party of excited young children were shepherded through the shop, guided by their teachers and assistants and making a lot of noise. When she got home and examined her purchase she realised she chose the wrong coat, having been distracted by the hubbub.

There was a lot of noise from the children

1292 - NERVE

This is my 10-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Mrs BERciles is such a prude! She wears extremely dull clothes and seldom ever smiles!", Tom said, as Mrs Berciles walked by with a plain loaf of bread and a small carton of milk. "I heard that she doesn't have the nerve to go to the supplies shop because they have started selling drupe shaped sweets! Apparently she detests them!", Mia said, joining in. "Yeah! And when the neighbourhood went to see the town football game, we had the best John Tibbs and Martie Easters score, she didn't even clap! I think she scoffed and read her book for the rest of the game, even though it was really exciting!", Lucy said creepily. "She gives me shivers down my spine!"

At the town football game

This is my version:

ERnestine kept a careful score of the quantity of drupe type fruit she ate every day. She believed that too many would make your hair fall out. She also had many other things she wouldn't do, believing them to be unlawful, irreligious, rude or naughty. She always wore a long khaki dress with no jewellery and she never used makeup. She was a right old prude and her neighbours laughed at her. But woe betide anyone who had the nerve to insult her. She always found a way of getting the better of them.

Ernestine was not to be messed with

1291 - LEMUR

This is my 10-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"EndLEss landscape, it's hot today isn't it, no wondeR Lola's panting so much!", Max said turning the pages of his book. "I'll take her down to the steam for a drink. Its shady over there so I can cool off too!", Lucy announced, getting up. "Anyone want to come?" "I'll come! I'm quite hot myself so the shade will do me some good! Maybe I can cup my hands together and join Lola with the drink too!", Mia said also getting up. "Aaaaw! Listen, the Courtridge zoo has taken on a new baby lemur! His name is pepper because of his markings, according to the paper", Tom said suddenly. "Is that Dad's paper?" "Well, Um, I guess so or... OK it's Dad's paper." "Tom!"

Pepper with its Mum

This is my version:

Feathers McGraw was LockEd in the zoo because he was a buRgler. He tried to befriend the lemur, but it kept falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, so Feathers gave up and started plotting how to steal the blue diamond again.

Feathers McGraw safely in the zoo prison