ALl through the day it had been
noisy, but this hobby meant she got some
peace when most folk had gone to bed. Every Wednesday she set herself up to
keep vigil watching out for hedgehog
activity until 3am. As the light faded and darkness invaded, each
pupil of her eye would widen right out and she could make out
clearly the creatures in what most of her friends thought was utter
darkness. But some Wednesday nights were not successful when some security
light or other would light up, shutting her eye pupils down and causing her
to give up early.
Young YoLAnda Enjoyed her regular visits to her Aunt Rhoda
each week. "Are you looking forward to starting pre-school next week", asked
Mum one day. "Well, yes and no", replied Yolanda thoughtfully. It all sounds
such fun, but I'll miss visiting Aunt Rhoda. Let me show you what Aunt Rhoda
has been teaching me", said Yolanda, as she shot upstairs to Mum's room and
set herself up to operate the sewing machine. Mum stood there, transfixed,
as Yolanda stitched two pieces of fabric together so neatly and so quickly.
She was about to do the next edge when Mum said "I
plead with you not to be so heavy on the
pedal - I fear you'll get your hand caught". "Oh, don't worry
Mum", Yolanda said, "Aunt Rhoda has only let me go this fast after a lot of
practice", retorted Yolanda precociously!
"ThERe is no place for snide remarks
about your Jerry's piano playing, Mark", said Mum, "He's having to cope with
hemi-demi-semi-quavers and a breve in that piece of music; it isn't
an easy piece. You need to knuckle down to your English homework or else you
might fail your exam. So what was the rheme in that last sentence I
said?" "That I might fail my exam?", Mark said hopefully. "Yes. Now what's
the rest of your English homework about?" "I've got to retell a familiar
story in a new setting. I was planning on doing the story of the
whore and the two spies. Where do I find that?" "Well firstly, that
word is derogatory - use prostitute instead", Mum warned, "and you'll find
it in the Bible, Joshua chapter 2". Mark was struggling to begin with -
English was not a strong subject for him. He was having to
grope around in the hidden parts of his
mind for ideas! Then Mark got quite engrossed in his writing and his Mum was
intrigued. She kept finding excuses to get close and read odd bits of Mark's
story. "We're going to catch them. With one of them we'll generate loads of
blood. We'll watch as he perishes and his blood turns to grume. With
the other guy, we'll burke him". Mum was a bit distressed at the gory
details but pleased that Mark was getting creative. Meanwhile, Jerry was
stuck on his artwork. "What's up Jerry", asked Mum. "I've got to draw an
interesting picture with straight lines - not even one
curve is allowed", sighed Jerry. "Let me
show you a few ideas", said Mum, sketching bits and bobs on a bit of scrap
paper. Just then Dad came in. "What's kept you?", Mum was quick to ask,
"It's not long before we have to leave to see the revue done
by the local amateur dramatics society.
Mum was quick to sketch what looked like curves using straight lines
GarEth was alone in the house when he became awaRe of a
noise from the basement. He descended the
steps cautiously, having to grope around for the light switch. On the
last step his foot knocked something off the step nearly sending him
tumbling. Once the light was on, he surveyed the scene. The original noise
had come from a rusty shelf fixture finally giving way, scattering tins of
nails and screws all over the floor. His foot had knocked over an unfinished
can of paint which had dislodged its lid and spread paint over the floor. He
groaned with despair. "What a chore this is going to be
clearing this up", he groaned.
Nails and screws were scattered over the basement floor
"ThERe are important guests coming for dinner tonight", he
announced as he charged in the front door looking flustered. "We need to
pull out all the stops tonight for dinner time." "Yes, dear", she replied
sighing. "No dear, it was not a good day - thanks for asking", she muttered
under her breath as he charged upstairs to change and, no doubt, catch up on
the football news. By the time he came back down, the table was all laid and
there were delicious cooking smells wafting out of the kitchen. The guests
arrived and all was smiles as the drinks were served. The soup was served
and the meal started. "Pass round the
cruet darling", she said to him. He picked
it up and was passing it to the first guest when the
rivet holding it together gave way, dropping the salt cellar
which fell into the guest's soup, splashing her outfit and making a right
old mess. On this occasion he had no one to blame but himself for the
disaster and the aftermath as she'd been pestering him to buy a replacement
for months.
He was first down to breAkfasT. He opened the packet of bacon
and reeled - it stank! But before he could
dispose of it, she came in and reached for the packet of bacon.
"Avast", he shouted, "it's gone off. It'll have to be
toast and marmalade this morning."
It was toast and marmalade for breakfast that morning
