Outside the window was a magnificent stag 🦌 with huge AnTlERs and a glowing red nose. Jimmy was rooted to the spot with an astonished stare. The stag turned towards him and Jimmy was convinced it winked at him before taking off at great speed up into the air. "I've just seen Rudolph Mummy", he blurted out. "Yes, dear", was Mummy's response before resuming reading her magazine. No one took Jimmy's account of the scene seriously; poor Jimmy.
Colonel CArruthers was puzzled by the noises he heard from the next-door office, so he went in to check. "What are you doing Mahendra?", he exclaimed as he observed his clerk staring at a small box and furiously pressing buttons on it. "I'm sorry, sir", said Mahendra, "I have an early form of Sonic the Hedgehog running on a Sega Game Gear that's fallen through a worm hole in time." The Colonel was furious. "That's not appropriate for you baboo Mahendra. As punishment, you need to work alongside the workers stuffing kapok into mattresses for the rest of the week. Mahendra was miffed and was very glad when the weekend arrived and he could go to his dance lessons, this time learning the steps to the mambo.
This is my 10-year-old Granddaughter's version:
"So, when are we going? " Timmy asked sitting down on the steps after waiting for Ben to come down." It's not been long Tim, cool it. I don't see why you're so excited anyways, it's a boring walk and I do not want this new fur coat to get dirty! " Peri said haughtily applying lipstick 💄. A few minutes later, Ben came down making lots of noise as he put on his coat and bag. They set off and soon started walking. After a good few hours of hiking, Ben plopped himself down beside a beech tree and took a long sip of water. "Eeew! Ben put your coat down for me to sit on and make sure no bugs crawl onto me!" Peri squealed daintily sitting down and brushing the mud of her shoes with a wet wipe. "Here let me help you Peri, oops! There's an ant!" Ben said gently flicking off an ant." Oh come on! You're all being soft and daft when we should be walking. Leave little miss fussypots and be firm on her. You know she loves flattery!" Timmy said, red with rage after the little pity scene with his siblings. "Oh don't decry Ben's kindness Tim. You are just rude and annoying with a quick temper. Poor Benjamin is just doing this out of the kindness of his heart", Peri said, red in the face and head up. "Pooh! More like because you told him to!" Timmy scoffed under his breath. Peri rolled her eyes and Ben looked sad and went on silently with his hands in his pockets as he usually did when he was upset. Probably because he just got told off by his little brother.
This is my version:
There was a tERrible noise as a huge branch fell off the beech tree, narrowly missing the main structure of the garden shed, but knocking off the guttering. Albert went out to fix it back in place, though it looked like a project doomed to failure. Glenda was very dismissive of Albert's efforts, but Kaz reprimanded her - "Don't decry his efforts. It's good that he is motivated."
This is my 10-year-old Granddaughter's version:
Come on, Dad wants us to go shopping for cereaL, milk, eggs and flouR. Oh, and sugar. He said to go to the new Chinese take-away to get prawn crackers too", said Tom, squinting at the list and adjusting his glasses. "Can I come too?", Mia asked, looking up from rubbing Lola's tummy. "Not you Mia, I want you and Lucy to watch me make flour." Mia and Lucy watched Mum grind each tiny grain of wheat while the boys started to get ready to go to the shops. "Listen to this", Dad said suddenly, looking up from his paper. "Two cars crash with a prang!" "Wow", said Max as he drank the rest of his juice. Dad folded his paper up and walked over to the stairs, deftly stepping over the fine cord stretched between the doorposts as a prank. "Oh Max, Tom, get the Carter's brand of cereal please", he said before vanishing into his bedroom.
This is my version:
As LauRie fumed in the chauffeured car, he learned that the delay was because of a crash ahead that had blocked all the motorway off. This brand launch was important and he didn't want to miss it. At least it wasn't a delay because of a prank played by a rival. At last he arrived and he started mingling. He'd just taken a mouthful of prawn and pickle when there was a tremendous prang as a careless visitor stumbled into an elaborate display. Laurie groaned - "He clearly drank too much earlier, and probably the grain variety at that".
Amery was enjoying his work designing a computer game. That is, until he made some changes and now every minute the code would spawn a gremlin-type character that would run amuck through the game messing up the scene, the scores and so on. He checked his code most carefully but the fault seemed to avoid detection. He went home late in a sulk but as he stepped in the door, a shelf was thrust into his hands by his wife that he'd been asked to affix to the wall two weeks ago. "Don't expect any dinner until this is in place", she snorted, and stormed off, leaving Amery dumbfounded.
It becAmE a national scandal when the aeRoplane landed. All the passengers wrote on their social media feeds about how the airline had completely messed up the catering and the stewardess had requested that the passengers share a meal between two people!
Warning, this yarn doesn't finish with everyone Living hAppily Ever after. The sable was minding its own business when a hungry eagle swept out of the sky and carried off the sable for its dinner.
To her dismAy she discovered that the inflatable hot tub was out of order. A snick in the fabric had been found making it unusable. But as compensation, the sauna was available at a quarter of the usual cost. She wasted no time in heading there, emerging some time later feeling very relaxed.
BARney was plotting to scare his friend Colin. In the process of setting it up, he slipped and, with a great crash, landed on the floor. He was unharmed (apart from his pride), and straight way got back to the prank. At last it was ready. Colin drove in to his driveway, but Barney's clever arrangement of mirrors and painted scenes convinced Colin that there was another car approaching fast and despite standing on the brakes, a prang was inevitable. Colin was shocked and reached for his water bottle. He drank from it on his drive home - could it have been tampered with and had he drunk something intoxicating? As he reeled from all this, an orang-outang knocked on his car window, scaring the wits out of him. The ape indicated to Colin to open his window. Very cautiously, Colin cracked open the window. "What brand of toothpaste do you use, sir", it asked. There was something about that voice that sounded familiar. Suddenly, Colin jumped out of the car and wrestled Barney to the floor; Colin had much more brawn than the skinny Barney. "You beast, Barney, you've given me a nasty shock and scared the living daylights out of me. But I will give you credit for the elaborate contraption in my driveway. Let's meet in the pub in an hour and you can tell me how you did all that", said Colin.
CLAudius trippEd over the hem of his toga and took a tumble. Not only was his pride hurt, but somehow he'd finished up with a vicious looking thorn in his ankle. He commanded his slave, Gaius, to carry him to his physician who lived a dozen stadia away. "I'm in agony here, so no false moves otherwise I'll have you flogged", threatened Claudius. The most direct route included a shady glade where Gaius had to be careful so that his master didn't knock into any of the vegetation. Eventually they got there and the physician examined Claudius. "I'm afraid this is going to hurt a lot more whilst I get this thorn out, but it's for the best", he declared. He gave Claudius something to bite on and then got out a sharp blade and started digging into the foot. Meanwhile, Gaius had procured the use of a chariot owned by one of Claudius's friends and so the limping, bandaged Claudius had a more comfortable journey home than the one getting to the physician.
The patroL set off Again heading along a new route. The route got more and more difficult - they had to use their bayonets to slash through the jungle. They passed some of the enemy that had been slain. However, it was their task to engage the enemy in a fresh clash, not attend to bodies. Then there was a flash off to the side and they all hit the ground as a shell passed nearby, exploding with a loud bang. Time for action.
BreAkfasT at Ronnie's starts with toast
Cut out in the shape of the coast
On which sits a spud that's been roast
Ronnie makes much of his boast
That nowhere else has the most
Unique breakfast with a ghost
But keep careful eye on your food
Else the stray dog has it for good
If in days of yore you enTEred the dentist's room you'd expect some unpleasant noise or other whilst he worked on your teeth. If a tooth had to come out you would be in agony when he gave a hefty tug to remove it. These days it isn't so bad.
When the wedding was over, the saiLor went back to his boat (See 1276 - TOAST). Despite the jollities of the wedding he looked downcast and grumpy. The trouble was that, what should have been neat coils of rope were a jumbled mess. With a scowl that could kill at 100 paces, he went off in search of the apprentice who'd been left in charge of tidying the ropes.
The weATher-beaten sailor alighted from his boat and headed for the pub. People in the street were giving him a wide berth because he stank of fish. The bouncer at the pub, holding his nose, cried out "Avast, me hearty, you can't come in here at present. There's a wedding reception taking place." "But it's my daughter getting married", answered the sailor, "I'm entitled to boast about her in there." "Ah, sorry mate, I had been warned about you arriving. Here, there's a shower room and a smart outfit for you to change into right here. You should be able to join the reception in time for the toast", responded the bouncer.
Amanda was at a noisy party dressed as a bunny. All was going well until she stood in some gungy substance on the floor, stumbled and fell into some equipment that gave her an electric shock that made her hair stand on end, making her look all punky. It turned out that someone at the party, who was a junky, had been oblivious to what they were doing as had been messing about with tar, thinking it was treacle. Amanda was none-the-worse for her mishap, apart from having to manage without shoes and having her friends redo her hair as best as they could. Pretty soon she was on the dance floor again, dancing to the funky music.
LauRence looked at his papaya and fish soup. The smell was awesome. He gave it a swirl and the krill in it looked like they were swimming. "Oh, don't drool over", said Wendy, "just eat it!"
It was a lovEly summeR day but the garden was rather noisy as Roger mowed the lawns. He knocked his head on a low bower, leaving the mower to carry on by itself. Roger recovered himself and caught up with the machine, turning it off. Feeling a bit shaken, he went inside to calm down. That's when he realised he needed to put more time in on defining the dower he was preparing for his upcoming wedding. He had just started when his Dad started work again as a doper on his large glider he was building in the sunlounge. The fumes from this turned the already knocked-about Roger into a dozer. Roger dreamed about his early working life as a humble gofer who had to hover near the boss's office ready to relay messages to the coder for secret onward transmission. In the dream, when he approached his boss, he bowed as if his boss was royalty. That's when he twigged it was a dream and he forced himself awake. He went back out into the garden and examined the bower. He found it was lower than he thought and upon close examination he found a set of borer insects had weakened the bow and it had partially collapsed. To make it more interesting, he put on his old boxing gloves and once again became a boxer as he pummelled the bow until it gave way completely and he could remove it and make the area safe once more.
The two of them came in, talking loudly about last night's football. "Hush, you noisy lads, you'll disturb others", commanded the landlady. The volume dropped but then one said "I'm dying for some breakfast". "Me too", exclaimed the other and they burst into a dash to the fridge, vying to have first choice of the fridge contents.
On a typicaL Saturday it wouldn't be uncommon to find the child fools around on the trampoline, the woman or man would plump up each cushion in turn and the man or woman would plumb in the new washing machine.
Emily wAs enThusiastic as she spoke to her friend - "I've just got a new mobile - my old one wasn't a patch on this one. See I can do this now...". Just then her supervisor, Jane, came in and she had to hurriedly put her phone away and search the storeroom to get the right batch of satin fabric. "What's been keeping you", asked Jane. "Sorry ma'am", respond Emily blushing. She hurried off with the satin roll to the workroom. But Jane was not so innocent either - she checked all round then snuck off to the patio to have a smoke and a sip from her hip flask.
ELoise was having her hair coloured using foils. The hairdresser, Gill, was getting on well until with a flump the roll of aluminium slipped out of her hand, onto the floor and proceeded to unravel, arriving at the salon door just as a customer opened it. The foil kept on unravelling, across the pavement and onto the road, narrowly missing a car's wheels and finally running out at the opposite kerb. Gill was beside herself - "That's a new roll, and they're not cheap", she wailed as she flung herself into the armchair. The salon owner took her aside and calmed her down, explaining how to avoid that catastrophe in the future. Rather sheepishly, Gill had to apologise to Eloise and pick up where she left off.
Even whEn DylAn was on his safari, he still insisted on having pease pudding for breakfast each day; he wasn't interested in all the exotic foods on offer. At the observation station he was using his scientific instruments to measure and collect data about the wild animals. One of the measurements was taking the value of omega, the rate of change of angle (ω=dθ/dt). It helped him calculate the speed of the lions as they pursued their prey. All was going well until one morning when he sat down to his breakfast. He shot out of his chair when he spotted the hyena approaching his breakfast. The staff soon chased it away and Dylan had to eat something else for breakfast.
Every time ELliot tries to leave his home calmly, he finds that his kitten Tilly foils his attempt by leaping on him, knocking his hat off and almost strangling him with his own scarf. He sighs and yet again asks Lizzie to hold Keesy whilst he sorts himself out and makes a rapid exit onto the hilly street.
ThE detective once again donned his beige coat, brown trousers and brimmed hat (see 1265 - ENDOW). This time he was searching a dark building for some vital documents. He crept around and shone his torch into each dark crevice. But he lost his caution and got engrossed so was unaware of the stranger creeping up on him. Suddenly there was a shove and over he went. Within a trice he was bound and gagged. He cursed himself for letting that happen to him as he watched the stranger escape wearing his coat and he started slowly loosening the ropes that bound him.
ThE detective didn't want to draw attention to himself and was wearing dark brown trousers, a beige coat and a brimmed hat. His tinted glasses completed the outfit. Today his task was to act as an envoy on behalf of the government towards the mega-corporation. It was an unusual situation where the corporation was worth more than the country's wealth. He was there to make the case that the corporation should endow the government an annual sum of money to assist it in transition out of poverty. He suspected he was on a failed mission so was shocked when the corporation asked for only minor revisions to the request.
As the RecToR walked into the church he heard a distinct snort from the harvest festival display area. Quickly he made his way there to discover a pig with a piece of fruit from the display in its mouth. He was horrified and managed to shoo the creature away and down into the crypt. He could then summon help to get it evicted and back where it belonged. But he was dreading calling Monica to explain what had happened to her display and asking her to repair it.
Andrew was about to secretly eat a jam doughnut during the lecture. "I'd sure love to smack my lips and then take a big bite, but I don't want to draw attention", he thought. The lecturer was droning on about the detailed structure of a female gonad and Andrew had already lost the plot. So as not to draw attention to himself, instead of taking big bites he decided to spawn the doughnut into little pieces that he could surreptitiously sneak into his mouth. At the end of the lecture he felt cheated of his doughnut and went back to the doughnut shack to get another one. With two doughnuts in him he was so full of energy that he ran the 3 miles back to his flat in record time. However, by the time he got there the sugar had all been used up and he started to feel a bit shaky. Recognising what was happening, he had some more sensible food and started trying to catch up on the lecture subject matter.
Today was her househoLd chorEs day. The best part was the ironing because the smell of the newly ironed items brought back memories of her happy childhood. (She had to take care when ironing the voile to make sure the delicate fabric didn't get damaged.) She was glad to sit down to lunch at the end of a busy morning - today it was a bean chile with rice noodles. When the youngsters got back from school she had to use all the guile she could summon to get them to knuckle down to their homework and music practice before they slumped in front of a screen.
The Reverend's wife sAw hEr opportunity when the Reverend was scheduled to be away on a four-day conference. She'd been fed up of the dreary looking manse for years and had secretively arranged for the decorators to move in and transform it inside and out. When the Reverend returned he stopped in his tracks at the sight of the bright blue house. The off-white downstairs rooms dazzled him and he couldn't imagine sleeping in the mauve bedroom. When his wife returned from the bring and buy sale she was grinning from ear to ear at the dumbfounded look on her husband's face. "Whatever will the finance committee say", he kept muttering. Conversation between them was tense for the next couple of weeks as he became accustomed to the transformation.
CArlos had had a happy childhood. His parents loved him despite their humble resources. That's not to say that he didn't have the occasional spank when he was out of line, but these taught him well to differentiate right from wrong. Now he was a late-twenties businessman walking briskly down the street sipping his mocha on his way in to work. His phone pinged and Carlos stopped to read the message from Momma. He dashed off a quick reply, then got going again. His Momma did the same every morning - for her it was almost a part of her dogma. But Carlos didn't mind - he loved his Momma.
