1380 - QUOTA

The cAT sat on the mat
With a stain on its hat
The mouse took off
With quite a cough
Here's your quota of fat

René Descat

1379 - SORRY

OscaR was the scion of his very famous parents. But Oscar was not very ambitious and just wanted to retreat from the public eye. His parents nagged him every day to make something of his life. Today he'd had enough. "Sorry, but I've had enough; I'm off to Canada to tour the country and find a place for me to settle and build my own life." And with that he picked up his bags and got into the waiting taxi.

Oscar finding his way in life in Canada

1378 - VERSE

ThE two mates weRe walking to the poetry reading event. One of them made a snide remark that the other took offense at. He gave him a shove and his mate landed up in a gorse bush. "Owwww!". "I'm sorry, I seem to have over-reacted. Let me help you up. Fortunately I have a small cruse of healing oil here." With the soothing oil applied, the hurt friend did up the morse on his cape since staying still to be helped had chilled him off. Eventually they got their destination and enjoyed the various types of verse that were well presented.

Gorse in the right place looks lovely, but don't fall into it

1377 - ELBOW

The new sheLf was up and thE lovely smell from the kitchen meant dinner was imminent. He looked back at his DIY and was disappointed to see there was a gradual cline of the shelf as one fixing slowly pulled away from the wall. He just managed to catch it before it clattered to the floor, neatly trapping one bit with his elbow. "Rectifying this is a job for after dinner", he thought.

Oh dear!

1376 - SHELF

It had been a LovEly cruise, but as they walked in the front door there was a dreadful smell that brought them back to the everyday with a bump. The search quickly revealed a dead rat on the shelf in the kitchen; maggots were everywhere. It wasn't the day they'd expected to round off their holiday!

Urrgh

1375 - ANGLE

Benjamin LAmEnted his current state. Although he looked like a free man, he was in essence a slave, either working hard or locked in his sub-standard accommodation. Although he didn't have a chain around his ankle, it might as well have been there as from whatever angle he looked at his situation, he was trapped. But one day it all changed when Lord Sugar bought the organisation Benjamin was working for and Benjamin was redeployed as a development manager with enormous (to Benjamin) salary.

You're Hired!

1374 - DOPEY

JakE's room mate, Gerry, was the noisy, jokey sort of guy that rubbed Jake up the wrong way. Whenever Gerry came in, Jake groaned and became all mopey. Gerry was the dominant bogey in his life. That is, until Jake met Jane. She brightened up his life, often taking him out dancing. One evening they found themselves doing the Hokey Pokey (aka hokey cokey), with much laughter. Gerry was initially mystified at Jake's transformation, but it didn't take long before he found out why Jake was no longer dopey.

Jake and Jane enjoyed the Hokey Pokey

1373 - AMBLE

LArry was lamEmting his predicament. It was hard work in the shale quarry. As the sun beat down on him he wished he could slake his thirst more often. But as a slave with his ankle chained, taking an amble to the drinks station was not an option. Just then the police arrived and detained the quarry owners cum slave masters and before long he was released and he joined the queue at the drinks station along with his fellow ex-slaves.

It was hard work for Larry and the others

1372 - NUDGE

ThE child's toy was so infuriating with the vibrating noise it made. Mum was always keen to be elsewhere for as long as she could. Unfortunately today, the toy would nudge the flower vase time after time and a disaster was narrowly avoided as Mum came back in the room and caught the falling vase as it fell off the tabletop.

Mum just caught the vase in time

1370 - BASTE

"It's high time you ATE some food", said Emily to Gerry. "But I've lost my sense of taste and everything I eat tastes like paste", retorted Gerry. "Well, try this - and don't eat it in so much haste", said Emily. "Do I have to? This TV program about the different types of caste in traditional Hindu society is very interesting", moaned Gerry trying to get out of it. "Ok, then", said Emily, "stay there and I'll bring a batch of taster foods for you to try. If you eat them whilst watching the TV, you might not notice them when they taste bland. Meanwhile, I will cook a roast chicken for the rest of us. I'll just have to stay here and baste it from time to time. The rest of the housework will just have to pile up." Gerry hadn't heard a word as he was engrossed in his program once more!

Emily basting the chicken for the fourth time

1369 - SPARK

The luxury yAcht had dRopped anchor and the owners were enjoying themselves in the warm turquoise water. But then there was a shout from the boat crew - "Get on board, get on board. There's a shark approaching." There was a great scurrying as the guests scrambled abord just in time. Once they were aboard, one of the crew got out the shark repellent pole which sent a spark of electricity into the water to momentarily stun the shark. After that, the shark turned tail and disappeared.

It wasn't long before there were many sharks around the yacht

1368 - TIMER

ThE teacherR was trying to steer the children towards thinking outside of the norm. Each child had a tuber (potato, sweet potato, or cassava). The teacher said that they had three hours to do something unusual with it. Various bits of equipment or resources were available to add to it. One child decided to make a printing block and use the ink from a discarded toner cartridge which they'd managed to disassemble. Another child turned it into a tower resembling the Eiffel Tower. There were a few other good ones finished by the time the three hour timer went off.

The best design for those that made potato prints

1367 - LASSO

The cLowns were in the circus ring. As they did their act, everyone started to laugh and the place got very noisy. The climax was when one clown tried to lasso the other and kept tripping over the rope or getting it caught around parts of the tent or one of the props. The kids and parents loved it.

One of the clowns tried this before doing the lasso tricks

1366 - STAMP

AlThough of humble origins, Ganymede's parents had hoped to raise themselves by so naming their son! Ganymede (Gan for short) had been pushed by his parents to always toady himself to school teachers, university lecturers, and employers in the hope of getting preferential treatment. But then Gan realised that he was effectively a puppet of his parents and decided to stamp out this habit in his life (easier said than done) and try to be more sociable and 'normal'. He went as far as changing his name to Frank, started dating and became more popular amongst his peers!

Gan (now Frank) having a good time with his mates

1365 - LADLE

"Come on, you can't sit there pLAying all day. Pack away thE toy soldiers including that lance that seems to be glued to your hand, and then come and ladle out the soup", said Dad, authoritatively.

Boy absorbed in playing with toy soldiers

1364 - PIECE

"ThE noise you make moving around this house is unbelievable", said Mum. "It's high time someone took you to task to imbue a sense of decorum about how to behave appropriately." Although Daughter knew Mum was right, she didn't let on and clomped off back to her room. A week later she took it upon herself to have some etiquette lessons which she rather enjoyed. It took a couple of weeks or so before Mum noticed that her daughter no longer disrupted the house and was even more shocked when one evening, quite unannounced, her daughter brought her a G&T and a piece of cheesecake with a strawberry on top and cream drizzled over it.

The Cheesecake

1363 - CHASE

"Surely it cAn't bE pease pudding again", groaned Christopher. "Yesterday my friend had what sounded like a yummy roast chicken dinner." (See 1362 - MANGO) "Your friend must be better off", replied Mum, "The only way we can afford a chicken dinner is if you chase one and catch it, then prepare it!"

Pease Puddding 😋

1362 - MANGO

It was A noisy night with the wind howling and the rain lashing and a loose window shutter was banging. She was glad there was some food in the house to bring together a meal. They all enjoyed their capon with roast spuds, carrots and peas followed by mango with double cream and wafer.

The roast 😋

1361 - TRACK

Aiden was keen To help in the kitchen. "Can I make the gRavy today, Mum", he oozed. "Ok," said Mum, cautiously. Aiden got some water in the saucepan and was just about to start heating it when Mum spotted how much water he'd put in there. "Oh Aiden dear, that's rather a lot of water. You've got about a quart there, but we only need about a pint at the most. But we won't have to abort what you've started - we can tip half of it away." Suitably corrected Aiden enjoyed making the gravy whilst Mum prepared the rest of the roast dinner. Although a tad risky, Mum allowed Aiden to set up his Brio on the dinner table and to let a small train take the gravy boat to each family member on the Brio track. Aiden went to bed happy that night; Mum was glad there were no spillages despite expecting them at any moment throughout the meal!

Aiden busy making the gravy

1359 - GREED

ThE Raspberries seemed to ripen all at the same time and Gareth wanted to scoff the lot. But he had to knuckle down and recite the creed to perfection before he was allowed outside. He kept thinking about the raspberries which made him forget where he was and he kept having to start again. Somehow he managed it eventually and he was freed get outside where he headed straight to the raspberries. He'd not long started on his aim to eat the lot, when Father Ted approached and spoke sharply to Gareth. "Greed, Gareth, greed - it's a sin. I expect to hear your confession shortly", chastised Father Ted. It pained Gareth to walk away from such a feast.

Gareth getting all the raspberries he could find - until...

1358 - NAVEL

Roger LAmEnted his actions. Taking a gun with him had been stupid. As he sat in the holding cell, he realised that the consequences he faced today paled into insignificance in comparison with those of shooting his colleague. Eventually he was taken up into the court and was asked how he pleaded to the charge of threatening with an offensive weapon. "Guilty" was his response and a murmur sounded through the courtroom. The judge banged his hazel wood gavel down and called out "Order". Roger looked down at where his navel was, in shame and remorse, as the sentence was pronounced. It would be some years before he could try to rebuild a normal sort of life.

Roger adopted a suitable pose!

1357 - TROOP

"TherRe is no point in denying it, Private Hoskin", said the Sergeant Major, "you've been a good sport being locked into the stocks and having the rest of the troop throw wet sponges at you. Together, we've raised £500 for a worthy cause today. Private Hoskin, you can have a day's extra leave in thanks.

Private Hoskin enduring the wet sponges

1356 - ALERT

He LAmenTEd Remaining alert for so long - now he was too tired to stay awake and eat some breakfast!

Too tired to eat!

1355 - SCRUM

Why did he agRee to spending the night camping on a night like this? It was rough in the extreme and cold and damp featured a lot in the darkness! He was so glad when morning came and he could unrip the Velcro, get into the house, put on some furry slippers and heavy dressing gown and crouch down by a hot radiator. Although a tad unusual, curry for breakfast was perfect for warming him up, which he ate watching the rugby. Seeing others in the cold and damp in the scrum made the return to normal all the more special. "I won't volunteer to raise money for charity like that again", he said to his wife.

Rugby scrum

1354 - CHECK

ThEre was a strange noise coming from the weedy patch of ground next to the car park. Council workers were sent to investigate and check if something was amiss. They discovered it was a family of meerkats making burrows underground. The news was a sensation, especially as the car park was in Cornwall!

The noise came from the meerkats

1353 - SPEAR

The AERonautical engineer was calculating the shear forces on the wing of the aircraft. It was a tedious lengthy process. Suddenly he looked up and gasped "I could swear that was a spear overtaking our aeroplane - how can that be?"! Then, with a snort he woke up and tidied up his calculations which had got all messed up when he'd drifted off to sleep. His colleagues didn't comment - they'd all been through a similar lapse at one time or another.

The tedious work sent him to sleep

1352 - DEITY

ThE operation to put in the stent went well and the famous singer recovered well. It was only a few days before she left the hospital and it was quite a scene. The gleaming white Rolls Royce drew up and she walked on the red carpet towards it, her fans cheering and whooping. It was as if a deity was being paraded and all its followers performed their rituals.

The white Rolls Royce ready for the famous singer

1351 - HOVER

ThERe was a small snick in her blouse. "Bother - I'll have to defer getting dressed until I can mend that", she fussed. She had just started when a golden eagle alighted on the bough of the tree in her garden. She froze, needle in mid hover over the blouse as she gaped and gazed at the beautiful, yet vicious bird.

The golden eagle

1350 - FUZZY

It was very noisy in one area of the office as a bunch of colleagues were trying to decide if their latest product range was good to go or not. "It's yucky", remarked one, whilst another oozed "it's yummy". One yuppy was quite bemused and remarked "Has this got rum in it - I reckon a few of these could make me feel quite muggy". "It seems to explode in my mouth making it all puffy", remarked another. The project manager by now was quite huffy. "This is such a muddy situation - I feel such a chump attempting to launch this. Right everyone - lunch is cancelled and it's back to work. Let's have no more fuzzy ideas, but thoroughly tested old favourite-based offerings."

Discussing the new product range