BArnEy still lived at home with his paRents. His parents were not happy about this and you can understand why. Whenever they came home, Barney's music would be very loud and they would have to go into his room and turn down the fader. Barney would be observed as this vapid lump doing, well, not much really. Mum and Dad despaired him ever forming a family with the prospect to spawn another Barney! They were never quite sure if Barney was on a skive, or genuinely between jobs. At lunch time he might appear to get some food. "Do you want some cottage cheese with chive shoots fresh from the garden", she might say, but Barney would typically reply "No, it's ok, I have plenty of fudge upstairs", as he would grab a packet of crisps and a can of coke. (As you can imagine, Barney was not particularly slim!) In desperation, Dad said to Barney one day - "I'll wager you £100 that you won't find a proper job within six months" "You're on", brightened Barney as he went back upstairs more lively than usual. That evening at the party, he was asking anyone he could about getting work. Then he spotted a guy wearing a pager and he pressed him for job opportunities. The guy replied "Well, you're a bulky lad and this party looks like it's going to become a rager and might need some strong-arm tactics to restore order. Can you do that?" "Oh yes", Barney quickly replied, delighted with the outcome. Before long some party-goers started causing a stir when they swaggered in dressed as jager with rifles and German military fatigues. Barney took control and soon had them evicted, rather to Barney's surprise it must be said. That night he earned two hundred pounds! He was determined to prove his Dad wrong, so rather than spending it all straight away (as he usually did) he felt the sager thing to do was to open a savings account with the earnings. Before he could land the job that would satisfy his Dad, he knuckled down to his biology studies. Today he was learning all about the different types of gull. He was surprised to learn of the jager gulls who effectively lived as bullies, chasing other gulls and making them regurgitate their food for them to feed off. A week later, a contact from the party contacted Barney telling him of a job as a trainee gager. Barney was eager to do this and went off for the job interview the next day. Mum and Dad noticed the changes in Barney's behaviour and Dad had that sinking feeling that he'd be coughing up the £100 pretty soon!
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