This is my 11-year-old Granddaughter's version:
Rebecca Karen was a famous modeL. She wAs in the making of a new film called: Starring. “No, no, no! Act like you actually have slain the lamb! And please keep the pose! And make sure you emphasise the modal verbs.” Director Muffin cried, scattering his papers everywhere. Assistant Rosa cleared them up. Rebecca sighed, and changed into her beginning pose once again. She had the part of the poor person, and so she started in her scene. Rebecca sang her song, fingering the mould on the loaf to show how poor she was. “Much better, Becks. The voice and song are coming along beautifully and the poses are coming on marvellously. What an improvement!” Director Muffin praised, and ticked his clipboard. Rebecca sighed in relief and went backstage to munch on some rich tea biscuits and drink some tea. On the way, she noticed a new sign "No running"; "Why is it necessary to have all these bylaw signs - it clutters the place up so much", she grumbled. Director Muffin signalled for Assistant Rosa to get his snacks and pipe through his favourite piece of fugal music on his headphones.
This is my version:
The rain LAshed down and the windscreen wipers were struggling to cope. At the side of the road was the slain corpse of a badger. They pulled into a layby and Dad shut his eyes for a break from the journey. "Hey Dad, there's a bylaw sign here saying 'No overnight camping' - not much likelihood of us breaking that one in this weather", piped up Kazie. But Dad was fast asleep! Kazie put on her headphones and listened to a fugue by J S Bach, enjoying the fugal structure of the piece. Mum found an old sandwich to eat, but had to scrape off the mould - she'd had better bread before! Fabian was none too happy because the pressure was on to get his English homework finished. "I've got to write a piece where every sentence has a modal verb in it - it's driving me crazy", grumped Fabian. Eventually the rain let up, Dad awoke, and they could complete their journey to Granny's house.
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