This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:
WhiLe NorA and CaRla waited for the tourist boat to arrive, they stared at the mural on the wall which was 3m away. It had a picture of a women scuba diving and seeing creatures and coral under the sea. “The boat is late!” called mum looking at her watch. “Hey!”, exclaimed Carla to Nora, “remember that new girl? The one who doesn’t speak English well but her aural comprehension is good?” They chattered about her until the boat arrived.
This is my version:
The famiLy were on holidAy in a lovely waRm climate by the sea. One day they visited a large lagoon. Whilst the others sat on the loungers, reading, sleeping or playing an electronic game, Laura hired some snorkelling equipment and went to explore the lagoon. She loved the pretty coral. After she'd gone away from shore a distance, she paused swimming and just took in, not only the visual, but also the aural scene. She was surprised at what she heard. She wasn't sure, but could that have been the faint sound of distant whales calling each other? Once their relaxing and stimulating holiday was over and the everyday activities had returned, Laura decided to make time to create a mural on her bedroom wall depicting the underwater scene she'd so much enjoyed in the lagoon.
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