This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:
One day, on ThE tenth of December, a great hustle was going on. There was an event tomorrow and that was all everyone could talk about. Unexpectedly, Danny (my little brother) had a problem with his heart. He was so poorly that he had to go to hospital. They did an operation and put a stent in for his heart. The doctors say they need to keep him in for 2 more days! That means Danny has to miss the festival! He was very disappointed. On the next day, I spent so much money! First on hotdogs, then I spend it on the bouncy castle, then I spent it on games stall. I won a chick and a football (for Danny because I felt bad for him).
This is my version:
ThE athlete was showing his age. Others were starting to come ahead of him in competitions. He was diagnosed with kidney problems and the consultant advised him that before long he would need to have a stent inserted into each artery supplying blood to them. But he had already entered into another competition. Come the day, he came in tenth in the event and soon after agreed to have the operation. Having spent his younger years in professional athletics, he wandered what he would devote himself to next.
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