1471 - WITTY

There once was a graceful airplane
That went super sonic with flame
There was no horde
On board Concorde
Just a witty comic from Spain

Concorde

1470 - STUMP

The traffic was dreadful. After queuing for ages, the head of the queue was very noisy as the workmen tried to free the stuck crashed car from the wall. Once passed the obstruction they could carry on on their journey. They pulled into a diner for lunch. "This will have to be a quick meal because of the delays back there. So stuff yourselves once I stump up the exorbitant price they charge here"

They were queueing for ages

1469 - PLAIN

Now that the rat had at LAst been slain, it was time to do some baking. Half a pound of caster sugar, butter, plain flour, four eggs, 4 teaspoons of baking powder plus a pinch of salt, elbow grease and a hot oven and hey presto - a Victoria sponge cake!

Victoria sponge cake

1468 - OFFER

ThE landowneR watched as the herd of bison stampeded by. He called for his gofer to go out in the pickup and scrape up as much of the bison dung as he could to be used for fertiliser on the vegetables in the landowner's garden. The gofer wasn't paid very much and he never had an offer of any of the lovely vegetables that were grown. As soon as he could find better employment, he was off!

The bison stampede passed by

1467 - COMFY

Mum and Dad were feeling ousted. Leon's room was almost always noisy, even after midnight as he played video games with his mates around the world with the sound directed to his HiFi speakers (rather than to his headphones). When teased out of his room he would then be moody and would only go and make himself comfy on the settee with the TV on to watch one of his violent films. Mum and Dad had to go out frequently to get away from the atmosphere, wondering what could be done.

Leon slumped on sofa

1466 - ELITE

Jasper LoThEd the flute practice of his younger sister. So when she started, Jasper went out into the garden to look at what was growing there. He made it his business to get to know the various plants growing there. At present it was great as he could pick a few berries from the strawberry blite plant and enjoy them along with a spearmint leaf or two. When he grew up, he joined the army and was picked to train for the elite commando unit. He was never able to tell his family what he was doing.

Strawberry blite

1465 - ODDLY

It was reaLly noisy outside with such blowy weather. But oddly enough, it was quite soothing and soporific and she soon fell fast asleep.

It was blowy weather outside

1464 - THRUM

The fouR friends were playing bridge. But Mary couldn't understand why the bridge room was so noisy. She held off as long as she could, but had to give in and investigate. "What's all the noise in here; bridge is a quiet game", she asked. "Well, we thought we'd liven it up a bit. So when anyone takes a trick using a trump, we play the next bit of this music on the tape where the thrum of the balalaika and the drumming of the drum kit present a suitable backdrop to the event.

They'd livened up their regular game of bridge

1463 - GLADE

The LAbradour rushEd into the woods and started digging furiously. Within five minutes it dug up a shank bone and rushed back to its owner. The owner went to the digging site and sat down in the glade whilst he phoned the police. And so another episode of Morse started.

The Labradour dug

1462 - TAUPE

Her plATE was bare apart from some tomato paste. It seemed to be all she was being presented with to eat that night. And with the plate being a dull taupe colour, her interest in supper was severely diminished.

The taupe-coloured plate didn't enhance the meagre portion

1461 - CURIO

"WheRe is that noisy racket coming from", said Bill as he headed outside. He was surprised to see a nine foot high droid walking down the pavement. It was scary, especially as Bill had no idea what the droid would be doing next. But the droid just stopped mid stride and fell over with a great clatter. The owner rushed up to it and struggled to get it upright again. He then had to wind up the clockwork before setting it off again. Bill relaxed. It was no longer a sinister object but a mechanical curio that would never amount to much because of having to tend to it so frequently.

The droid curio

1460 - MUNCH

Frank hadn't read the office email about today explaining it would be a dress down day. So when he arrived at the office in his suit he was surprised at the noisy atmosphere and the weird and funny outfits his colleagues were wearing. "You didn't read the email did you", quipped his colleague, "here have a glass of punch and loosen up". Cautiously, Frank loosened his tie, picked up a glass and started to unwind. Just then the nibbles were brought out and the workers started to munch on them.

Then the nibbles were brought out

1459 - PRANK

The cARpet salesman spread out an array of samples for the young couple to choose from. They were quite engrossed in the choosing process and forgot to keep an eye on their two-year-old son Logan. All of a sudden there was a crash as one of the carpet sample displays was pushed over by Logan. As Logan recoiled from the spot he stumbled into another display and, prang, over went that one too. "What sort of prank do you think you are up to causing mayhem in here?", moaned the fed-up salesman. He'd had enough of customers that day. Needless to say, he didn't sell any carpet to that couple!

The carpet stands before Logan got to them

1458 - PETTY

"You've TakEn more than half butter - put some back", moaned Gill. "No I haven't", retorted Edith. "Stop squabbling over the butter ladies - I'll get you some more for your scone", pleaded Gavin as he went to the fridge to get some. "What was all that about?", asked Mike. "Just another petty squabble between those two. They're good friends really, but they do have these rows from time to time", explained Gavin.

There was plenty of butter for them both

1457 - QUAIL

ELi cAlled Zach's attention - "Get ready to take up the slack on the net. Here come the quail again. It's amazing how they turn up regular as a sand-timer. I wonder what recipe we'll use with them for supper tonight." (Exodus 13:16) "Definitely cardamom in our tent, replied Zach." "It'll be ginger and coriander in ours", responded Eli.

In the evening quail descended on the camp

1456 - GHOST

Because iT was so noisy that night, the ghost struggled to find anyone to frighten because everyone was distracted by the noise.

The ghost had to give up trying to frighten people that night

1455 - BILGE

"ALl aboard ThE Brighton Belle", shouted the station guard as passengers scurried to find their seats in time. The platform was heaving, but before long the bulge of people and luggage shrank. The guard blew his whistle and the train was off on its journey. Several of the passengers then embarked on a pleasure boat trip. What they were unaware of was the problems among the crew as they struggled to keep the bottom of the boat free of water since the bilge pump was on the point of failing.

The Brighton Belle at speed

1454 - VIXEN

ThEre was a flash of blue as Sonic the Hedgehog shot past, not noticing Miles the fox cub who pined for Mum. But it needn't have worried as the vixen soon returned with a tasty morsel for the cub to chew on.

Sonic and Miles

1453 - PLAID

"I'm sure LArry said 'I shall bring some beer to the get-together' - so where is he", said Gabriel, feeling embarrassed. Just then there was a clang in the passageway to the front door, followed by a clank as something heavier met concrete. The mates all looked at each other with a blank look until Gabriel thought he'd better take a look. There in the pathway was Larry, wearing a garish plaid suit, crumpled on the floor surrounded by beer cans, some of which were empty.

Larry before he bought the beers

1452 - TAFFY

BryAn T Stoneway clutched his airline ticket and passport with a haunt look. His visit to his company's associates in Cornwall had gone well enough, apart from having to eat the Cornish pasty and then to pretend he'd liked it so as not to offend. He was longing to be back on US soil where he could buy some proper taffy and head for a hotcake house and get a stack laden with crispy bacon and maple syrup.

Bryan had this fixated in his mind as he made his way back home to the US

1451 - BOARD

The AiRport security guard heard a loud crash as the villain attempted to avoid the safety check in. The guard was straight onto him and was able to unarm the villain quickly. "You're not going on board sonny, it's off to the clink with you", barked the guard as he led away the handcuffed villain.

Out came the handcuffs

1450 - LEASE

"Let's see whAt happEns if we leach some of the colour our of the warp threads then proceed as usual, joining the waft threads at the lease." After weaving the cloth it produced an interesting, though not ground-breaking cloth. "I'm not sure the extra leaching step is worth it, but I'll see what I can do with this unique piece of cloth.

The warp threads gathered at the lease

1449 - REUSE

MothER to son: "How is it you've fallen into a gorse bush again so soon? I will have to prise each thorn out, so hold still" The son just whimpered as Mum methodically dealt with the aftermath. "I'm going to reuse these thorns to make a table decoration. Just make sure you don't trip and put your hand onto it", she warned.

The gorse thorns before son fell into the bush

1448 - EDIFY

ThE headteacher surveyed the scene. The children were running around with screams of joy as the sun shone cheerily down on them. Except there was a lone child sitting in a corner looking very weepy. The headteacher talked to her to find out what the matter was. "Today our old dog is being put down and she won't be there when I get home.", she sobbed. "Tell me some of the fun times you've had with her", said the headteacher. After a lot of talking the child ran off to join in with her friends. The headteacher felt pleased that she'd been able to edify the girl, even though it meant she was going to be late leaving because of the time she'd spent.

The tearful child needed edifying

1447 - DATUM

George And Mildred Burr, who did noT have any scion, became famous for discovering in 1929 the importance of having fatty acids in the diet to ensure health. Today the datum levels recommended include consuming a minimum of 0.2% of total energy from omega-3 fatty acids (ALA) and 1% from omega-6 fatty acids (LA), along with ensuring that the majority of your fat intake comes from monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. I hope that's clear to you. (Thanks Gemini!)

George Burr

1446 - CEASE

Little Oli could be quite Annoying sometimEs. Today his older brother, Jimmy, was so infuriated that he said he'd teach Oli a lesson, and set off to chase after him. Jimmy was surprised at how quickly Oli could run now and before long he had to admit defeat and to cease from his pursuit as he was out of breath. Jimmy turned round and went back home, but poor Oli had gone further from home than he'd ever been before and it took him two hours to work out how to get back home. His parents were relieved and cross in about equal measure when he eventually turned up!

Oli was getting away from Jimmy

1445 - ADMIN

The unusAl chasm that had appeared overnight in the window making factory made life difficult among the workers. No longer could they take the usual routes to get from one place to another, but they had to take circuitous routes. In particular, the admin team were not at all happy to find workers carrying big window frames through their offices. Poor Mary was having to jump up many times a day to open and close the door for the workers.

We'll have to take this via the admin office

1444 - PREEN

ThE woRldly curate was dreading taking the next service as she was so out of touch with things. Although she forced herself to re-learn the creed, her heart was not in it. As for practicing the other parts of the service, she haphazardly rehearsed what she could remember as she set about to preen herself, which, to her, was far more interesting!

Caption

1443 - ROUGH

Rich took his golfing irons onto his favourite course. He realised it was not going to be his day when his first ball went into the rough.

Getting the first ball in the rough was not a good start

1442 - HABIT

AT first, she thought it was the taste of the new herbs she'd added to the food. But then she realised there was an taint of something that was definitely off. She hated to throw out the whole batch of food or even to give it to the dog, as was her habit, for fear of poisoning anyone. Perhaps it would be suitable to do battle with the local rats!

Maybe the off food can poison the rats