1563 - CIVIL

They could aLl see the irony. For someone as obese as he was, having the role of lipid overseer did seem incongruous. But he was determined to see what he could do about his weight. He resigned his post and spent weeks on end keeping a vigil in the cathedral pondering. He ate nothing and drank only water. The cathedral staff were concerned, but he assured them he knew what he was doing. Eventually he left, holding up his trousers, and headed to Next to get a new wardrobe for the new man he'd become. He expected all his friends to make fun of his transformation, but they were all very civil and respected his transformation.

He lost a lot of weight

1562 - GOOEY

ThEre is an irony here where the CEO of the adhesive manufacturer finishes up with a gooey mess on his fine suit.

His fine suit had a gooey mess on it

1561 - FRITZ

The pickup lorry driver groaned as a call came in to rescue a stranded motorist. He donned his Hi-Viz waterproofs. It wasn't very nice weather outside. The pickup was only 8 miles away as the seagull flies, but the coastline was so convoluted that the distance he had to take was more like 30. To his horror he glanced at the fuel gauge to realise he wasn't going to make the whole journey. The irony hit him hard as he rounded the head of yet another frith and the gauge read empty. He pulled in to a layby before the engine would fritz. The phone signal in the region was so intermittent that he had to climb the steep hill to report his predicament. It would be a long night!

If only it was like this!

1560 - DALLY

CorporAL Simpson displayed his medals with pride being keen to tell anyone that asked how he'd won the best one for valor. But now that he was demobbed, he had to build a new life. Pride in his achievements wouldn't pay the supermarket bills. He discussed it with his wife. "Should I train as a plumber or an electrician, I can't decide." "Well, I expect you'll work it out - it wouldn't be like you to dally over a decision like that." A week later was his first electrician's training day.

His electrician's training was going well

1559 - DRAPE

The AftErnoon was drear. Even the ceramic flight of drake looked sad! There was nothing to be done but to pull the drape, light the fire and watch the telly.

The afternoon was quite drear

1558 - BLUNT

She wanted to sLice Through some carrots to make an attractive dish. She picked up the knife that had a lovely glint on it. But it was deceptive - the knife was quite blunt.

The blunt knife was no good for cutting up the carrots

1557 - MOUTH

The irony of the situation was not lost on him. Here he was, a newly qualified dentist, and here in the dentist's chair was his dental school tutor. Wearing a mask meant that his patient didn't recognise him. He'd better not botch this job, he told himself! It felt really weird asking his patient to open his mouth wide!

The dentist felt a heap of responsibility treating this patient