Judge Jeremy wAs in his seventies and enjoying his work. But there was a cloud - although his mind was very sharp and his voice authoritative, his body had started to get shaky. He realised he was aging and knew it was time to hang up his gown and wig for the last time. His hearing also bothered him and he would try to avoid loud situations. He frequently asked the restaurant managers to turn down the audio so he could enjoy his meal, and the managers didn't mess with Judge Jeremy!
FrAnkiE frequently went to the Races where he would put a wager on whichever horse he fancied. His brother was perturbed at the debts that were mounting up and told Frankie that it would be safer to put his money into a high interest saver account. Eventually Frankie took his advice and took up employment at a stables so he could pay off his debts. He was able to learn to ride horses as well. Eventually he built up his skills and became a pacer for a star horse. He became very familiar with the leather tackle that the horses used and could spot a faker salesman quickly. Every autumn he would get the waxer out to treat the leather to protect it for the winter. Occasionally he had to set up an ancient horse-drawn carriage complete with candle lights which would waver terribly despite the protective glass surrounding it. One day his pager went off and it was his mate letting him know that the ice-cream van was outside. "I'll have a vanilla wafer please", he said to the ice-cream maker who was a bit of a scamp. When he produced the wafer there was a single caper on top of the ice-cream. "It's the latest trend", he said to Frankie, but Frankie was not convinced. It tasted nice though!
It was WinTER and the snowfall had been significant. Outside there was an eerie silence as the snow deadened the usual hubbub. Tommy made a trite remark to his mother about not having to go to school today because of the snow. In a trice she gave him a clip round the ear and said "We still need our food. If you're not at school you can get on your trike and go and get us some milk, potatoes, cabbage, tripe and onions. With a sulk he set off and dreamt of being king of a jungle tribe where he could boss his mother around. But reality kicked in when he got back home and he was made to write a long essay on a boring subject that his teacher had set. However he did get to build a superb snowman after he'd finished his schoolwork using a wonky carrot that the shopkeeper couldn't sell.
He wAs a couch potato and hE was out of shape. He decided to take up running, something his 7-year-old daughter loved doing. To begin with, keeping apace with her was impossible. But after a while he could and his weight had dropped loads. Now he could go to bed at peace with himself at night.
ARnold was the largest donor to the city's music society. There were other minor donors too, but Arnold made sure he could always boast of being the largest. He always had pride of place and received his own applause whenever there was a concert performance or the annual choir competition.
In the AftErnoon, Simon sunned himself on the cruise liner's deck. After a while the heat became too much and he retreated to the shade inside. As he walked past one door with frosted glass, he was alarmed by the shape of what looked like someone having the living daylights beaten out of them. Then he read the sign above the door and realised it was only a baker preparing the next batch of dough. He hadn't realised that someone would actually knead the dough, thinking it would all be done by machine. He made his way back up to the walkways and gazed out on the ocean, just letting his mind wander. He felt grateful for the hard work of the staff helping him enjoy his trip; he felt more generous about the size of the tip he had planned to give at the end of the cruise.
Ronald the hunter was looking for rhino in the Open rocky terrain. But the rhinos didn't need to worry because they never went there. They went about their lives practicing their horny manoeuvres in case Ronald or his like approached. Although Ronald was a useless hunter he had a foreby knack of making up wordy hunting stories which boasted of near misses, but which fooled no one.
[Not one, but two yarns today. Thank you to my brother for accepting the challenge of writing a yarn too!]
[First, my brother's yarn]
It was a dark and stormy night and thE King said to Antonio "HeRe! Press me some more grapes”. Antonio pulled up his baggy crepe sleeves and set to with the grape press - great for pressing grapes but making an eerie sound in the process. The time had come (after the king had removed his fingers from his ears) to serve the grape juice - an elaborate process which required some nerve on the behalf of Antonio! The king insisted the gold cup with the juice was served to his lips whilst the attendant crouched down on one knee. (Two previous attendants had been relegated to kitchen duties after spilling juice down the King’s beard.) After a successful serving Antonio moved back to merge into the long curtains awaiting his next call, feeling he was on the verge of success. Antonio was vying to be appointed as chief steward; any slip ups now could be a serious setback to his ambitions! As he stood by the curtains he realised that to achieve his goal he needed more than an absence of errors - he needed to add verve to his duties. 😀
[Now my yarn]
ThE tennis couRts were packed; the press were there. As they waited, everyone in the audience enjoyed the crepe and smashed avocado they'd been given on arrival. There was an eerie silence as the favourite player prepared to serve. Would she hold her nerve, they all thought. She served - not an ace, but hard to return. Then there was a flurry of activity as running and returning the ball seemed to merge into an elegant dance routine. Everyone thought their favourite was on the verge of winning the game, but her opponent was also vying for the prize and wouldn't let up. Both players were playing with tremendous verve and it was unclear who would win. At the end, not only both players were exhausted, but most of the crowd as well!
ShE chose to give him Old Spice for Christmas.
JonAh had his mind on Escape, but the chase was on. His energy was being drained. In desperation he grabbed a peach from the tree as he ran . But his options were running out and, as he found himself on the beach, he was trapped. At the last second a huge fish grabbed him and swallowed him whole. After what seemed like an age he was spewed up on a different beach. He was free from the chase.
TuEsday had been another failure in his attempt to walk the tightrope across his garden in 30 seconds. He went to bed exhausted and frustrated. He decided he'd have to admit defeat. But in spite of himself, the next morning he determined to try again, the tenth day he'd devoted himself to it. "Oh don't attempt that again", said his wife. But he was testy and, saying nothing, carried on. This went on day after day and developed into a theme. Eventually these contentious clashes were too much and she could bear it no longer and threw him out. She advertised for a guest to board with her and recycled the tightrope on freecycle. Being thrown out was the best thing to happen to him. His obsession with the tightrope had no outlet and instead his new quest was to make amends and get back together with his beloved. He discovered that no one had taken up the offer of accommodation, so he applied himself (under a pseudonym). When he came for the interview with her he brought flowers, a lovely card and a huge box of expensive chocolates. It wasn't long before they were back together.
Roger wAs astonished at the sight. The stranger spoke to him. "This notice saith 'Railway Station'. What pray is that?", he spake unto Roger. (To Roger's eyes he was a wacky looking guy and the sight of the strange wagon he'd got out of didn't help. He had appeared like magic from nowhere. His tunic was all saggy and his trousers baggy.) "Who are you", exclaimed Roger, in some consternation. "I am a magus from Bayaz in ancient Persia, and I findeth myself in these settings that are strange to me whenever I attempteth a particular ritual", replied the magus. "Why, only last week I foundest myself in a place the locals called Pompeii when all of a sudden the mountain nearby exploded, with hot magma pouring out of it and a huge cloud of dust descending on the city. I was glad of my magic to get me out of there in a hurry, I can tell you". Roger realised that explaining a railway station would take a while, so he ordered two double espressos and they sat at the outdoor café whilst Roger explained. As he finished, the magus stood up, bowed low and, together with the wagon, vanished from the scene.
Peter hAd an older brother, David, who would tease him endlessly, but who would also take him out for a sumptuous feast now and then. As they staggered back on one of these occasions, they were met by a huge black beast which scared them at first until they discovered it was a friendly Russian Black Terrier. When Peter got back home he realised he had to start off his next batch of sourdough bread, so he took his yeast culture out of the fridge and set to on the first stage. After that they went round to the house of one of Peter's friends where it was decided that they'd play a game of charades. When Peter's time came, he motioned that it was a film. He then attempted to enact "Dancing with the Birds" which he soon realised was quite a challenge. Everyone was about to give up when Freda gave the right answer, exact in every detail, much to everyone's amazement.
[Any semblance to actual people and animals is purely coincidental!]
Dominic went to the vintAge transport rally. There were all sorts of old favourites like the London Transport Routemaster bus, but the one that really caught his eye was a coach (or was it a bus) that had a chain drive mechanism. He thought to himself the puzzlement on the face of the RAC representative called to assist if the chain drive went amiss when this was on the road!
In the evening, Lloyd hAd been jet-washing his driveway. It was dark when he finished. Next morning he noticed that his porch and front door were splattered with dirt. He had to set to and scrub it off.
AngEla was looking through her microscope in the laboratory. She had never seen what she was after, but today she spied the sight she'd been waiting so long for. She had the presence of mind to capture the sight on the microscope's camera before letting out a shriek of excitement which caused the other women and men in the laboratory to come over and have a look too. Angela then ran over to the facility's director, every sinew in her body at full stretch. Whilst catching her breath, she relayed the news to the director who congratulated her. After Angela had left, the director entered the details of the discovery into the laboratory's discovery index.
RyAn drove up to his shack in the forest for a long weekend. The bumpy dirt road had patches of snow and ice on it. One of the first things he did on arrival was to go to the wood store, get out his chain saw and cut up some logs so he could get the stove going and start to thaw out the place. He planned to hunt bears and then swank about his trophies. But could he find the bullets? They must have fallen off the back of his truck when it bounced along the dirt road. He had a miserable holiday and then face the snaky drive home afterwards. (The bears were pleased though!)
SebAstian made up his mind To build a new Railway station so that he and others could get to the city centre more conveniently. He organised a team of planners who made many a chart, calculation and diagram. He was always in the office keeping his team on track. Eventually it was time to present the proposal to a panel of railway companies, government and local authority. When the proposal was immediately thrown out, Sebastian expressed his wrath by breaking his fancy pen in two and smashing his chair on the desk. He was asked to leave the room.
Ted donned hIs drainpipe trousers, bolo tie, brocade waistcoat and crepe-soled shoes and hit the streets. He was on the lookout for a chick to chat up. In one bar he caught a whiff of perfume and spied the source through a chink in the lattice - she was gorgeous. Quick as a flash he was at her side offering her a drink. "Oh, that's kind of you", she said sweetly, "but I'm waiting for my boyfriend." Just then Larry turned up and slipped his arm through hers. On seeing the size and build of Larry, Ted retreated, somewhat miffed!
The strong gaLE wreaked havoc with the flimsy shacks. It wasn't clear that any shack in the area was whole. "Hello Charles", said the site manager to the owner. "We've got a problem here - the gale has damaged just about every shack on the site". Charles set to, contacting workmen to come as soon as possible to carry out repairs.
As ThE clock struck two, Jacob parked up at the depot and headed for home in the depth of the night. By now the hot water tank was rather tepid, and Jacob spent the night in his sleeping bag on the settee so as not to disturb the family. In the morning he wearily headed for breakfast only to discover that the Weetabix packet was empty.
CoLin lived with his parEnts in a secluded house by the River. He was very much a loner with an obsession for anything to do with boats. There was a small inlet from the river where Colin operated his model boats. He even had a model cruise liner which needed careful handling to lower into the water. His Mum and Dad were anxious about Colin being on his own. On one of his visits to the library to look for another nautical book, Colin encountered Jean who was looking for a book on coastlands. They both enjoyed each other's company and started dating. One day, to his parent's surprise, Colin brought Jean to the house and announced that they wanted to marry. Colin's parents were thrilled that at last Colin had found a lover.
![Floating LEGO Titanic Model [7 foot model]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Mx22w1cli-E/sddefault.jpg)
It was Winter and the GLasgow pavements were part snow and part slush. Morag gingerly walked along the street Under grey skies. Where she could she clung on to railings for stability. She was shocked when the snowball narrowly missed her head. A few seconds later another hit her ankle. She turned to see a grinning Hamish, the college bully, making another snowball. Morag was bracing herself for a miserable onslaught when Alexander showed up and pushed Hamish over with his face in the snow, picked up his sack and threw it up so that it caught near the top of a lamppost. Alexander walked Morag home before heading on his own way.
King EdwaRd the VIII sat On his throne
But he poured scorn on his heavy crown
He took his chance
And went to France
He sat by a brook and felt alone
Late in the afternoon, Kaz went to the Post Office-cum-convenience store. She was pleasantly surprised to find pots of phlox on sale and she couldn't resist the temptation to buy one, even though her garden was crammed full of lovely plants. She also posted her letter of complaint to the National Grid about the electricity pylon being erected on the hillside in view of her house. When she got home she found a niche to plant the phlox and set about the task of preparing the new aquarium and filling it with water. The next day the courier arrived with her star polyp, sea anemones and a variety of fish. All the creatures had arrived safely and were soon transferred to the aquarium.
DAisukE sat eating a peach when the floor began once more to shake. "I wish this phase of the construction works would come to an end so I don't have to chase the pencils that fall on the floor", he moaned. "This is hampering my anime creation; the deadline is approaching". Eventually he could take it no more and he got in his old Toyota Land Cruiser and headed to his adobe house in the country to which he would sometimes retreat to abide in. The next day he was upset to find that the old battery in his Land Cruiser had lost its charge. The vehicle was parked near the top of a slope so he was able to bump-start it. He headed to the nearest garage where, leaving the engine running, he bought a new battery. When he got home he swapped over the batteries making sure the leads were connected correctly to the cathode and anode.
If you do wAnT to get dRunk (see775 - PARTY ), don't stray from the party, though don't try to navigate your way home in your sailing craft as you might not be able to read the sea chart!
If you don't wAnT to get dRunk, don't tarry at the party!(Also see tomorrow's yarn!)
TalEk and Talwynn had married a couple of years ago. They were living in a small terraced house in St Agnes in Cornwall. Their means were modest so they could only dream of a big house with huge kitchen, multiple living rooms, wet-room bathrooms complete with a bidet and bedrooms like dance floors. As a token of their dream they had a picture of such a place in their dark narrow hallway! One day they cleared their busy diaries and went for a steep walk up the cliffs overlooking Trevaunance Cove. They sat on a bench and had a chuckle at an emmet who had left their car on the beach and which was now half covered in water. After a while the conversation turned to planning their lives together. Hesitatingly, Talwynn raised the subject of having children, fearful that Talek would resist. But to her joy, Talek expressed great relief, saying he was wondering the same. Without more ado, they headed back home and set about the process to beget their first child!😉
Elon ZuckergaTEs was very wealthy and when he and his wife had children they decided to start off their savings based on their deciduous teeth falling out. So when their first tooth fell out they put $1,000 into their junior bank account. Then for the second tooth, they put in 2²*$1,000 (ie $4,000) making a total of $5,000. By the time half the teeth had fallen out, that is when the tenth tooth fell out, the bank account stood at $385,000 and by the time the last of the 20 teeth fell out the account stood at $2,870,000.
EmiLy aTe hEr fruit and yoghurt and enjoyed her spelt brioche with vegan 'cheese'. She then set off over the stile and across the field to go and visit her friend Camilla. She was glad of her stole as the air was rather chilly. Camilla had set up her cake stand with a doily on each layer and laid out some small decorative cakes on it. When Emily arrived she made a pot of Darjeeling tea and they snacked in style.
