This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:
"Do be carEful out theRe", said Timmy's mother rather worriedly. Timmy was a mouse and he and his Father had to go to St Clare's primary school to collect a few supplies, since they had ran out of the things they needed. "Watch out for Paul Weber and Michael I Winter in grade 5", cried his mother with a regretting frown on her face. "And the bully in grade 6! I heard that he's training to be a boxer when he grows up," added mother desperately. "And I would suggest that you stay away from Mr Ebber and Mrs River. They hate small animals and are very strict," She went on. "And you're not going into the science room are you? Oh phew, it's only a primary school! In secondary they do experiments with fire! There might even be an ember or two on the floor. And, of course, there's the computing room where the kids are on the laptops, so be sure to stay hidden. I heard that Sabrina Williams so badly wants to be a coder when she grows up so she'll be there a lot, she added hastily. Oh, and in the baking room be sure to watch out for the hot oven and. be careful who is stirring the dough because I heard its Lily-Lou, so watch out for that clumsy mixer! And in forth..." "Jemima! You're not giving any spunk to poor Timmy!" Interrupted Father suddenly. "Well then, I'll be at the bower with my friends so go and be a gofer and do those errands then!" Finished mother, rather annoyed.
This is my version:
GabriEl was a shy soRt of person, so it took some spunk to be assigned by his parents a mixer role to mingle with the party guests. The party was held in the garden which bordered the river. He was tempted to head for the secluded bower in the garden and get on with his work as a coder using his smartphone. Gabriel's brother, Tim, had been assigned the role of a gofer, running this errand and then this one; he was in his element. Gabriel braced himself and engaged a beefy guy in conversation. He turned out to be a boxer who took an interest in Gabriel as a person. Gabriel talked about his latest coding project which was all about measuring small values of magnetic flux in the order of billionths of a weber. The boxer was very impressed since he had no idea what Gabriel was talking about! Later on, Tim started going from group to group warning them that the river was now an ebber, in case those that had arrived by boat needed to take their leave before it was too late. When the all guests had left, Tim and Gabriel had to attend to each of the fires in the garden that had been warming the guests looking for any hot ember they could find there. Tim and Gabriel's parents congratulated them and they all headed for bed expecting to have a lie-in the next morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment