This is my 10-year-old Granddaughter's version:
"So, when are we going? " Timmy asked sitting down on the steps after waiting for Ben to come down." It's not been long Tim, cool it. I don't see why you're so excited anyways, it's a boring walk and I do not want this new fur coat to get dirty! " Peri said haughtily applying lipstick 💄. A few minutes later, Ben came down making lots of noise as he put on his coat and bag. They set off and soon started walking. After a good few hours of hiking, Ben plopped himself down beside a beech tree and took a long sip of water. "Eeew! Ben put your coat down for me to sit on and make sure no bugs crawl onto me!" Peri squealed daintily sitting down and brushing the mud of her shoes with a wet wipe. "Here let me help you Peri, oops! There's an ant!" Ben said gently flicking off an ant." Oh come on! You're all being soft and daft when we should be walking. Leave little miss fussypots and be firm on her. You know she loves flattery!" Timmy said, red with rage after the little pity scene with his siblings. "Oh don't decry Ben's kindness Tim. You are just rude and annoying with a quick temper. Poor Benjamin is just doing this out of the kindness of his heart", Peri said, red in the face and head up. "Pooh! More like because you told him to!" Timmy scoffed under his breath. Peri rolled her eyes and Ben looked sad and went on silently with his hands in his pockets as he usually did when he was upset. Probably because he just got told off by his little brother.
This is my version:
There was a tERrible noise as a huge branch fell off the beech tree, narrowly missing the main structure of the garden shed, but knocking off the guttering. Albert went out to fix it back in place, though it looked like a project doomed to failure. Glenda was very dismissive of Albert's efforts, but Kaz reprimanded her - "Don't decry his efforts. It's good that he is motivated."
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