Tuesday, 30 April 2024

1045 - CRAFT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Timmy And Tommy weRe opening their new shop called the Nook's Cranny. It has a craft section, a food section, a book and exploration section and a stationery section. Tommy had just put a stark picture on the wall which showed Tom Nook, Timmy, Tommy, Dog Lover, L-J-A, Sahara, Mabel, Gulliver, Antonio, Katt and the airport guy. By the book section were CD's and DVD's too. There was Nooky and the tramp, The animal crossing king, Sleeping Isabelle and many more movies. Three new residents were joining and Dog Lover had the honour of choosing the new spots for the newcomers homes. Tommy was the greatest chef Palm Camp had ever seen. Timmy asked Tommy if he could grant his wish by making him blueberry pancakes. Timmy was the one who did most of the chattering. He was also the one to ask about simple information about Palm Camp. Blathers is the knowledgeable one but sometimes he gets a bit too carried away in reading old fairy tales and once, when Tom Nook went over to return a fossil, Blathers just blurted out, "No matter what you do, the bract and leaf drop will happen!". It was apparently from a nature book in the wildlife section of the museum.

[Yarn based on the video game Animal Crossing]

Nook's Cranny
Nook's Cranny

This is my version:

One dAy, Colin was Taken aback at the sight befoRe him. It was a stark reminder of his former ways. A bedraggled scruffy tramp picking up bits of food fallen off the food stalls that caught his eye. Colin had been living a similar life, living as a homeless person, permanently cold except in the summer and often wet, never sure what life would throw at him next. But a chance encounter with a street pastor had started the process of change from that. The pastor had spotted that Colin had a supressed aptitude for gardening. Eventually the pastor and Colin's social worker had managed to obtain a grant for Colin to learn the trade of a professional gardener. Colin studied about all sorts of things like tree grafting, transplanting and the academic aspects such as knowing the names of various parts of a flower (petal, _bract, stamen, etc). Colin gradually became more reliable during this process and was rewarded with a qualification in the craft of professional gardener.

Colin with his certificate
Colin with his certificate

Monday, 29 April 2024

1044 - PRUNE

Dr FostER went to Gloucester in a shower of rain. He got to the patient's residence and knocked loudly on the door. There was a loud snore from inside as the patient's landlady awoke from a slumber. Dr Foster visited the patient and took their temperature, blood sample and urine sample. After he'd finished with the patient, the landlady offered him a light breakfast. He had some eggs on toast with a prune alongside (there's no accounting for some people's tastes!). Next day Dr Foster got the results from the tests. They concluded that the patient needed to go into hospital. Dr Foster was quite pleased (for himself, that is) since that meant he wouldn't have to go to Gloucester again.

Doctor foster went to Gloucester by Nick Butterworth
Doctor foster went to Gloucester by Nick Butterworth

Sunday, 28 April 2024

1043 - GLEAM

CLArissa occasionally developEd some strange notions. Today she wanted to improve the look of nature. She started by cutting off every sepal of the flower heads of the flowers decorating the hallway so that the pretty petals showed up better. Next to the flowers was a bowl of lychees which she felt would look better if every scale was smoothed off. She stood back and she felt the flowers and lychees looked so much better. There was a gleam of delight in her eyes. But when her mother noticed the change she was horrified. "The flowers look ghastly and unnatural and the poor lychees are a mess; they will have to be peeled and eaten straight away as they won't last long like that."

That's one set of sepals removed
That's one set of sepals removed

Saturday, 27 April 2024

1042 - VAPID

"If the world is wArming up, I am going to make use of it", thought Greg, "I am determined to grow some rice in the UK". All his friends said he was nuts, but Greg had spunk and wouldn't let their negative comments deter him. He selected a suitable field on his farm and converted into a paddy field and sowed his first crop of rice. Greg's brother, Tony, was very much the opposite of Greg. He sat in his TV chair with his bag of boiled sweets, showing his gappy teeth whenever he opened his mouth. His was a vapid life which wouldn't amount to much unless he changed his ways.

Rice growing in Somerset? 🤣
Rice growing in Somerset? 🤣

Friday, 26 April 2024

1041 - INTRO

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Garfield was having a very good Time watching TV. He was flicking thRough the channels, skipping every intro and living the life. That is until John decided to get out his violin. After about ten minutes, Garfield felt very grateful when John had stopped to rosin his bow.

Garfield flicking through the channels
Garfield flicking through the channels

This is my version:

"That was a gReat start, apart from forgetting to rosin your bow", commented the violin teacher to the young pupil. "Can you now play the new intro I taught you last week and we'll see how that goes". The pupil gave it their best, but it was rather hesitant and unpolished. "That was reasonable", said the teacher - let's go over it now, bit by bit, and we'll see if we can polish it up a bit".

The teacher and pupil at work
The teacher and pupil at work

Thursday, 25 April 2024

1040 - OVERT

ThEResa was a plain-looking young woman whom nobody seemed to notice. Although she had several friends, none of her male friends ever asked her to have a meal or gave her gifts etc. In desperation she bought a really expensive scent in an overt way to draw attention to herself. Next time she met her friends, Danny remarked how lovely she was that evening. To cut a long story short, they were married within seven months and lived happily ever after. (She didn't have to replace the expensive scent when it ran out!)

THAMEEN Palace Amber Extrait d'Huile de Parfum. Only £4,950!
THAMEEN Palace Amber Extrait d'Huile de Parfum. Only £4,950!

Wednesday, 24 April 2024

1039 - ROVER

BrothER Cedric is now a pious monk. He is a skilled creator of leaded glass decorations that the Abbey sells. Today he is hard at work getting a small piece of glass to just the right shape using a honer.

Before becoming a monk he had been made to work in a factory where his father had worked. Because he was a deep thinker with little interest in manufacturing, he had been assigned the role of a gofer. His favourite response when being given an errand to carry out was to respond "roger and out" before setting off on the errand, gaining him a nickname of Roger! Whilst awaiting his next errand he would often be quite still gazing in the distance somewhat as he pondered life. So, often the foreman would call out "Hey Roger. Stop being a dozer and...". At break time when the drinks trolley arrived the workers would all gather just outside the foreman's office and start talking loudly about the latest boxer, or the next football or rugby match, etc. None of this would interest Cedric who would be found in the corner trying to cover his ears so he could think more clearly.

After a few months, the workshop manager was attending a factory board meeting during which he proposed "I think we should make Roger - I mean Cedric - a redundancy offer (even though there's nothing wrong with his work and his job is still needed), as he's clearly not at home here. A generous redundancy package would soften the blow and help him in his next job". The meeting secretary noted that the manager was the mover of the proposal. The board voted in favour of the proposal. Cedric was very relieved at being made redundant and headed to the monastery. He hung around the abbot's office. Before long he was noticed by one of the monks, Brother Peter. "What makes you hover here?", Brother Peter asked. On learning of Cedric's longing to become a monk, Peter said "The abbot is out at the moment. Do you see that parking space marked Ab? Make yourself at home here and keep an eye on it. When you see a grey Rover pull up, that will be the abbot, so go out and meet him and explain what you want. I'll get you a cup of tea and some cake whilst you wait."

The board meeting deciding Cedric's future
The board meeting deciding Cedric's future

Tuesday, 23 April 2024

1038 - LASER

After work, and with much LAughtER, the workmates went to the pub. They enjoyed playing games of darts and pool, whilst consuming a few glasses of lager. Inevitably before long one of them went to the gents, finishing up his visit by washing his hands in the laver. He then span round rather too fast, lost his balance and twisted his ankle. He limped back to join his mates, laughing off his slip up. But as the evening wore on, he slowly became lamer. By the time he got home he found out he couldn't get his work boot off because of the swollen ankle. His wife took him to A&E where they used a precision laser to cut off his boot so they could examine it.

The swollen foot
The swollen foot

Monday, 22 April 2024

1037 - JOLLY

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"GarfieLd! Wake up! It's Christmas morning!", John yelled. Garfield stared around the room and then mumbled, "well you sure made the house look jolly and I think you overdid it with the holly". "Let's open presents boys!", John cried, rushing downstairs still in his PJ's. "Oh golly Garfield, Aunt Aggie got you a lasagne discount for Joe's fast food restaurant! A blue knitted wool sweater! How sweet of Uncle Peter! Look at the cosy bed Odie, do you like it? Oh Garfield! Seems like Auntie Susan got a bit carried away and got you a frilly dolly! Ok boys, I wrapped these especially for you last night", John started. "No wonder is was so noisy!", thought Garfield! "Odie, I got you a bone and Garfield, in the kitchen is a plate of lasagne!", finished John.

Aunt Aggy reading out the discount voucher for Garfield
Aunt Aggy reading out the discount voucher for Garfield

This is my version:

The teLivision came on in the lounge. Suspicious, Mum came in remarking "What's all this noise?" Megan was clutching her dolly close to her, not sure about what she was seeing on the TV. "Golly!", gasped Mum, "that's not suitable for you two to watch", she said as she switched off the TV. "Callum, I thought we'd agreed that you would collect up the dead holly leaves in the garden this morning". "They were too prickly", replied Callum lamely. "Go on with you, you know how I showed you how not to get pricked", sighed Mum. "Oh yes", responded Callum, as he put his wellies on and headed to the garden. Once Callum was outside and had finished his task, he found other reasons to stay outside and didn't reappear in the house until lunchtime. After lunch Mum announced "It's a special day today because a year ago we moved into this house and we are going to celebrate. Can you two (looking at Callum and Megan) see what you can do to decorate the lounge and make it look all jolly. We've invited your best friend to join us, so there will be six for the celebration."

The jolly lounge ready for the celebration
The jolly lounge ready for the celebration

Sunday, 21 April 2024

1036 - LUCID

The teacher waLked into the noisy classroom. "Today it is Jackson's turn to talk about a happy memory from his childhood. Now Jackson, I want this to be lucid", said the teacher. "What does 'lucid' mean, sir?", retorted Jackson, looking mystified. The class giggled and fidgeted noisily again. "Well you were clearly not listening in the last two lessons, otherwise you'd know", responded the teacher. "'Lucid' means clear speech, making what you are trying to express accurate. ok?". Needless to say Jackson's talk was not very good.

Jackson with the teacher
Jackson with the teacher

Saturday, 20 April 2024

1035 - RAISE

A group of friEnds who had been uninspiRed by school, and who were poorly educated as a result, all joined the army at the same time. Because of their low educational achievements, and much to their dislike, part of their week was taken up with lessons. This time there was no messing about with the military discipline imposed. Slowly they started learning what was essential for being in the army. But at the moment, the sergeant had left the room and they slipped into their idle ways and were messing about. All of a sudden, Jack called out "Look out - sarge is coming. Time to get back to those sentences we are supposed to parse." In a flash they were back in their seats and looking suitably studious. Next week when the sergeant came into the lesson, he reprimanded the recruits. "Up until last week you had been improving. But you have slipped back this last week. You have to raise your game if you want to complete this recruitment process. Otherwise you will have to repeat a year and none of you want that, do you?"

Lessons for the recruits
Lessons for the recruits

Friday, 19 April 2024

1034 - FACET

As Kyle aTE his breakfast he opened his post. "How much?", he gasped as he read his income tax bill, looking with incredulity at the amount demanded. "I hate being a taxee. I'm taxed at every turn, whether I earn money to live by and when I buy all sorts of things." He was in a foul mood all that morning. "Come here Gary", he said as he took his tamed rat out of its cage, "can you cheer me up?" Gary did calm Kyle's mood and Kyle then set about checking every facet of his spending to see where he could cut down.

What Kyle dreaded
What Kyle dreaded

Thursday, 18 April 2024

1033 - TITHE

ThE obstetrician was sadly having to deliver a very premature baby. As it was born, he commanded "Quick, fetch an incubator; this fetus looks like it wants to survive." The parents were devastated that their new baby looked like it might not survive, but they cried out to God in prayer. Every day they and their Pastor gathered round the incubator, laying hands on it and praying for a miracle. After what seemed like forever, the parents were at last allowed to take their baby home. The next Sunday, they arrived at church, much to the delight of the Pastor and congregation alike. The Pastor led the congregation in praise and thanksgiving for the miracle baby in their midst. That week, when they took up the tithe and offering, the amount collected was almost double the usual amount as the congregation had been touched by the miracle.

World's smallest baby in incubator
World's smallest baby in incubator

Wednesday, 17 April 2024

1032 - SHANK

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

For dinner tonight, GArfield had a delicious lamb shank, complete with a plate of crisp, soft potatoes and a celery and leek salad soaked in gravy. This was because John thought that there would be chaos if Garfield had lasagne 1 more day. The next day, John went and bought a shawm from the antique shop. When he got home, he started telling Garfield about the unique things and was talking for 20 minutes before realising that Garfield was asleep. John decided to try the shawm. He was a little shaky but he got over it soon. The next day, it was boiling hot. Garfield hid in the shady space behind John's wardrobe and stayed there till dinner.

John boring Garfield to the point of extinction
John boring Garfield to the point of extinction

This is my version:

A scene of chaos presented itself to Sandra. She soon became all shaky and she stumbled to a chair in the shady part of the garden. "Whatever could have happened here?", she thought. Then she remembered that her friend had been. Her friend had a huge dog with a propensity to exploring everything, tail awagging. Eventually Sandra calmed down and went inside to practice the medieval music piece on her shawm; the concert wasn't far off now so she had to keep at it. She set off downstairs but yelped in pain as she knocked the shank of her leg on the Ottoman that she'd walked past a thousand times. "It must have been the shock from seeing the chaotic garden earlier", she surmised.

Sandra with her shawm
Sandra with her shawm

Tuesday, 16 April 2024

1031 - EQUIP

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Garfield awoke one morning only to hear that John's room had become very noisy. When John came out, he was wearing a ridiculous outfit and was giddy with excitement. "Come on ol' pal! We're off to Go Ape so strap up!" said John pushing Garfield towards the door. "NO! No!" Garfield protested, "I can't, I'm too fat! But if you're desperate, I'll go because I'm kind, but at least let me get a piece of toast!". They arrived at Go Ape and Garfield said "where are the apes?" While they were in line, John told Garfield how the assistants need to equip you with a harness before you go in".

Garfield was surprised that there were no apes
Garfield was surprised that there were no apes

This is my version:

"Eee, this is a noisy piece of equipment. But I suppose it is what I need to equip me to break up this concrete quickly?"

Pneumatic Drill
Pneumatic Drill

Monday, 15 April 2024

1030 - BLIMP

In the quiet room, Lance was writing his forgery of the famous painting documentation. Scratch, scratch, scratch went the noisy quill on the parchment. He glanced up at the dark form of the blimp protecting the neighbourhood from low-level attack aircraft. He felt safe. Just then a delayed action bomb smashed through the front of the house sending Lance crashing to the floor and knocking him out. The rescuers found him and sent him to hospital; the police also found the forgery documents. Then the area was evacuated and bomb disposal got to work. Although Lance's home was not too badly damaged, Lance found himself in jail awaiting trial!

WWII blimps
WWII blimps

Sunday, 14 April 2024

1029 - STEEL

CarLos had To bE fleet of foot to get under some shelter when the sleet got heavy. What he didn't realise was the precarious state of his shelter. Within a minute, a hunky piece of wood fell off, narrowly missing his head and landing on his toes. He was very grateful for his steel-capped boots! Although the shelter had been welcome, Carlos thought it better to get wet than be crushed and set off home as quickly as he could.

Dilapidated shelter
Dilapidated shelter

Saturday, 13 April 2024

1028 - WHINY

Sam and Crystal took their young kids to the Mum's group where they could ignore the chaos of all the children interacting and have a drink and a natter. "How's yours getting on these days?", enquired Sam. "Oh she's very noisy a lot of the time. How about yours?", replied Crystal. "Most of the time it's OK, but when he gets whiny because he can't get his own way, I feel like tearing my hair out", responded Sam. Meanwhile the children's carers couldn't wait till the session ended!

Sam and Crystal have a natter
Sam and Crystal have a natter

Friday, 12 April 2024

1027 - LOUSE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Hey! Garfield, where are you going with my Sports Direct duffel bag? And my sport sungLassEs, and my cool black movie jacket, and are those my extra chocolate-chip double fudge and toffee, triple marshmallow-caramel, quadruple cinnamon flake and crushed crisps sprinkle icing sugar bars I see? Oh, and not to mention doughnut box and oh oh oh! Are those love chocolates I see? In a heart shaped box? For some girl maybe? And you're going out in the late evening, you didn't eat your dinner...I think it's a date you're heading to!", said John. Garfield could only stare and blush. It was a date but he couldn't let John know because then he'd be giving Garfield lots of noogies (a hard rubbing with the knuckles on someone's head, or occasionally elsewhere, intended to inflict pain) and comments like "You're in love", or, "When's ya wedding?" Then John started itching his head for five minutes straight before yelling "Ahh! This head louse is driving me crazy! At least I think it's a head louse." Something fell out of Garfield's pocket that looked ever so like John's wallet. He picked it up, turned around and fumbled a bit and turned back around. He handed John back his wallet and tried to look as innocent as possible. "Garfield, come clean and hand over the money" said John sticking his hand out. "Was is £10 or £15 or was it ....eeek! Garfield, did you leave the door open?! Oh no! Odie's on the loose!"

Garfield with his amour
Garfield with his amour

This is my version:

There was a Loud noisE as Dan left his room and came downstairs preparing to go out to have his job interview. "Whatever are you wearing?", gasped Dan's Mum, "Those trousers are far too baggy and loose. You won't impress an employer", she chided. Dan made even more noise as he went back to his room and changed. Once he got back downstairs, Dan's Mum exclaimed: "Now that's better, Remember, you are aiming to impress. Speak clearly and politely. Don't louse up this interview like the last one." Dan hated the lecture but realised the wisdom. This time he came home with a huge grin and a hug for his Mum that said it all.

Dan in his baggy loose trousers
Dan in his baggy loose trousers

Thursday, 11 April 2024

1026 - BROTH

AlThough the Repair work in the house seems never ending for Kathy, watching the carpenter as he routs the surface of the new wood to match up to the existing wood is a delight to behold. She is so appreciative that when she cooks up some broth for her lunch she brings the carpenter a mug as well. "That's lovely! What's in it.", exudes the carpenter. "Ah, that would be telling", grins Kathy, tapping her nose, "that's for me to know and for you to enjoy"!

Kathy's carpenter also makes routed decorations
Kathy's carpenter also makes routed decorations

Wednesday, 10 April 2024

1025 - MERGE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"HEy GaRfield! I'm making crème brûlée. Wanna help?", John called to Garfield from the kitchen. Garfield, who was watching an eerie film on the TV, thought out loud "Of course I do! I love helping with food! The bowl licking, the taste testing! I'm on my way!" He whizzed into the kitchen like a rocket. Garfield watched John merge the ingredients into a bowl. Afterwards, they went out to see Liz. When John saw Liz, he said "Hey, did you redye your hair??" "Why yes John", Liz replied patting her blonde curls. After a meal, they all went home. Just as Garfield's head hit the pillow of his bed, a snore came out from the room.

Garfield is keen to be involved in the food prep
Garfield is keen to be involved in the food prep

This is my version:

EaRly in the morning, Lisa was awake. There seemed to be a snore from every bedroom. "I can't get back to sleep with that racket", mumbled Lisa. "I'm off to redye my blouse". When she'd finished she moisturised her face with face creme. She finished getting ready for the day and went to have some breakfast. Lisa, who loved to talk, sat there in the eerie silence of pre-dawn. As no one else had still not risen, she started work. It was a good time to merge two versions of the same document. "I'm glad that's done. I needed to have some time to do that. Maybe the snoring has had a benefit after all", thought Lisa

Lisa moisturises her face
Lisa moisturises her face

Tuesday, 9 April 2024

1024 - BREED

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

At dinnER time, John plonked a dish of lasagne down on the table and said tiredly, "Eat Garfield". Garfield eyed John and then he eyed the dish up and down for a minute and finally muttered, "What's with the pyrex dish? You usually, and when I say usually, I mean always, use the navy-blue one". "Well I hate to break it to you old buddy, but I, well, so I um accidentally, maybe I kinda, ok, I broke it" , stuttered John awkwardly. John saw the greed in his eyes and knew too well that Garfield wouldn't be held back for long. That morning, John didn't get to make Garfield's breakfast, so Garfield tried to creep him out by pouring water on him in bed. After he grumpily dried himself, John reluctantly made Garfield's breakfast and then made himself some cereal. John had his first violin lesson today so after some cornflakes he set off with his new violin in his hand to the local music school. When he got back, he cried, "Hey buddy, wanna hear me play? I feel like an expert already!" 'Oh goody,' thought Garfield. John got out his new violin and rosin and used it to tighten the bow. After the song John played, Garfield's expression changed back to normal, for it had become frozen with the shock of the terrible noise or what John called, 'Wonderful music'. Garfield felt like he had been freed from a prison after John's awful racket. The next day, John sprung a surprise on Garfield. "Surprise buddy, pack your bags because we're off to Greece! Actually I already packed your bags so you don't need to, even though I already said 'pack your bags' and this and that but it doesn't really matter so you can just hop in your kitty carrier! I looked at a brochure last evening and we're going to visit so many Greek landmarks" Once John finally managed to persuade Garfield to get in the kitty carrier, they headed to the airport. On the way, Garfield saw lots of different dogs. Each was a different breed to the rest. Westies, Border collies, Bernese mountain dogs, Chihuahuas, Pugs, bulldogs, and many more!

John put Garfield in the kitty carrier
John put Garfield in the kitty carrier

This is my version:

ERica came down to breakfast; the room was in a bit of a mess. "These were one of the times when having young kids saps your strength", she muttered as she surveyed the scene. She picked up the rosin off the floor, returning it to her daughter's violin case. She cleared enough room to enable her to eat breakfast. She poached an egg, made some toast and put some baked beans into a pyrex dish to heat up in the microwave. She was having to creep around as her husband was fast asleep after his night shift. She couldn't help starting her work whilst eating. She was a website designer and had got to the stage where it made sense to greek out the detail so she could concentrate on the structure and flows of using the sitee. Just then her daughters appeared and scrambled up next to her trying to pinch some beans off her plate. "No you don't - that's sheer greed", she chided with a grin. "If you want some breakfast, first you have to tidy up this mess". Erica didn't notice when one of her daughters freed the pet rabbit (Alfonso) to have a run around before they'd finished tidying. "Just make sure you clean up after Alfonso", she commanded. Alfonso was a beautiful breed of rabbit but its fur needed lots of attention which usually fell to Erica to do. She never complained however since she rather enjoyed the task.

Alfonso looking his best
Alfonso looking his best

Monday, 8 April 2024

1023 - VOILA

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

GarfieLd wAs sitting at the dinner table licking his lips with a stripy napkin wrapped around his neck and shiny silverware in his paws. John came in and swiftly held out a plate of steaming hot lasagne while saying, "Voila!" John sat down too, tied a polka-dot napkin round his neck and cut out 2 slices. One was about half of the dish and the other was an average, decent sort of slice. I bet you can guess who's is who's! John struck up a conversation,"Hey Garfield, my fisherman friend, Joe, said he actually caught a shoal of fish. Usually he comes back almost empty handed but yesterday must have been his lucky day. He also said that the little stream next to the one he went fishing in, was aflow thanks to all the heavy rain on Thursday. John glimpsed a look out of the window, and the wind did ablow. A minute later John looked back out the window, where the clouds were turning coaly and grey. After dinner John flicked on the TV and put on a travel show. The travellers were saying they visited the Volga river in Russia - the water was very clear and fresh. John then switched to another channel where an orchestra was performing - it was near the end and had a fugal finale.

John saw these coaly grey clouds
John saw these coaly grey clouds

This is my version:

Andrew was having a LAzy Sunday afternoon. He was enjoying some fugal music in his headphones whilst he watched a shoal of fish coping effortlessly in the local stream which was now aflow with water following the recent heavy rains. But he started to chill off as the wind rose and fair did ablow. To Andrew's annoyance he only just realised the coaly nature of where he had been sitting and he realised he'd have to wash his trousers tonight so that he could wear them tomorrow for his financial lessons, one of which was to learn all about volga. After lessons, Andrew was keen to unwind by heading to his regular dance lessons. Tonight he was learning the polka which he found was very lively and just what he needed as a contrast to the brain work earlier. He and the rest of the class went back to Angie's place where she heated up a scrumptious moussaka. She came in proudly announcing "Voila", and receiving loads of satisfied "yums", "aaghs" and "oohs" from the group.

Andrew's Polka Dance Lesson
Andrew's Polka Dance Lesson

Sunday, 7 April 2024

1022 - FINCH

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Garfield awoke one morning only to hear a really disturbing noise. He tried to go back to sleep, but whatever that thing was, it was real noisy so Garfield decided to wake up once and for all. He looked at the clock, 6:25! Eeeek! Garfield groaned, "I'd like to pinch the person that is making all that noise!" It turned out it was John. He was making breakfast and apparently he had checked yesterday and there was going to be a beautiful sunrise. So John had planned to have a nice breakfast outside and watch the sunrise and do an hour of bird watching. Once Garfield found out, he was angry with rage. "A day out in the sunshine at six-O-clock?!!! He's mad! And he's got to be nuts to think that I would join him!", stuttered Garfield, trembling with anger. Garfield tried to signal John and shout to him, 'that it was a bad idea' and, 'don't expect me to join you' and, 'you woke me up from a really good dream' and all that nonsense. But John didn't hear a word because he was so focused and exited to make this the best sunrise day ever! Garfield turned on the piano, cranked the volume up to the loudest, and struck a minim to get his attention. John was in the middle of buttering peanut butter and jam onto a slice of toast and the note made him jump out of his skin! "Oh, heh heh, Garfield, didn't see ya there buddy, how about you join me in some..." But Garfield interrupted by stuttering, "don't even think about it!" Garfield grabbed 2 marshmallows and stuffed them in his ears then went back to bed. John went bird watching 2 hours later and saw 1 finch, 2 blue tits, 7 sparrows, 3 gulls, 4 crows and like a million pigeons! Meanwhile, Garfield was in the middle of a really good dream. To make the story short, basically, Garfield used a winch to pull up a giant plate of lasagne and John and Odie go to jail.

At sunrise Garfield wanted to be asleep still
At sunrise Garfield wanted to be asleep still

This is my version:

Aaron lives with his parents and sisters, Keri and Megan, in a spacious house. When Aaron's piano teacher, Mrs Whittaker, arrives, the music room is pretty noisy, what with all the children talking at once and squabbling over things. At the sight of the serious face of Mrs Whittaker being shown into the room, Keri and Megan feel obliged to go elsewhere. Aaron starts on one of his pieces. "No, no", interrupts Mrs Whittaker, "that's a minim there - you are playing it like a crotchet. Try again." Aaron is just about to pinch a piece of Keri's paper to write a reminder to himself about the minim, when Keri pops in for something. "Don't even think about it!", chides Keri. Megan is into all things mechanical and is currently trying to see if the electric winch on the old Landrover is strong enough to pull the vehicle even with the handbrake on. Keri is very different and loves observing the garden's wild life. As she is watching, first one Green Finch shows up at the garden feeder, then five more.

Old Landrover front winch
Old Landrover front winch

Saturday, 6 April 2024

1021 - WRIST

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

John had said to Garfield and Odie one day, "I'm going jogging wiTh my pals, so don't get up to any mischief!" Once John had left, GaRfield took his sweet time and wrecked the house like a king. First he wrecked all of John's favourite ferns (whose names were Tim, Rose, Honey, Pixie-stormray, and Larry Mcdufus). Then he went through all the cupboards and knocked down all the food that was on them. Then he clawed the armchair. Then he broke John's Mum's absolute favourite vase. And then he told Odie to go and chew John's new Easter bunny slippers while he, Garfield, switched the television on and sat down with a warm plate of lasagne beside him. When John came back, he said, "Garfield, Odie I'm home, by the way, I injured my wrist while I was... Hey! Why is there grist on the flo... Aaaaaargh! what a mess! Garfield, do you know what happened?" Garfield was still on the sofa with the TV in front of him. "Well, it was all an accident you see, Odie and I were... ", began Garfield, but John stopped him. "I don't want to hear it! My ferns! Tim, Rose, Honey, Pixie, Larry! My ferns, speak to me!, all my food, and my fave ginger biscuits, and my new armchair, Mum's vase! Garfield, do know how precious that vase is? Could this get any worse?" Just then, Odie came down with John's chewed-on slippers in his mouth. "I had to ask, of course it could!", John sighed.

Garfield and the vase
Garfield and the vase

This is my version:

The specialist bRead maker did all the work from the grain to the loaf. So sometimes you'd find him behind the front desk serving customers and at other times you'd find him in the mill loft adding grist to the mill wheel to make the flour. One day he hurt himself after a fall playing football. He had to employ someone to take over the heavier work whilst his wrist healed. The worker turned out to be rather good and his sales actually increased, so he made the employee's job permanent.

The baker-cum-miller adding wheat to the grist mill
The baker-cum-miller adding wheat to the grist mill

Friday, 5 April 2024

1020 - CLIMB

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Why do humans put food on high places to cooL? Why couldn't they put it somewhere lower?!", sighed Garfield who was staring at a plump, juicy chicken that John had placed on top of the refrigerator to cool off. After his 36th attempt to climb the refrigerator, Garfield finally decided to wait till dinner. Lizz was coming for dinner so John was cooking an especially tasty meal which was lasagne, chicken and lemon cheesecake for dessert. While he was waiting for dinner, Garfield wandered over to where the plumber was trying to plumb the upper bathroom sink (since Garfield had got his tail stuck in the drain while trying to have a drink yesterday). DING! Lizz had arrived. Lizz sat on the sofa applying lip gloss until supper. When tea was ready, John called, "Food time! Come on Lizz, Garfield hurry up, it's lasagne your fave!" At the thought of lasagne Garfield licked his lips and about 5 seconds later, Odie was watching Garfield slink to the table wondering what on earth had happened.

John had made a delightful looking lasagne with roast chicken
John had made a delightful looking lasagne with roast chicken

This is my version:

Len arrived at the house to progress the bathroom installation. The house cat was raised from its cosy place by the hot water tank in the bathroom at the sound of the door opening. On seeing Len the cat decided to slink away to somewhere quieter to doze. Len put down the tin of gloss paint that he'd need later and set to to plumb in the bath. This was not easy for Len as he was rather plump. Once he'd finished the plumbing, he had to climb the loft ladder to turn the hot water supply back on. He barely fitted through the access door!

Len installing the bath
Len installing the bath

Thursday, 4 April 2024

1019 - PLAIT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Hey Garfield, take a Look AT my new fern I'm growing! It's only a stalk now but it will grow into a beautiful plant!", called John, watering his fern. "Oh goody!", thought Garfield who had stood back to admire his plait he had done with one of Odie's ears. "I'd rather blast off into unknown space than look at his dumb fern!" said Garfield, going up into the music room. The record player was playing tonal music. "Aaaaargh", screamed Garfield, "I came in here to have a quick nap to get my thoughts away from John's fern, not listening to old-fashioned music!" He stormed out of the room.

Odie taking action over the record player
Odie taking action over the record player

This is my version:

Freda LATimer played in a band that specialised in mediaeval tonal music. They would give small concerts making a few pounds for their group's coffers. One day there was a fire in his garage which set light to a gas cylinder. Suddenly there was a big blast as it exploded. She had been about to go in there to transplant a stalk or two into pots to produce new plants and was relieved not to have been caught up in the fire or blast. To calm her nerves before deciding what to do about the damage, she went into the house to make a plait in her hair. She felt a lot better after that and went back to the poorly garage to see what she could salvage.

The garage explosion
The garage explosion

Wednesday, 3 April 2024

1018 - SERUM

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"REady Garfield?," cried John," I told you to get the sandwiches ready for lunch!" He put his ear to the door of the room that Garfield had walked into and heard a snore coming from inside. John put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot impatiently with a cross expression on his face. He opened the door and managed to wake Garfield up. "I couldn't read your writing, it was to messy, and each serif was just not-readable," smiled Garfield in a sweet baby voice with his hands behind his back innocently. "EXCUSES!,", thought John. "And since when did Garfield learn what serifs are!," he thought walking out of the room. Then John had a marvellous idea. "Oh, and Garfield, since you have eaten way too much lasagne, you have caught a terrible disease called lasagnitis, therefore, you will need the serum which is, CABBAGE" called John rubbing his hands together and smiling gleefully. "Well that ought to do him some good," John said as he heard Garfield's cry of despair and the sound of him falling onto the floor.

Garfield has lasagnitis
Garfield has lasagnitis

This is my version:

ThERe was a loud snore from Katie's bedroom. "Come on lazy-bone's", said Mum, "Up you get. There's only a week left to perfect your serif skills for the calligraphy competition next Saturday." Katie groaned and stirred herself. Once she'd applied the serum to her face she felt better. She gobbled up her breakfast and shot up to her room to practice. What she produced looked beautiful. Practice during the week paid off and next Saturday she walked away with the top prize 🏆.

Katie motivated at last to work on her calligraphy
Katie motivated at last to work on her calligraphy

Tuesday, 2 April 2024

1017 - FROND

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Garfield was just waking up and opened his eyes. John came in and opened the curtains to let in a bright ray of sunshine. "You should really let some sunshine in here Garfield!", Garfield hissed and hid his face in the blanket. He finally got out of bed for breakfast and stared at his brown cat food. "I'm getting bored of this boring cat food", thought Garfield. He eyed around to see if anybody was watching and tipped his food out so John could trip and Garfield could gobble up the steak. John got up to get his eggs and tripped on the food. His fork fell out of his hands and each prong went with it. Garfield took his chances and jumped onto the seat to start on the steak. My daily routine, he thought. "Fine! I've lost my appetite. Let's switched on the TV instead!", barked John. John picked up his watering can and watered each frond of his freshly grown fern with care. Then Garfield, John and Odie sat in front of the TV. They flipped through the different channels. "How to drown"? NO. The baby show's "How to cronk like a goose"? NO. "When the Queen put on her crown". NO. "The noisy family"? NO. "The lasagne show"? YES. A frown fell over John's face. "Hey Garfield, do you know what happened to my lasagne I baked yesterday? I placed it on the cooking rack to cool and it seemed to have vanished!", said John, narrowing his eyes at Garfield. Garfield blushed and said while his eyes were glued to the screen, "Don't look at me like you always do, it could have been Odie for once!" John stared down at Odie who was yipping excitedly and staring at screen waiting for the show to begin. He sure did look innocent if he was the thief! John stared back at Garfield and crossed his arms. Garfield turned the other direction and mumbled, "Me, first suspect on everything, I mean it could be Odie for a change, I think we have a tattletale in this house! Unless its just that John knows I'm the lasagne lover here!"

Garfield, John and Odie watching TV
Garfield, John and Odie watching TV

This is my version:

Finney was in a gRumpy mood, as usual. He had to get his car fixed today. The exhaust was so noisy and, to crown it all, the headlights didn't work. He had a permanent frown - oh how he wished he could drown his sorrows with a bottle of whisky. But then how could he get back home from the garage again? Nothing was right in his eyes - why had he bought a boring brown car? You would have thought he would have grown out of these moans by now, but it seemed as if moaning was what he thrived on! After he'd got the car's headlights and noisy exhaust fixed (though not the brown colour!), he drove home to do some gardening. One prong of the garden fork was bent and the neighbour's flock of geese decided to cronk and disturb the peace. (Why hadn't they got used to him by now? Maybe they sensed his grumpy mood!) One type of plant he hated was any sort of fern. Before long Finney spotted a frond from one. He attacked it with fury with the bent fork, muttering under his breath. He went back to the house as grumpy as ever.

Finney's bent prong on garden fork
Finney's bent prong on garden fork

Monday, 1 April 2024

1016 - TABOO

Reece hAd been senT some money by his Aunt Agatha with instructions to go and dine in her favourite restaurant (which was rather posh). The menu was a total mystery to Reece, so he asked for the waitress to choose something for him. She ordered 'pheasant under glass'. Reece was very impressed by the presentation, but the taste made him convinced the food had a taint. The waitress tried to explain that that was the way it always was and that what he'd noticed was the gamey taste. But Reece would have none of it. He ordered tapas instead. He said he was none too impressed with the tapas either, though the empty dishes suggested otherwise! Reece managed to wrangle a 30% discount because of his dissatisfaction and vowed never to return to the 'tacky' restaurant. Whenever he met up with Aunt Agatha after that, talking about 'that restaurant' was a taboo subject.

Pheasant Under Glass
Pheasant Under Glass