955 - EXPEL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

The onLy reason I obEy my teacher is because she said if I don't an otterhound will come and eat you up. She said that an otterhound is the fiercest type of dog you can get but I'm not so sure about that. Two reasons, one is 'cause I'm pretty sure the fiercest type of dog is a bulldog or a boxer and two is 'cause I've seen one walking with its owner. It just looked like a fluffy, furry, friendly, snuggly moving ball of fur that likes cuddles. (I'm an otter if your wondering.) Today, my teacher said we've done very well so don't spoil it. I'm not sure she means that 'cause half of us (including me) fell asleep in geography. The naughtiest otter in my class is Jimmy Jones and he's halfway from being expelled! And I thought the word expel on its own was enough to take in!

The friendly Otterhound

This is my version:

Sir Francis is a FeLlow of ThE Society for the Preservation of Worms and was one of the founding members. After being involved in the Society for decades it was a tremendous shock to the other members (all 10 of them) to discover that Sir Francis also regularly went fishing using worms as bait. At this meeting a motion was raised stating that "Sir Francis has had a detrimental impact on the society and his actions spoil its ability to attract new members". This motion was put to the vote and carried by 10 for to 1 against. As a result the 10 members decided they had no option but to expel Sir Francis from the Society. Sir Francis just shrugged his shoulders and went home to do some more fishing.

Fishing using Worms

954 - LEGGY

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

I'm a crow and I was just out on my usual morning strolL when I spotted somEthing particular that I just couldn't take my eyes off. Two farms - that were unfortunately next to each other - had owners that were practically enemies with each other and whenever they were in a fight it would sometimes rise up to an extreme temper and when that happens, you wouldn't want to get involved with because it wasn't a pretty scene. This morning they were having their daily fight. Peggy, the owner of Horse Tail Farm, Had a chicken loose and Leigh, the owner of Crop Field Farm, had - as usual - chuckled and said, "Oh Peggy Leggy you are a silly billy and rushing around like that trying to catch your dear little chicken. Ha ha!". But something else had bugged Peggy. The name 'Peggy leggy' was a name that Leigh had thought of about a year ago. This all started when Peggy had owned an old, leggy plant and Leigh had teased her for it by saying Peggy leggy.

The farm border fight

This is my version:

It was a LovEly warm day in April. Mum took Clara to the countryside to explore. The place was open and free of hazards so Clara was let loose from her buggy to run around. Mum was ready with her phone camera to capture the scene. There were lots of little meadow flowers bringing great delight to Clara. Just then the farmer came up to Mum - "Do yer like me leigh", he enquired. "Oh, yes", said Mum, "would it be ok for my daughter to pick some of the flowers?", she asked. "Happen. Though they won't last long", came the answer. Just then Clara started yelling and Mum rushed over. "Urgh, Urgh", Clara was saying as first one, then another crane fly bumped into Clara. "I don't particularly like those leggy crane flies either darling", said Mum, picking up Clara. "Shall we pick some flowers together?", she said. Clara forgot the crane flies and together they enjoyed several minutes picking flowers. Then it was time to head home.

Clara picking the flowers

953 - EMBER

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

"Do be carEful out theRe", said Timmy's mother rather worriedly. Timmy was a mouse and he and his Father had to go to St Clare's primary school to collect a few supplies, since they had ran out of the things they needed. "Watch out for Paul Weber and Michael I Winter in grade 5", cried his mother with a regretting frown on her face. "And the bully in grade 6! I heard that he's training to be a boxer when he grows up," added mother desperately. "And I would suggest that you stay away from Mr Ebber and Mrs River. They hate small animals and are very strict," She went on. "And you're not going into the science room are you? Oh phew, it's only a primary school! In secondary they do experiments with fire! There might even be an ember or two on the floor. And, of course, there's the computing room where the kids are on the laptops, so be sure to stay hidden. I heard that Sabrina Williams so badly wants to be a coder when she grows up so she'll be there a lot, she added hastily. Oh, and in the baking room be sure to watch out for the hot oven and. be careful who is stirring the dough because I heard its Lily-Lou, so watch out for that clumsy mixer! And in forth..." "Jemima! You're not giving any spunk to poor Timmy!" Interrupted Father suddenly. "Well then, I'll be at the bower with my friends so go and be a gofer and do those errands then!" Finished mother, rather annoyed.

Foraging Expedition to School Instructions

This is my version:

GabriEl was a shy soRt of person, so it took some spunk to be assigned by his parents a mixer role to mingle with the party guests. The party was held in the garden which bordered the river. He was tempted to head for the secluded bower in the garden and get on with his work as a coder using his smartphone. Gabriel's brother, Tim, had been assigned the role of a gofer, running this errand and then this one; he was in his element. Gabriel braced himself and engaged a beefy guy in conversation. He turned out to be a boxer who took an interest in Gabriel as a person. Gabriel talked about his latest coding project which was all about measuring small values of magnetic flux in the order of billionths of a weber. The boxer was very impressed since he had no idea what Gabriel was talking about! Later on, Tim started going from group to group warning them that the river was now an ebber, in case those that had arrived by boat needed to take their leave before it was too late. When the all guests had left, Tim and Gabriel had to attend to each of the fires in the garden that had been warming the guests looking for any hot ember they could find there. Tim and Gabriel's parents congratulated them and they all headed for bed expecting to have a lie-in the next morning.

The Party in Full Swing

952 - SNAKE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

I'm A bunny and I'm about to tEll you how I'm still alive. First of all, almost everybody thinks I'm just weak prey and it's not that hard surviving as a small rabbit, but it is! And I can tell 'cause I'm a rabbit myself. I mean, it's hard dodging suave, sly foxes, ooh ooh and even worse... a snake! Oh hang on I'm going to have to amend that part; it doesn't make sense. Ah here we are. I'd rather sit on the fence and watch Mr Greyforth snape his bush from getting too big, than be eaten by a predator. Why can't a bunny just enjoy a peaceful life with no one trying to eat them? That is my question. My opinion is that humans or homo s...blah blah or whatever you're called, does not do something about it because from what it looks like, is that we are being chased to our death while you guys sit helplessly from the side-line sipping Pepsi. In the summer I hide out in the shade of Mr Greyforth's oak tree at the back of his garden. Hopefully foxes will just think of me as a shadowy, small shape. I can't have a midday nap because it would be hit-and-miss if I awoke before being caught or not.

The lesson of this message is that humans are useless - they suck at making rabbits less endangered. I hope you take this advice and pass it onto your friends. Remember the simplest way to say it is just we are totally useless to bunny rabbits!

One time when I only just got away

This is my version:

The cruise holidAy company wantEd to build a more unusual ship for their next vessel. They hit on the idea of making a wooden ship. The skilled craftsmen required careful concentration and skill, including having to snape wood that has to abut beam ends. I imagine it would be very difficult to amend the structure if a beam had to be replaced. Once the ship was ready for its first trip, the excited passengers could enjoy the sun and views, or retreat to the shade and nod off. This was the case for Norman who was having a lovely dream when his wife gave him a push. He awoke somewhat startled. "Time to shape your beard, comb your hair (what's left of it anyway) and get dressed properly so that you look the suave bloke that you are and go in for dinner at the captain's table", his wife commanded. The evening was very enjoyable, what with the snake charmer doing some of the entertainment, enjoying the sumptuous food and learning about some of the Captain's adventures.

Preparing for the voyage

951 - ALOOF

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

In Hedgehog HoLlow, everybody wAs either rushing about with supplies or delivering news. It was nearly winter and the hedgehogs had to get everything ready for their hibernation like food, warm beds and pillows. Hedgehog Hollow was split into two parts. One of them was mostly for meetings, speeches, storing foods and for their bells(money) bank. The other part is just lots of room for all the hedgehogs to set up their hibernation equipment. TOOT TOOT! along come the kinder gardeners each carrying a backpack containing one's blanket, one's eye mask, one's sleeping hat, one's water bottle, one's school folder and one's special toy. Their teacher -Mrs Forage - had asked each little hedgehog a random question to test them on their learning. "What is a large group of fish called?" or "8+32= what?" and the kids would answer back... "a shoal of fish" or "40!". Mrs Forage led the children into a medium sized room and wrote with chalk on a blackboard how to set up their hibernation equipment. Oh! In comes grumpy old Mr hard nut. He was a cold man, aloof and distant. Suddenly the leader of hedgehog Hollow's detective/right hand hedgehog dashed across the hall and into the leader's office looking worried. "The rope went slack!" he panted, wiping his forehead.

Hedgehog Hollow residents

This is my version:

Lemmings was invented by a team of Scottish computer games creators. The games are quite addictive. The Lemmings never slack at their allotted tasks and at the end of the game you hope to chalk up a better score than last time. Lemmings are a bit like a shoal of fish going along in the same direction until they hit an obstacle of some sort. Lemmings are all equally capable - no one is originally more capable, or stands aloof from the others. It was one of the most popular computer games of the 1990s. Nowadays it uses very little of modern computers etc and you can even play the original game in a browser: Play Lemmings.

Typical 1990s Lemmings screen

950 - BLOCK

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Fox wAs taking a morning stroLl with Badger. It was winter and almost everything was either frozen or snowed on. Even the peaceful pond was like a block of ice! It was very noisy the morning Fox and Badger went on their stroll because all the animals were talking about the snow and ice that took place over night. It's like a big white blanket as white as a cloud had been laid on Woodville overnight!

Frost, snow and ice on Woodville

This is my version:

ALl of a sudden the metal roof of the warehouse became very noisy as the dark, almost black, cloud above shed its moisture as rain and hail. Having completed his purchases he held back from taking them to the car until he could wait no longer. He put up his coat's hood in an attempt to block the rain and ran for the car. He was drenched, as were his purchases.

Heavy black raincloud

949 - RELIC

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

In thE summeR, there are more nuts about and more pLants and food growing. The perfect opportunity for squirrels to gather and bury their nuts ready for the winter. This particular squirrel, who happened to be a bit smarter than the other squirrels, was just clutching his shiny new acorn. Although he was smart, he wasn’t smart enough to realise that the acorn could start growing in the ground or that he might not remember where he buried it. While he was trying to dig a hole to place his acorn in, his paws hit something hard and metal. It was a relic. "Better show it to Blathers the owl! He’s quite knowledgeable ya know!", thought squirrel feeling pleased. Then he went off and buried his acorn rather untidily and went off to see Blathers.

Caption

This is my version:

TyLER had invited some friends round to watch the football. One of his visitors, Naomi, noticed a framed battered spoon displayed on a shelf. "What's that spoon Tyler", she asked. "Oh that old relic", replied Tyler, "it used to belong to one of my relatives who bequeathed it to his youngest child with the obligation to pass it on to their youngest and so on.

Spoon Relic

948 - STILL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

“MoLe? We are heading over To hear Squirrel’s speech!”, called Mole’s mum hurriedly. “I’m still doing my Dogman comic!” answered Mole back. Mole and his family lived underneath the tilty tree. The tree was first just an ordinary maple tree, but 5 years ago, an enormous storm took place and bent the poor tree. Mole toils on his drawing. After Squirrels’ long speech, the mole family went home for dinner. “Who ate the cheesy pasta in the fridge? It was meant to be for tonight!”, asked mum mole, after looking in the fridge. “I hope you feel the guilt because now we have no dinner!” Mum stared at Dad and he blushed.

Tilted Maple Tree

This is my version:

Eric had recentLy had a life-Transforming time. He had been enjoying a care-free life when one day he was struck by a poorly driven car and had had a touch and go time in hospital. Most days his friend Charles would visit. During the periods of Eric's unconsciousness, Charles would sing to him songs of hope and deliverance such as John Newton's hymn 'Amazing Grace'. This included the verse:
Through many dangers, toils and snares
We have already come
'Twas grace has brought us safe thus far
And grace will lead us home
When Eric regained consciousness, he was quite anxious about his strange surroundings, including the tilty bed that had been essential to his recovery. Charles was so pleased for Eric and explained what had happened. Initially Eric had got very angry with the careless driver and what he would do to him or her if he ever met them. But the songs that Charles had been singing had highlighted Eric's own guilt for the wrong things he had done in life to date. He asked Charles about the guilt he felt and Charles explained the message of the Gospel of Jesus to him. He prayed with Charles for him to accept God's forgiveness. All the rage and turmoil in Eric became still as God's Spirit washed over him. Now he wanted to meet the car driver to thank them for his conversion!

Portrayal of John Newton

947 - TWEAK

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

From ThE wAy I see it is that no one takes any notice of a lazy house cat like me. My name is Rocky and I live a normal life with about 0% of adventure. Today is the 11th of May and on the 11th of any month the plumber comes to tweak all the pipes. Every Saturday, Jim, my owner, would have a meaty lunch like a hamburger or a hotdog unlike Sara, my other owner, who would just have a cheese sandwich and a pack of cheese and onion crisps. Sara works almost every day except Sundays. I'm guessing that her favourite thema of books is adventure. Tomorrow, Jim is going to drive a stake into our garden. He's planning to build a shed. Jim always take sooooooooo long to build stuff. 4 years ago, he tried to build a bench but that took 3 years! I'm guessing that this shed of his is going to take about.........7 years. I think Sara will be angry because she has been telling Jim to build a shed for 2 years already. She's saying that because I'm pretty sure that she's getting bored of the bags of soil and the emergency cat food being out in the open. Especially with guests.

Rocky taking it all in

This is my version:

AT thE stroke of noon, Professor Cassidy strode into the lecture hall. Since this was the umpteenth time he'd given this lecture, he knew well what the thema of it was, so he had few notes to work from. His students were generally attentive (with a few exceptions, possibly those that had had a hearty, meaty meal). In the evening, the Prof liked a break from all this academic work and set to driving a heavy stake or two into his large garden in an attempt to prevent the earth bank from sliding down more. (It would take several weeks to get them all in place.) After that, he had to return to his academia and make a tweak or two to his notes for his next lecture which he had given less often.

Professor Cassidy giving his well-known lecture

946 - NORTH

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One wonderful, sunny moRning, Luna was teaching Chip and Chilli how to fly. The practice route was North to Mrs Marie's (who is a pious bird) then to Ren's house - Chip and Chilli thought of him as a moron - then finally, the old oak tree. Luna said it would be worth it and it was!

Come on Chip and Chilli - time to fly

This is my version:

PatRick lived in Dorset leading, what some would describe as, a pious life. In reality, the 'pious' look was more for show; no one noticed the minor thieving he did when no one suspected! On one occasion, whilst there was a distraction in a pet shop, Patrick stole a large aquarium; nobody noticed until locking up time! Cool as a cucumber, the next day he went back to the shop and bought a moron (a type of dark-coloured salamander) and some other equipment for looking after it. Although it had grieved him to have to spend money of it all, he felt it was worth it, as he'd had a desire to own one for about 10 years. A year later, he became uneasy about all the dishonest gain in this town, fearing he might get caught, and he decided to find a house 300 miles north of his current house. He hoped his salamander would survive the journey.

Patrick's Salamander

945 - LARGE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

I feeL worried. My nAme is TigER, I’m an indoor/outdoor cat and live with my partner, Cece, who has just had kittens! 5 of them! Their names are Puss, Lion, Kitty, Melody and Dot. The problem is, before I was a house cat, I lived in an ally with 3 other mates. The most skilled was Buster and the other two - one fat and one skinny- weren’t as skilled. One day, while I was out foraging for leftovers, I spotted Cece and was invited to join her family. Buster was mad when I told him and he let me know it. So now I just wish he wouldn’t see me 'cause I’ve got the kittens to think about now. Our owners, Mr and Mrs Walton, own a large house with a huge garden. There’s a room just for us cats too!

From Alley to Kittens to Care for

This is my version:

LArry was hElping his childRen, Lucy and Peter, to learn about sea mammals. Initially the kids had been surprised that animals that breathed air and fed their young by suckling them could live entirely in the sea, as some types do. Larry got them interested in the five types of sea mammals: pinnipeds, cetaceans, sea otters, sirenians and polar bears. "What do you think are the smallest sea mammal", Larry asked. "Sea otters", answered Lucy. "Yes, that's right; an adult can weigh as little as 15kg. Can you think of a really large one?" Peter flung his arms out wide and eagerly pronounced "Blue Whale". "Yes, in fact that's the largest of them and they can weigh up to 136,000kg", said Larry. Lucy then wrote a story about a family of sea otters and drew a cartoon of them floating upside down on the water eating fish and chips with one of them passing another the vinegar.

Sea Otters enjoying their fish & chips

944 - THING

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

I’m a farm caT and live with my owners, Farmer Collie and Tabitha Collie. (Oh, and if you're wondering what my name is, it's Mia). The farm that we live on is called Fox Tree Farm. It's got cows, pigs, horses, chickens, sheep, a rooster and Peter, the farm dog also known as a Border collie. I try to stay away from him as much as possible because well, he’s a DOG. Today I woke up at 6:00 in the morning, as usual, and went down stairs. Farmer Collie is always up 30 mins after me (6:30) and Tabitha is up at 7:00. Usually, in the mornings, I just wait on the dining table but today I just had to look out the window because it was more noisy than usual. Peter was barking like mad and I could see why. There was a stray cat jumping all over the farm! Then, that naughty thing jumped onto Rose, the horse, and sent her neighing which set off the cows! Farmer Collie was up in a flash (and 25 mins early too!) It was over in 20 mins but Peter growled at me as if to say, ‘Well you weren’t much help then were you?’ But I just rolled my eyes and went to sip my milk. 3 mins later, Tabitha came down but Farmer Collie just pretended that nothing had happened.

Part of the action at Fox Tree Farm

This is my version:

OuTside our kitchen window was a noisy thing digging up the ground. (Any similarity to real happenings is quite deliberate!)

Noisy pneumatic drill on digger

943 - STOLE

WaLTEr Harringay Stoppleford came from an elite family. He looked down his nose at people like Will (see 941 - BLOND) who had a humble life. When out and about Walter always dressed smartly. Today he was wearing a smart suit adorned by a cravat and stole. No one suspected him when he stole a hat from the outdoor market stall. Meanwhile Will was in his neatly tended garden checking the strawberries. For each plant he carefully looked for a stole, removing it if he found any so that the plant would remain strong and not crowded.

Will cutting of a stole to plant up

941 - BLOND

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

I'm a dog, and I Live with my owners, Nelly and Elizabeth. My name is Chewy because I am always chewing things. I also live with this other dog called Fluffball. Elizabeth came up with all these other names for her like Pom-pom, Snowball, Cloudpuff, and all these other adorable names (I think she liked Fluffball best). Fluffball is basically a ball of fluff! She was once mistaken for a Pom-pom! Elizabeth is going to her friend Lydia's house today, she has blond hair and has a pious family. Nelly took Fluffball and I out for a walk today as well. The flowers are starting to bloom, I noticed. The only thing that spoilt our day was that a car had annoyingly parked across our driveway, or as Nelly would say it, "looks like someone decided to block our driveway!"

Caption

This is my version:

WiLl was self-employed although he didn't have much work. That didn't bother him as he was a keen gardener. This year he was establishing a bed of monks hood flowers. The flowers have what might be described as a monk's hood giving them a pious look. They were a lovely sight when in bloom. When handling them Will had to wear gloves to block any contact with the plants as all parts of them are very poisonous. Because he was out in the sunshine a lot, his hair colour remained blond even though he was about 60.

Monkshood flowers

940 - LUNCH

The cricket team's pLay that morning had been, not to put too finer point on it, lousy. The Scorer keeping the scoreboard up to date had so little to do that he was able to tinker with the linux code of his latest project whilst doing his Scorer's duty. By lunch the team were all out. It wasn't a great day for the team.

Disappointed Cricket Team

939 - DOING

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Badger was going to Blue bird’s house for lunch. Mole was also heading to blue bird's house. Everybody loved going to Blue bird’s house because she was so good at cooking. Mole got there first but was dazed cause he had bashed his head on flat-mound-rock. Badger came 5 mins later and climbed up Blue bird’s tree. When he opened the door, Mole was sitting at the table with an ice cube on his head. Badger sat down too and asked, “what ya doing today?” “Well,” answered back blue bird while turning up the heat on the cooker, “Steak and cabbage for the main course and dandelion and buttercup cupcakes for dessert “. “Yum”, grinned Mole. The steak sizzled on the pan while Blue bird got 3 plates out. “ What a noisy cooker! “ complemented Badger while Blue bird brang over the plates of food.

Lunch at Blue bird's hpuse

This is my version:

Sandra came into the house, grateful to be out of the cold. But once she'd got her coat, gloves, scarf and boots off she became aware of the rumpus in the lounge. She opened the door to find a scene of chaos. "What's the meaning of this noisy going on", she bellowed. "We're just doing our homework", said Ellie hopefully, speaking for herself and Kylie. "I doubt the noise and untidying of the room was part of your homework and I doubt whether you got much done either.", she surmised, "There's no dinner until the homework is complete and in silence and the room is tidied.", Sandra said as she left the room.

Ellie and Kylie messing about

938 - HEARD

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Domino wAs a mousE that lived at the bottom of Mr Dill’s gaRden. Mr Dill was forty-six and had a dog called Angus. He’s a Border collie and hears and smells everything. He once smelled the wreak of the rotten onions Mr Dill had thrown away! Domino’s Grandad used to go in the house a lot but Angus always heard him whether he was trying to reach for a cookie or trying to fish out a sugar cube. Once Domino’s Grandad took a dog biscuit! Angus had to spare him for that.

Angus and Domino's Grandad

This is my version:

"Here is some rAndom wisdom for thE cuRious. If you have no spare tyre in your car and you have a puncture but try to carry on driving you will probably wreak havoc with the wheel at least. You may also damage other parts of the car. And you are most unlikely to reach your destination. So don't do it." Let's hope that someone hears this and acts on it. I also heard some other excellent wisdom which I will pass on another day.

Flat Tyre Damage

937 - ROUTE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Ziggy was a squirrel and liked to keep fiT. Ziggy wasn’t just fit but sEnsible and clever. One moRning, she decided to go on a treck up the mountain. She took her hand-sewn backpack and packed inside a delicious lunch, a flag, (for when she had made it to the top) and a big piece of bark. Then she planned her route. Ziggy walked through the Friendly forest till she got to her starting point - which was the bottom of Mount Chipmunk - “Lets do this!” Ziggy thought to herself as she stood on a mossy rock. On her first try, she failed and on her second try it didn’t go too well either. “Humph! this is like having to resit a maths exam!”, exclaimed Ziggy. But Ziggy wasn’t just any old squirrel, she was a determined squirrel. So, on her third try, Ziggy huffed and puffed till she was red in the face but it was worth it cause guess what? SHE MADE IT!!! “Finally!”, she declared, feeling proud and pleased. She placed her maple leaf flag on the top of the mountain as she beamed with pride. “And now...” smiled Ziggy, “Time for my lunch!”. Sighing happily, she opened her bag and took out a dandelion sandwich, an apple and a box of walnuts. Then, after she had finished, Ziggy took out the big piece of bark and set it on its back. And can you guess what happened next? She put her bag on her back and jumped on the piece of bark. The bark tilted and leaned forward till Ziggy was sliding down the mountain and calling, “WOO HOO!” and, “YAY! This is so fun!”. Now at the bottom of Mount Chipmunk, Ziggy walked back though the Friendly forest and noticed all the wonderful colours on the leaves, she also noticed how quickly she drank when she was thirsty.

Ziggy's adventure

This is my version:

It was a key TimE foR Aaron. In the summer his life was in a bit of a mess and for the English and maths exams he'd only obtained a grade 4. In November he sat nervously in the exam room waiting to resit his English and maths exams. In English he looked at the first question. It was to write a short story describing a long distance treck over arduous conditions. Since Aaron had actually done something similar, it was easy for him to do. This gave him confidence for the rest of the exam and he felt pleased with the final result. In the maths exam, he had to find the best route on a graph of nodes and vertices using Dijkstra’s algorithm. This had been one of the hardest subjects for him to grasp so he had done a lot of revision for it. Because it was fresh in his mind, he was soon able to solve the question and go onto the next.

Aaron resitting his maths exam

936 - BRIEF

Donald is an avid DIYER. This morning, even straight after he'd risen, he'd started planning his next project - which screw to use, which part of the garden needed to be roped off etc. As he finished his breakfast, the delivery arrived and he helped the driver lift the heavy crate through the house to the back. With eager anticipation he pried off the lid. The instructions seemed all greek to him at first. Just then his bank phoned to say that he was overdrawn. Donald hadn't realised how much his recent spending spree had been. Annoyingly he had to break off from his project to move some money around to bring his bank balance out of the red. "Baked spud for lunch", he thought when he'd finished that and he washed a baking potato and placed it on a pyrex dish and set the oven to finish cooking at lunchtime. As he went back to the garden, he paused briefly to enjoy watching a blackbird preen itself. Suddenly the bird cried out its alarm call as the local cat came round the corner. "Oh bother", muttered Donald to himself. "I need to get my washing drying. I hope it dries before the rain comes." After a while getting to know the contents of his delivery and gradually deciphering the instruction, assembly started. By lunchtime things were shaping up nicely and he had his lunch of baked potato with fried mushrooms and aubergine. The afternoon saw good progress with only a few small details to finish the next day. In celebration he went for a MacDonalds with fries. When he got home he had a brief phone conversation with his wife, who was spending a fortnight with her Mum and Dad in Spain.

Donald at work

935 - THREW

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

OncE a fox, always a fox. I’m a fox, as you can see, and I live in Mr Tom’s gaRden and shelter in his shed. Mr Tom is old and never looks in his shed so that's where I live. I get food from the house next door that belongs to Mr and Mrs Wade with their three children : Charlie, Georgie and Lexie. My food comes from them because they have this Cockapoo called chewy and they always leave him a sausage in his food bowl but he doesn’t eat it so I do. Its night now and that's when I start my day. I reset my brain to night schedule and hop through the hole in the fence. The scent of sausage wafted through the air to my nose. I threw myself towards the smell and had my dinner. Then, suddenly, a light switched on in the house and a window opened. Mr Wade’s voice was heard saying: “Yes Lexie has got her prescription for her strep“. Well I don’t know what he’s talking about but I’m getting tired so, I’ll just get back to the shed.

Mr Fox and the shed

This is my version:

Here are some of ThE dRawbacks of the various seasons of the year. In Winter, when the weather is cold and the days are short, people spend more time indoors than they do when the weather is warm and the days are longer. In part because of this, the incidence of strep sore throats rises. And then when the summer approaches, people have to cope with the consequences of checking each clock and to ~reset those that don't have automatic adjustment. And, of course, with less sleep, some people are tired the next day or two. As summer gets under way, there is the risk of litter as careless people, who habitually threw away empty cans and the like, are out more. In contrast to these drawbacks there's lots to take pleasure in during these same seasons.

Litter

934 - LINER

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

A famiLy of micE lived on a medium sized ship. It was the middle of winteR and almost everybody was shivering. One morning, it was busier than usual. Instead of fishermen coming with their nets, lots more people came with woolly coats and backpacks. Even an army lifer was there to make sure all was safe. The mice were surprised that even the loner from around the corner was trying to stowaway. Why were there so many people? Was it important? The mice pondered. The family were made up of a Mother and Father, a Daughter, a Son and a Baby mouse. Their names were Michelle, Adam, Kitty, Copper and Donny. They lived on the lower part of the ship. There was a bump as they set sail and an hour later, an ocean liner honked by. Kitty was told to hold baby Donny while Copper and her parents went to investigate. She was a liker of babies.

Mouse on Boat

This is my version:

The foLk on thE stReet couldn't work out what it was about the new resident, Henry. Some thought he was just a loner. More sinister rumours were that he was an escaped lifer. But Mrs Peters wouldn't have any of these. She made an effort to befriend Henry. After a couple of months they were good friends. Mrs Peters' reputation was now that of a liker and she became very popular. Those with a lower reputation of Henry were gradually raising their thoughts about Henry. When it was time for the street party, they were all out there in good spirits with each other. Folk were keen to get to know Henry and learn about his fascinating past career. He could tell them many tales about his 20 years of being the captain of an ocean liner.

The Street Party

933 - FINAL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version with her artwork:

“Why I do believe that it’s the final day of the year!" gasped Martha suddenly looking at her phone. “Um yeh! I mean how did you not know? It's like the first thing that should come into your mind!”, cried her brother rolling his eyes. They were staying in a posh hotel called ‘The slain Dragon’ and they were now in the restaurant waiting for their dinner. They were in Florida, Martha, John, Cassie, Mama and Baba. For dinner, Martha, John and Cassie had salmon nestled in lettuce and dotted with salad dressing, Mama and Baba had a mackerel enrobed with salad. The waitress told us that the fishermen were surrounded by a shoal of fish when they caught these. For dessert, they all had a mouth-watering apple pie with whipped cream. As they bit into it, the thick, velvety cream (that had been piped on ever so neatly) and the chunks of apple melted on their tongues, all they could say was “mmm” until all their plates were empty! John even licked his plate clean! After they had left the restaurant, they all trotted back to their hotel room since it was getting dark. Once they were inside, the children slumped onto the double bed. “Nothing like the plain old Premier Inn!”, sighed mama closing the satin curtains. ”Agreed!”, said baba while closing the other crimson curtains. Mama's phone rang as the old song with the fugal finale played.

On holiday in Florida

This is my version:

A Long time Ago the villagers were in dread of the nearby dragon, so much so that they had very restricted scope for farming or foraging and were frequently hungry. The village chief called a meeting as a result of which a group of strong people set off to find the dragon. When the dragon had been slain the village rejoiced. Once the celebrations had finished it became plain to them that they needed to expand their farming and foraging areas. A couple of brothers went exploring and came across a lake. They managed to catch one fish which they cautiously ate. Living off the occasional fish meant they could explore the area. Then they thought about better ways to get some of the fish in the lake for the village. They learnt so much, including how to build a boat and make nets. Eventually it was time for the test. They rowed out into the lake and lowered their nets. After what seemed like an age, the net became really heavy as a shoal of fish were caught in it. Somehow they managed to get the catch back to the village. Everyone was pleased to see them, though they were most curious about what they'd brought back, never having come across fish before. The village cooks set to and found out how best to cook or preserve the fish. That evening the village had a scrumptious meal. The musicians started leading the villagers in celebration, playing fugal music which they had recently got the hang of. The final event of the evening was the honouring of the two brothers.

Caption

932 - STONY

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One wonderful, sunny morning, Badger was awaking from his slumber. Squirrel came down from her Tree holding a brand-new acorn. They were meeting up with Fox to discuss their problem. Everyday they would walk down to the watering hole (or as we would call it, the pond) for a drink but it would always be packed full of the chipmunks who lived in the maple tree by the friendly forest. The chipmunks were either drinking or swimming (it was usually 10 doing each since there were 20 altogether). There wasn’t even a little space to just dip your tongue in. Then, after giving up trying to drink, they would trot over to the oak tree for food. It was like a full time business there! The family of squirrels living there, also worked there! The tree was hollow and filled with fruit and different kinds of berries. Animals would wait in queue and the passing squirrel would toss them a berry for breakfast or a nut for lunch. Clever right?!! But still there's a problem. No matter what time of day it is, those noisy, annoying chipmunks would be there. After their discussion, Badger, Squirrel and Fox went for their usual morning stroll along the stony path.

Animal get-together

This is my version:

IT had been a busy, day couped up in the office hammering out the final details of the new contract with the customer, all the while with the noisy rumbling and clattering in the background. All he wanted to do was get home. But when he got close to where he'd parked his car he stood in stony silence, his jaw dropped, as he spied his car surrounded by the floodwater. He'd had better days than this, he thought.

Flooded car

931 - CABLE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

The head teacher, Mrs CamiLo, wAs conEcting the cable ready for the school assembly. She had set up a PowerPoint for the upcoming 20 minutes. The PowerPoint had a fable on it about a sable and the wind. The wind damaged the gable which the sable was living under. And that taught the sable not to say that the weather was worthless, useless and didn’t do anything. Then Miss Smith’s class started coming in.

Mrs Camilo

This is my version:

Sir LAncElot climbed up the steps and onto his sable steed, Oliver, to set out on another mission. Oliver gave him his lance and Sir L galloped off. Coming round a bend he mistook the gable end of a house for his adversary - he lowered his lance and charged. To his shock he found himself on the floor with his lance sticking out of the wall. "I must stop reading these drafts of Don Quixote's exploits", he muttered to himself as he achingly rose to his feet. "The stories are surely a fable", he thought. Since he was rather beaten up by his tumble, he had to ask Francis, the house owner, to help him back up onto Oliver. This was easier said than done, what with the absence of suitable steps and the weight of the armour. Francis took them to the other end of the house where there was a multi-wheel set of pullies and a cable so that Sir L could, rather unceremoniously, be hauled on to Oliver. Once Sir L got back home he had to pay the lance maker to build a new one for him whilst he went off to ask Queen Guinevere to nurse his wounds.

Sir Lancelot Painting

930 - LUNGE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

"On the teLEvision!" shouted Dad. They were having a family TV night. Zac, Lottie, Alex and Chloe. Zac, Alex and Dad wanted to watch football. Lottie and Chloe wanted to watch the romantic film, but mum said since we all want different things, we should just watch the quiz show. Everyone was silent after that. The TV was switched on and there was a scene from a cartoon showing. The channel was switched to the quiz and the first question was asked. "Which animal is smarter? Dogs, cats, geese or pigs?" The contestants, who were Barbara, Nikki, Sam and Ricky, each gave their answer. Barbara said cats, Nikki said dogs, Sam said geese and Ricky said dogs. The family each gave their own opinions. Mum paused the TV so they could think slowly. Zac and Alex said dogs, Lottie and Chloe said cats. "You might opine that dogs are more preferable than cats!" said Lottie. Dad chose geese and mum chose pigs. The TV was switched back on and the answer was revealed. "Pigs!" shouted the man reading out the questions. "Told ya!" smirked mum. The children started complaining and Zac even tried to grab the remote! Mum had to lunge for it so he didn't break it.

They all got the next question right

This is my version:

Once more the heaviLy armEd gaggle of geese came onto the scene. The farmer and his helpers ran for cover. "What shall we do", quivered the farmer - I'm scared. The farmhands all looked bemused and the tension rose. The talking sheepdog, who'd kept silent up till now, said "Well I opine that we should wait till they get closer and then to throw this big net out of the top window onto them. Then, when they are distracted we lunge at them from all sides and disarm them."

One of the geese

929 - SCANT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Leo wAs in Grade 3. Mr Thompson was teaching them about protesting. The people in Leo’s class were all very different. Jack ate food at a terrific speed and had an amazing appetite, but an everlasting stain of orange juice down his polo shirt. Martin always falls asleep in class and blames Mr Thompson’s boring voice. Naomi is very quiet and always says nice compliments about people. Callie is the mean one. She whispers behind people’s backs and calls them names with her 2 closest friends, Ava and Natalie. Dennis and Hugo play under the table at lesson times. Maria is very pretty and has long blond hair. Lottie and Anna are always talking together, they do gymnastics on the grass at lunch times. And Diago is known in the class for being the one who pays the least attention. Last week I heard Mr Thompson talking to the head teacher that Diago pays scant attention to the facts during class.

Mr Thompson's Class

This is my version:

MAlcolm Took no pride in his appearance, much to his Mum's exasperation. Today he was due to go for an interview for a part-time job. At the breakfast table Malcolm spilled some baked beans over his shirt creating a distinct stain. His Mum was horrified as Malcolm wiped the worst of it off, and with scant regard for his appearance, went to put his coat and shoes on. "Not so fast", growled his Mum in a way that stopped Malcolm in his tracks. "There's no way you're going to an interview dressed like that", she said, "go and change your shirt". Sheepishly, Malcolm went upstairs to change, before heading to the interview, having been 'passed' by his Mum.

Malcolm's interview shirt

928 - TWIRL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Rhianna was at a paRtner’s disco parTy. The music had just started and aLl her friends began to twist and twirl, all except her. The invitation had said:

Dear Rhianna, You are invited to Dorothy’s disco party. You will need a glittery outfit, sparkly high heels, your hair up in a cute, tight, plaited bun and, a (smudged word). Dorothy

Rhianna was sure that the smudged word on the invitation had said parrot. And now her friends had started dancing and she didn’t have a partner! Not to mention a caged parrot on the snack table that she had brought! The caged bird launched into a piercing trill and also tried to steal the bowl of cheese curls.

Parrot

This is my version:

In the village Lived a naTuRe-loving woman called Maggie. Not only did she have a lovely, well-tended garden, but she kept bees and created specialist areas in the garden to encourage a variety of wildlife. She had built up a close relationship with the garden robin who was usually close to her. This year, when she paused to have her afternoon cuppa out of her thermos flask, she managed to train the robin to make a trill sound on command. Her friends were impressed. Next year she also trained the robin to do a twirl on command. Word got around and one day, to her surprise, there was a reporter and tech crew at her door asking for an interview and to film her with the robin.

The robin learning how to do the tricks