Friday 31 May 2024

1076 - GUMMY

It was young Joshua's 7th birthday and present opening had started. The room was getting noisy with all the ripping open of wrapping, whoops of delight and so on. The tin of sweets were just too attractive to ignore and the word 'yummy' was used a lot as each type of sweet in turn was tried out. There was even one shaped like a baby's dummy, though it didn't last very long. Eventually he started a very gummy one which rather calmed the proceedings as he couldn't take on any more sweets!

Joshua's birthday sweets
Joshua's birthday sweets

Thursday 30 May 2024

1075 - PAPAL

Luigi wAs a tenant farmer who ran a dairy herd which turned a solid profit every year. He was often asked who the farm landlord was, but he always refused to say. (His wife, of course, knew that the landlord was the papacy.) One day the bull got stuck in the small disused canal that ran through the farm. A vet and some nearby farmers came to help release the trapped animal. All was well and the animal was declared unharmed by the vet. Later that evening Luigi's wife remarked "Well you could say you saved the Papal bull today".

The apostolic constitution Magni aestimamus issued as a papal bull by Pope Benedict XVI in 2011
The apostolic constitution Magni aestimamus issued as a papal bull by Pope Benedict XVI in 2011

Wednesday 29 May 2024

1074 - MINUS

She was quite happy this morning as she sat there eating her cornflakes. That is, until her husband arrived all bunged up with the season's first heavy cold. Within a minute the kitchen became very noisy as he attempted to clear the sinus cavities in his nose. "Right, as soon as I'm ready, I'm off to Lidl on my own. I would rather be minus you (with that racket) next to me. I'll stay out for lunch as well - you'll have to fend for yourself."

The husband blowing his nose loudly
The husband blowing his nose loudly

Tuesday 28 May 2024

1073 - SKIER

ThE manoR house was a strange place. In one room there was a lot of sound. Each worker in there is a sewer, with their sewing machines hard at work, combining to make the racket. Outside a cricket match was in full swing. The batsman had just hit a sixer which went so far that it rolled down the hill to a sheer cliff down to the river below. The match was in some confusion about which cricket ball to choose to take its place. In the end the umpire placed the balls in his hands, holding them behind his back. the team captains tossed a coin 5 times and the captain that got the most heads got to choose which hand contained the ball to continue the match with! Upstairs in the manor was a furtive looking young man watching through a telescope at the army training ground and writing notes on what he saw. The butler came into the room with the afternoon tea. He asked how the budding spier was getting on. "Do you think you'll make a good spy one day?", asked the butler. "Shh, don't tell anyone", was the retort. Out in one of the outhouses, another man was checking the state of his skiing equipment ready for him to join his skier friend as they headed to the Alps next Friday.

He hit a sixer
He hit a sixer

Monday 27 May 2024

1072 - BEVEL

It was earLy morning on markEt day. One of those who plied their trades or goods was a carpenter. Although he was a very good carpenter, he had a speech defect. He only used one vowel for every word! So conversations like this would take place: "I say, old fellow, I need a shelf made in my house. Can you do that for me?" "Wha cartanla; wha da ya lav?" A deal was struck and the following Wednesday the carpenter arrived at the house and produced a lovely shelf. The house owner checked the finished item and remarked "O, golly gosh, that's beautifully made. It's spot on level and the bevel edge is a nice touch".

The finished shelf
The finished shelf

Sunday 26 May 2024

1071 - TITAN

Abe loves invesTigating, looking for clues and hidden treasure. One day he finds an old exercise book which doesn't look very interesting, especially as none of it makes much sense. "Here Dad, what's this book saying? What's cotan - I thought it was spelled 'cotton'." His Dad looks at it for a second and replies "Oh that's my missing school trigonometry book. Where did you find it?", he asks, looking delighted. "I found it in the attic", replies Abe. Just then Mum calls out "Lunch time. We have pitta breads for lunch with falafels or cheese." Dad puts the trig book with the others and they all head for the dining table. "I learned today that Lagos in Nigeria is the titan of cities in Africa having an estimated population of about 9 million", remarks Mum. Abe and Dad stop eating. "Why do you say that?", asked Dad. Mum just shrugs her shoulders; they get back to eating lunch.

Graph of cotangent (cotan)
Graph of cotangent (cotan)

Saturday 25 May 2024

1070 - GLIDE

AdeLaidE dressed for the dance night at the village hall. "Ooh, you look lovely. Bless you", cooed her Mum. Adelaide was sure she would be the belle of the dance tonight.. But sadly, on her way there she slipped on some slime on the footpath and landed on her back feeling miserable. A dear oldie from the village helped her up. "That was quite a slide there, my dear", he said. "come on in to our house and my wife will clean you up." After her care from the couple, Adelaide's smile crept back and as she was able after all to glide into the dance hall. There was quite a few noises of appreciation and Adelaide had no end of partners for the dances!

Adelaide
Adelaide

Friday 24 May 2024

1069 - SWISH

"Right, Barnaby. that's enough", said Mum, "You're far too noisy. It's time for us to go for a walk through the woods to the moor." So they set off into the adjacent wood for a walk. Mum had told Barnaby that he should keep quiet and listen to the sounds of the wood. As they came out onto the moor there was a swish, swish sound. They stood dead in their tracks as they found they were just behind a Dartmoor pony swishing its tail to ward off flies. They crept back into the wood. "It wouldn't be a good idea to startle the pony", advised Mum, "let's head home now."

The Dartmoor pony
The Dartmoor pony

Thursday 23 May 2024

1068 - EXALT

A furious sheep breeder caLled AnThony visitEd the police station and kicked up a big fuss about his stolen tup. Because Anthony was a big name in the district, the police sergeant felt obliged to act on the theft. He dispatched three of his constables to see what they could find. PC 1047 patrolled the harbour looking for anything that might help. As he watched a boat having the mooring rope undone from the cleat, he heard the bleat of a sheep from the boat. He quickly intervened, managing to secure the boat again and detain the man. "I suspect you are the man who decided to steal Anthony's tup which I am pretty sure is on your boat.", said the PC, as he put the man in handcuffs. PC 1047 radioed for assistance and the thief was escorted to the police station and the boat searched. All the while the thief protested his innocence, but PC 1047 told him he would be dealt with properly by the law to establish his guilt. Meanwhile, Anthony was called to the boat to identify the tup. Anthony was delighted to meet his tup and wrote a letter to exalt the police for their prompt action.

Anthony's tup
Anthony's tup

Wednesday 22 May 2024

1067 - DINGO

Greta was an unusual woman. The people of Tenant Creek where Greta lived thought she was quite pious because of her regular church attendance and involvement with community projects to help others. She was a widow of about 15 years. The thing that was most puzzling and that didn't seem to fit her character was the pet dingo that she could be seen walking every day. Most people gave her a wide berth when encountering Greta. Others were angry that she should be keeping a wild animal as a pet.

Australian Dingo
Australian Dingo

Tuesday 21 May 2024

1066 - NICER

BERt was a miner. When he walked home from his shift, he looked like he was someone to steer clear of, what with his big frame, strong muscles and blackened face. But if you got to talk to him you'd realise that you couldn't have been talking to a nicer bloke.

Bert leaving the mine
Bert leaving the mine

Monday 20 May 2024

1065 - HITCH

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

Timmy and Tommy were going to stay at Marnwell Farm for four days. They each had packed in their twin-like suitcases, shirts, T‑shirts, sweaters, jumpers, socks, jeans, joggers, hats, brushes, tooth-brushes and paste, books, a snuggly toy each, P‑Js, a mirror, spare shoes, welly boots, slippers and coats. (Not to mention dressing gowns) they were both very excited for their holiday. "Wait, how are we going to get there!", Tommy asked suddenly. "Oh! I really hadn't thought of that! Oh dear, that will we do now?", Timmy said anxiously. "I know!", said Tommy clicking his fingers, "We could ask Mrs Tibbs if we could hitch a ride to the farm? In her pick-up truck perhaps, I think she'd be more than happy to!" "Yes but if she's not too busy though. she has to take eight people to the the football pitch tonight," Timmy said. But they asked anyway and arranged for her to pick them up at half-past four. Ten minutes before they were to head off to the farm, they did a last minute check. Umbrellas, picnic mat and basket, sunglasses, water bottles and packed lunches for they were to have their lunch in the car. Then they hopped into Mrs Tibbs' truck and set off for the farm. When they arrived at the farm, which had in big letters, MARNWELL FARM, it was very noisy since it was the animals' lunch time. The first to greet them at the gate was a playful border collie. Then Mrs Potts came along. "Hallo, had a nice journey? Ol' Bill's been very excited to meet ya! Aint 'e'! There is bitch over 'ere. Yep ya are Missie! Mind the ditch by the 'orn fields and I'll take ya to ya room", boomed Mrs Potts in her farm-ish accent. She led them up a staircase into a medium-sized room. The walls had been painted a creamy colour, two beds with bedside tables and lamps and drink coasters, a wooden chest of draws, a wardrobe, a big mirror, a nice rug, hammocks if wanted, two armchairs, a small coffee table, plenty of shelves for books, pretty plants, nice pictures on the walls, a balcony with a lovely view of the farm and a clean bathroom with white towels hung ready for them. "What a lovely place!", Timmy gasped. "We chose well Tim," Tommy grinned. "Look! There's even a fireplace!", Timmy exclaimed, delighted. They unpacked and came downstairs for a marvellous supper. 'simply stunning!' thought Tommy after his fifth homemade scone.

Timmy & Tommy's scrumptious supper
Timmy & Tommy's scrumptious supper

This is my version:

Suddenly, iT became very noisy outside, close to the house. Finney went out to investigate and, to his dismay, he found that a ditch was being dug blocking off his car from being driven away. Finney was not at all happy about this and went into his garage, returning brandishing a pitch fork. His bitch, Nellie, was by his side and was barking loudly. The brave foreman came over and explained that they had to dig the trench to access a burst water main. Finney was calmed a little by this knowledge but he didn't fancy hanging around all day with this going on. He grabbed some things and set off with Nellie for a few days, travelling by hitch hiking. After a week he returned to a quiet house again and told his family and friends what a wonderful time he'd had away😊. (He did also send copies of his B&B receipts to the water company asking for the money! He did get an apology and a partial reimbursement.)

The trench
The trench

Sunday 19 May 2024

1064 - BRINY

It was a wild night for Ross. Quite a few pints had been consumed and Ross was trying to eat some pasta. "Why has this fork got only one prong - I'm sure it had four when I came in here." slurred Ross. "You're drunk Ross.", explained Pete who had been less consumptive, "We need to sober you up. Come on lads, let's give him a dunk in the briny." They pushed Ross out of the door, down the street to the beach and carried out their threat. Although Ross seemed to become clearer thinking for a few moments, he needed to sleep the alcohol off for several hours before he could properly function again!

Ross and the lads in the briny
Ross and the lads in the briny

Saturday 18 May 2024

1063 - TUTOR

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"TOMMY, MAKE YOUR WAY TO TOM NOOK'S OFFICE PLEASE!", The loud speakeR bellowed. Tommy stopped his knitting and looked alarmed. Then he looked at his brother who looked up from his book he was reading. He made his way to Tom Nook's office and knocked on the door. "Come in!" came Tom Nook's deep voice. "Ah, Tommy. Now you might be wondering why I sent for you. A new tutor is coming to the island to teach the little Nook children. His name is Jake Sonic McCandron. I'd like you to teach him how to do the knitting classes, cooking classes, PE classes and the art classes since Mr McCandron doesn't know how to do them. Thanks!" Tom Nook said. Tommy nodded then left.

Tom Nook and his kids in his office with a guest
Tom Nook and his kids in his office with a guest

This is my version:

Hugo (who is 9 years old) was poorly and had To stay home foR a few months whilst he healed. He had to keep up with his schooling by learning at home. He was reading a book about birds and was astonished to read about the North American bird called the ruffed grouse which has the ability to make a sonic boom with its wings, particularly during the mating season. Later in the afternoon, his tutor arrived to check on his progress. Hugo couldn't wait to tell him about the bird that makes a sonic boom!

A Ruffed Grouse
A Ruffed Grouse

Friday 17 May 2024

1062 - STALL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

BLAThers was reading a piece of music his friend had sent him. Blather's friend was a nightingale called Benjamin. "Hmm. Not the best piece of music that Ben's sent", Blathers mumbled. Then he played it on the piano. "Tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, tum, ti, tum, tum, ti <pause> ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, tum, ti, tum, tumity, tum, too, ti, to, ta, tee, ta, tuminy, too, too, too, too, tum, tum, too". Then he opened a draw and took out a piece of paper and pencil.

Dear Ben, much of the music was tonal and featured attractive - though not always very distinctive - melodic material. Not the best piece of music you have sent, though, no offence - don't feel hurt. It's still good! I heard this jolly song on the radio called 'The sunflower's stalk'. You should listen to it since I think it's super brill! I've sent you a song that I wrote too. It's called 'The dancing joy'. I think you'll love it since you love dancing! Write back!

All the best, your pal, Blathers

After that, Blathers slid the letter into an envelope and stamped it. Then he wrote the address, slipped on his coat, mittens and shoes and walked to the post office. After he'd posted the letter, he went over to Mabel's little stall. Mabel ran a small stall selling all sort of freshly baked goods and homemade jams. "Hallo Blathers! What you after today? We've got some fresh from the oven croissants and my Gran's recipe for blackberry jam!", Mabel said leaning on her tabletop. "Well, actually that would be nice, thank you! And I'll take one of those brownies and a blueberry muffin please", Blathers answered. Then, after that, he passed Sahara's clothes and rugs shop, and bumped into L-J-A, Dog-Lover, Katt and Antonio having a picnic. "Hallo, you lot! Oh, Antonio, you said you wanted to borrow my atlas for your cross-country walk on Saturday. Well, I'll give it to you now so I don't forget!" said Blathers reaching into his pocket and taking out something shiny. "Oh! Thanks Blathers! A walk is just what I need to make my muscles even stronger!", Antonio said taking the Atlas and doing a hero pose with a determined look on his face causing the others to giggle.

Blathers sending his letter
Blathers sending his letter

This is my version:

Freda LATimer (see 1019 PLAIT ) decided to write some tonal pieces with an international theme to provide a contrast to the traditional pieces she played on her Rebec. She opened her atlas and pondered which part of the world to research to see what music was played of the same vintage as the usual pieces. It was time-consuming tricky research, but eventually she was finding what she wanted. She discovered some details about the Apache Fiddle and the music that they made with it. (The Apache Fiddle is made from the stalk of a plant.) Eventually she was pleased with her research and the music she'd written. She even went to the trouble of tracking down an Apache fiddle she could buy (even though it cost a fair whack and had to be shipped from the USA). At the next show dedicated to mediaeval music, tonal music and old instruments, she set up a stall to promote her music and to play her Apache Fiddle. There was quite a crowd around her stall and before long she'd formed a band of people that would like to join her in playing her music.

Apache Fiddle
Apache Fiddle

Thursday 16 May 2024

1061 - PINCH

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Timmy, Tommy, come over here a sec will you?", Tom Nook called. "Of course! What are you doing?", Timmy replied as he and his brother scuttled over to where Tom Nook sat at his desk with a piece of paper and a pencil. "Well, you see boys, I'm writing to an old friend and she lives in South Africa. Her name is Hoppy and she has just written to me to say what she is about to do. She's always been a daredevil you know, take a look at the letter", Tom Nook explained.

"Dear Tom Nook, Hallo old pal, it's been a while since we've spoken. A really exciting thing happened to me. I've been invited to the daredevil contest! I have to do a double backflip into the swimming pool, then swim real fast over to the bar where I would haul myself up and do some really cool tricks. I know right! All with a noisy crowd watching me too! How have you been on your pleasant little island? Write back, all the best, Hoppy."

"The problem is", said Tom Nook after they had finished reading it, "I'm struggling with what to write." Then Tommy and Tom Nook stared at Timmy. He was frozen and his eyes wouldn't blink. "Timmy? Hello, wakey wakey pal!, Tommy said waving his hand in front of his brothers face. Tommy had to pinch him just to make sure. Then Timmy started blinking again. "Sorry! The shock of the double backflip and stuff makes me stop dead in my tracks!" Timmy reassures them.

"Well, I think you should start with saying 'hello' and 'how are you doing?' and then say congratulations on the achievement, then talk about how you are doing. Then say 'goodbye' or add anything else you wanted to say. It will come to you, trust me!" Tommy finished.

Hoppy starting her double back flip
Hoppy starting her double back flip

This is my version:

Jack and Charlie shared a room at Uni. Jack was quiet and studious, whereas Charlie was always noisy, whether it was speaking on the phone, loading the dishwasher, playing his guitar or rushing to get to his next lecture on time. Jack searched on the web to see if he could do something about it. He found a post somewhere that suggested that if you put a pinch of salt in the cooking, it would do the trick. Jack's reality check skills were not perfected yet, so he tried it. Nothing changed!

Charlie and Jack
Charlie and Jack

Wednesday 15 May 2024

1060 - AMASS

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

It wAs Tom Nook's birthday today and Timmy and Tommy were preparing a party for him. Timmy had gone to the shops and bought cake ingredients for the cake Tommy was making. He had also popped down to the local allotment to amass loads of strawberries and raspberries and blueberries for Tommy to decorate the cake with. Blathers had found a sheet of paper with 'How to sing and play happy birthday' in his father's old folder and had told Timmy and Tommy that we could all sing it for Tom Nook and that he, Blathers, would play the tune on his violin since nobody actually knew how to sing it. It was very noisy as all the Palm Camp citizens started piling into the brothers' small cottage. "Sahara!, Mabel!, have you bought all the party things?", shouted Timmy deciding that he should take charge. "Yep!", they chorused. "Dog-lover, go and help Tommy in the kitchen with the party food will you, he's got an awful lot on his hands today preparing all the food." Tim explained. "L‑J‑A!, Gulliver!, put up the party decorations and the bunting if you don't mind! Sahara, Mabel, wrap the presents please." "Here", Katt said, "I got him a plush toy in the shape of a peanut! His favourite." "Katt, start on the slush‑pups if you please. (Slushys in Palm Camp) Antonio blow up the balloons, Blathers get the party hats and blow-blows out of that yellow bag please." "Hey Timmy, we've finished decorating now what?", Gulliver called out. "Um, Gulliver, set the table, and L-J-A... "DING DONG! Tom Nook had arrived. L‑J‑A hurried over to the door and let Tom Nook in then he kept a steady steam of chatter on making sure that Tom Nook didn't see the others. "Why don't we have a nice chat in Tim's room", L‑J‑A began. "Well, actually, I need the loo so we'll have that chat in a minute OK?", Tom Nook said. L‑J‑A rushed back to the others and told them that the birthday boy was in the toilet. "Chop chop!" he whispered. "Katt! Help the girls finish wrapping the gifts, Blathers help Dog-lover finish decorating the cake and lighting the candles while Tommy flips over the pancakes", Timmy ordered. "L-J-A, sweep the floor and..." FLUSH! The sound made everyone stop dead in their tracks. "Places everyone! Tom Nook's coming!", said Timmy under his breath. Then they all waited and when Tom came in, "SUPRISE!", everyone yelled. "Happy 38th Birthday!" Dog-lover played the piano, Blathers the violin, and Mabel the flute while everyone else sang.

Tom Nook's birthday party
Tom Nook's birthday party

This is my version:

Greg, who is A carpenter, is at work in Agatha's lounge, building in a beautifully grained, curved shelf. Observing all this is a noisy, yappy small dog sitting incongruously on a plush divan. Eventually Greg is satisfied that the wooden surface is flush so he started putting on the first layer of oil. Greg is relieved to have this job today as it would have been horrible to be working outside with the wet snow falling and the slush on the ground. Just then there is the sound of the key in the front door at which the dog flips forward head over heals and rushes to the door to greet Agatha. She had been to Selfridges and wades in with loads of boxes and bags that she has been able to amass there. At her dog's greeting she quickly puts them all down and picks up the dog for a cuddle. Meanwhile, Greg is basking in the peace of the quietened lounge!

The spoiled dog
The spoiled dog

Tuesday 14 May 2024

1059 - CUMIN

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughter's version:

"Oh! Timmy, do you mind awfully by buying some cumin from the shops for me while your out!", called Tommy suddenly. "Sure Tom, what are you cooking for lunch by the way?", Timmy answered back. "Oh!, actually it's for dinner because the weather forecast said it was going to rain this afternoon so I thought it would be best to go and buy our ingredients this morning instead", Timmy replied logically. "Good point", said his brother nodding his head. So Timmy watched Tommy slip into his coat and put on his hat and scarf. Then Tommy pulled on his mittens, tied his boots on and opened the door which let in a cold breeze of air. Timmy shivered as Tommy shut the door and went off on his way to the shops. It was a blustery day that day and the leaves were flying all over the place like paper. It was Autumn and the crisp golden leaves blew carelessly in Timmy's face. He fought the noisy wind while Tommy was in the cute kitchen of their warm, cosy cottage that the two brothers shared, sizzling an egg. Timmy felt a pinch of relief when he made it to Palm camp's local food store. He bought milk, cumin, eggs, lentils and kidney beans. Then he went to Palm camp's supplies store where he bought a new screwdriver.

Outdoor grocery store. in AnimalCrossing
Outdoor grocery store. in AnimalCrossing

This is my version:

You would have thought that a chef was used to noise. But Lucian was furious: "This kitchen is too noisy this evening. It made me forget the recipe. I was meant to put in a pinch of cumin but I lost count and put in 10 pinches instead 😬."

Overdoing the cumin
Overdoing the cumin

Monday 13 May 2024

1058 - OUTER

A TERrapin and a rescued old otter were talking about the humans that cared for them. "There's something annoying about the She - she is forever quoting lengthy speeches from Shakespeare. I've decided to call her citer She", said the terrapin. "Oh, I don't like the the He's dog - it is such a biter", responded the otter. Just then the He came in and stood in front of the mirror to put his miter on. The terrapin and otter sniggered at his strange clothes and headgear. "Right, I heard that sniggering", chastised the He, "off you go into the outer garden! Yes, I know it's pouring with rain, but that's where you're going until I get back." The terrapin and otter slunk off.

The He putting on the miter
The He putting on the miter

Sunday 12 May 2024

1057 - TIDAL

Freda LATimer (who played mediaeval tonal music) (see 1019 PLAIT ) put her Rebec into her car and set off for her group's next performance, which was at a riverside venue. The concert was going well with lots of people in the audience. The first half of the performance went well, but after the break it became apparent that, since the river was tidal and the time of year was the equinox, that the back rows of the audience were going to get their feet wet! There was a lot of activity as the back few rows of chairs were moved and some of the audience decided to give up as well. This unsettled the players and their performance in the second half was noticeably inferior.

Freda's Rebec
Freda's Rebec

Saturday 11 May 2024

1056 - MEDIA

KierAn had bEen out in the sun for too long drinking cheap cider and now had a rotten headache. He drank lots of water and dosed himself up with paracetamols (which are a type of amide). After his sleep Kieran came to, feeling miserable, and wanting to switch on the TV and slouch. That is, until he looked at the time and realised his latest film premiere was due in an hour. Dressing hurriedly, he leapt into his Porsche and headed to the venue. He had to weave in and out of the traffic to make much progress. Arriving with a couple of minutes to spare, a make-up artist had to work hard to turn the hassled, droopy-faced Kieran into the suave film maker ready to face the media.

Kieran at the Premiere
Kieran at the Premiere

Friday 10 May 2024

1055 - JERKY

Al was vEry busy woRking on his latest musical piece, but the lack of sleep had caught up with him. When his colleague, Si, entered the studio, all he could hear was one snore after another. Si eventually found Al coiled up inside the bass drum, fast asleep. Having woken Al, Si asked how the remix was getting on. "I think I was just too tired and I suspect I've made a complete wreck of it", replied Al. "Never mind", said Si, "Let's go and have a meal of jerky beef and chips (your favourite) and get some sleep. Come back tomorrow at noon and I'm sure you'll be much inspired by then.

Al should have been busy at this instead of being asleep
Al should have been busy at this instead of being asleep

Thursday 9 May 2024

1054 - PIOUS

Cedric's brother Walter (see 1039-ROVER ) worked at the same factory as Cedric used to. He was a machine tool operator and life for him was permanently noisy. Walter had to have a break and decided to go and visit his pious brother at the monastery. They had a lovely time together and Walter did so appreciate the calm and peacefulness.

Walter at his machine
Walter at his machine

Wednesday 8 May 2024

1053 - MUSTY

IT was very noisy outside as the gusty wind made it very dusty and blew over various items in the yard. Oliver had been tasked with getting the medical light-weight busty dummy into the van, along with other smaller items and the weather outside in the yard made the dummy particularly difficult to load. He enlisted the help of someone else and together they managed at last to load up the musty-smelling van.

The unwieldy dummy
The unwieldy dummy

Tuesday 7 May 2024

1052 - SHAVE

It wAs Granny' birthday and loads of family wEre there. Not unexpectedly the inevitable lecture from Granny was forthcoming.

"This family needs to cease from letting itself go. That will never do - you need to feel good about who you are. Several of you are the wrong shape because you eat so much junk food, particularly donuts. Others of you need to shake yourself out of your complacency and find something you can be useful at in the community. So pull yourselves together and change your ways. Right that's enough for me - I am going to sit in the shade and someone can bring me a healthy cold drink and my favourite magazine to read. Oh, and Alex, you need to shave your beard - it doesn't impress anyone like it is."

Does eating too many donuts make you the wrong shape?
Does eating too many donuts make you the wrong shape?

Monday 6 May 2024

1051 - DECAL

It's not aLwAys youngstErs that like to build plastic model aircraft kits. Sometimes older people, mostly men, like to as well. Ernie is busy on his next aircraft kit, a Martin B-26 Marauder. He has a 1:48 scale model which has lots of detail and keeps him occupied for many hours. The last stage of the building process is of course to apply decals from the decal sheets to the finished plane. Ernie has a very steady hand and his positioning of the decals is spot on. Ernie is very proud of his models.

Martin B-26 Marauder of 1940s vintage
Martin B-26 Marauder of 1940s vintage

Sunday 5 May 2024

1050 - VALUE

LAncElot is a vet specialising in farm work. As he waits for a call, he is telling his new apprentice a fable about his young days and his first car. "One day as I was on an errand to a farm, the car's inlet valve on the no 1 cylinder jammed and was preventing the engine running. I was a good car mechanic", he boasted to the apprentice "and was able to use some salve from my vet's bag to free up the valve and get the engine running again. As a precaution I had to halve my speed for the rest of the journey, but I got there in the end. At the farm there was a cow having difficulty trying to calve. The farmer was grumpy about me being so late, but nonetheless she sat there with pea pods to shuck and let me have some now and again during the operation on the cow. Oh, they were delicious! Once the operation was safely over, the farmers were delighted and told me how much they value that cow and calf." The apprentice was pretty impressed. That is until one of the other vets asked him if Lancelot had told him the fable about fixing the car on his way to a calving!

Using a calf puller
Using a calf puller

Saturday 4 May 2024

1049 - EBONY

Harry's Mum, ZEna, is a health fanatic. Harry only ever has organic vegan food and certainly no sugary sweets. Harry goes to preschool five days a week. When Zena comes to take Harry home she usually leaves quickly; she reckons it's too noisy there and she doesn't want Harry exposed to it any longer than needs be. On the way home, Harry is allowed a weeny bit of (organic of course) chocolate which keeps him happy after his tiring day. It's rather strange, considering how uncommunicative she is at the preschool, that her job is as an envoy in the diplomatic service. As she prepares their meal, Zena likes to listen to 1980's music. Harry is very happy to listen to it as it makes him dance. Today she is listening to Paul McCartney's song "Ebony and Ivory".

Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder: Ebony and Ivory
Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder: Ebony and Ivory

Friday 3 May 2024

1048 - SLICE

It was a LovEly Saturday for Lewis's birthday party. It was pretty noisy when Lewis's friends arrived but they were soon coaxed outside into the garden where there was a long slide down the sloping lawn liberally covered in slime which was ideal. There was much sliding and running and the nursing of the odd bruise. As food time approached, the kids were coaxed back inside to change out of their swimwear and head back to the dining room for the cake part of the evening. There was a slice for everyone including Mum and Dad. When the guests got home it wasn't long before they were fast asleep!

The slime slide
The slime slide

Thursday 2 May 2024

1047 - DIARY

HAmish was Reliving his day with pen poised. He'd first gone to a café for breakfast where there was quite a turmoil when the café owner's pet cobra escaped; people had been running everywhere until the snake was coerced back into its cage. He had then done a spot of fishing and managed to catch a couple of roach which had made for a nice lunch. He had then gone into the office just as there was a big crash as the notice board fell off the wall, again causing a brief disruption. When he got home he got his diary out and penned his account of the day.

Snake attack: internet cafe patrons surprised by snake
Snake attack: internet cafe patrons surprised by snake

Wednesday 1 May 2024

1046 - PROWL

The motheR Lion said to the excited, playful cub - "You're far too noisy. If you are going to grow up to be a real lion you're going to have to quieten down, otherwise you'll never learn to prowl effectively."

Mother lioness on the prowl
Mother lioness on the prowl

Introduction

482 - FLOOR

“LO and behold, there's  flour  on the  floor .” exclaimed Denise. “I wonder if Ethan has been making a cake?” she thought.