924 - THREE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Three days ago, I was in thE woods and I was making a loT of noise. I accidentally distuRbed a bear's supper. The bear was eating a supper of ants. I was running and screaming and tried to get away. The bear's food began to strew and run underground. She saw me and started chasing me. I ran with all my might till I got to my house, then I locked the door. I need advice before I treed that bear at our door. Maybe I can ask my sister Lola, since she loves wildlife. Maybe she could give me some tips? Or… I could get our dog Donner to scare it away.

Two treed cubs

This is my version:

"I am going To solvE this pRoblem", he said with grim determination. "This is the nineteenth time I've tried to find this missing report amongst all these others, but I've had no success. Right, let's try something different - I'll strew them all over the floor and see if it comes out on top." Unsurprisingly that didn't do it and Franklin had to admit defeat. Franklin went out for a walk trying to ease his frustration. Not looking where he was going particularly, he wandered into a farmyard whereupon there was fierce barking and a particularly vicious looking dog was racing towards him. He legged it, reaching the edge of the treed area whereupon he scrambled up the nearest tree. "That's torn it", muttered Franklin, "I'm treed and I've ripped my trousers". Eventually a farmhand, Sam, came to his rescue calling out "Come, Softie, heel", he said, putting a lead on Softie. "He doesn't really live up to his name, does he", commented Sam to Franklin. "You make number three I've had to rescue this week", he quipped, "let me help you down". Franklin certainly got a break from his frantic searching! On returning to base he went back into the room only to spot the errant document sitting open on the desk!

Franklin's encounter with the dog

923 - CHILD

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Winston was reading his comic book whiLe eating his rice krispies and drinking his orange juice. After he’d finished, he decided to explain the story to his dad. “First Superman sent the bad guy to jail for stealing some bling and then he rescued the child and then…” RING! “Oh carry on, it’s just the microwave”, said mum, not wanting to spoil the story.

Winston engrossed in his Superman Comic

This is my version:

CarLa is a very good mother, although she has the tendency to spoil her daughter, Mia, who is currently at primary school. Carla is enjoying an opportunity to browse the shops. On an impulse for her darling daughter she buys a bling party outfit, even though there's no need for one at the present. When she brings Mia home from school, she presents the new costume to her young child as she's tucking in to her hot chocolate and marshmallow refreshment. Mia is very excited and narrowly misses knocking over her drink to go and try on the new outfit. Her dad comes out of his at-home office and sighs as he sees yet another thing for Mia; it's just as well he has a well paid job!

Mia wearing her bling party dress

922 - LEARN

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Coco wAs whispEring to Sky and Suzi about how Learning was so boRing. They were in Year 7 and Mrs Corli was teaching them to learn algebra. Callie joined in by saying it was like watching your grandad explain how to fix the pipes! They all burst out laughing but got a detention each.

Callie being repreminded

This is my version:

ALfonso enjoyed the convenience of living in his pArEnt's home and being cateRed for, even though he'd reached the age of 32. His parents did not have the same view! One evening his father, George, unplugged the TV mid-programme and sat in front of Alfonso. "Right", said George, "it's time for you to stop living here. You need to find your own place. You'll be welcome here for the occasional meal, but you'll need to change your address and fend for yourself." The gobsmacked Alfonso took a while whilst the shock sank in, his head swirling. "So that will mean I'll have to learn to cook, do the laundry, clean the house and… ", Alfonso trailed off mid sentence." "YES", chorused his father and mother! Alfonso didn't sleep much that night!

Alfonso before being asked to leave home

921 - DAISY

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Once in a while, Danielle would go and visit her dad and brother and sister. Her parents were divorced so she would live in between but mainly with her mum. She had a brother and a sister who were both older than her. Their names were Susan and Cobi. Danielle’s mum lives on a quiet street with friendly neighbours. Her dad lived near a meadow filled with buttercups, daisies and dandelions. Occasionally, in the summer, Danielle would pick a DAISY for her dad. She wasn’t very NOISY. She was very helpful and she was very good at cooking.

Danielle in the field of wild flowers

This is my version:

At first it seemed like the place was anarchic. Everyone seemed to be talking at once and, consequently, the place was very ~noisy. But there was one diminutive woman standing to one side just watching. She raised her hand and suddenly the place became quiet. "Now what was that like for you? What about you, *Daisy?", she asked. "Well, it certainly wasn't for thinking deeply about anything", Daisy replied. "Now let's move on to another scenario...", said the group coach.

Everyone talking

920 - PHONE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Simpton was in his 1 bEdroom home cutting geese with a shiny knife. Back then, a phone hadn’t been invented. Simpton lived with his best friend, Spencer who was a very religious person. Spencer had a strict schedule, saying the Lord’s Prayer every single day, even on his birthday! He was just in the middle of “…for thine is the kingdom…”, when a piece of goose went flying through the air and hit him in the face!

Carving one of the geese

This is my version:

Kathy and Ern had decided a few years ago to have a flock of geese, though why they did, neither could remember. Christmas was approaching and someone had to kill one of the geese (Molly by name). Both Kathy and Ern dithered and tried to persuade the other one to do it. Molly was in a cage and the knife was on the table. "This task is thine", said Kathy, "it's the man's job". Reluctantly Ern approached the cage, but at that moment the phone rang and, quick as a flash, Ern dashed to answer it. Although it was only a cold sales call, Ern made out it was important and needed him to go to the rescue. He jumped in the car and sped away. Poor Kathy had to tackle the murderous deed and set to to prepare the dinner. Strangely Ern appeared just as the meal was cooked! They drank a toast to Molly during the meal, but Ern dreaded trying to explain to Kathy where he had been.

Trying to catch Molly

919 - EVOKE

DEmelza was fed up with having to look after the geese every day. So she went to see Aunt Agatha and asked her to endue her with magic capabilities to have the geese fed only by thinking about it. Now she could exude confidence when visitors called because she no longer had to dress for farmyard duties. The magic capabilities also allowed her to bring future things into her present. She particularly enjoyed her new ebike that enabled her to whizz around the Cornish countryside with ease. Whenever her family visited, it would evoke horrible memories of being mistreated. But fortunately this didn't happen very often.

Aunt Agatha

918 - GRACE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One wet rAiny morning, Kim, Lisa and JakE weRe saying grace for their butter and jam toast. 5 minutes ago, dad had said we were to visit Aunt Jenny’s grave in our spare time. The children were already very weary but they heard they could have a chocolate if they did it. Jake even said he’d rather graze with a zebra than go, but he agreed to 5 chocolates. Dad said he has 10 choc chips and they had to share! He looked at his watch and said you have to reach for them when we come back and put them on a high shelf.

On the hunt

This is my version:

The wise old womAn gavE Richard some advice. "You have to row across this lake to the scary island", she said. "When you reach the far shore, I expect you'll be weary, so sit down and spare yourself for the rest of the journey." As Richard sat there, he heard voices from people walking through the wood. "I reckon Richard will be here some day soon to claim his share of the treasure. That would have grave consequences for him if he did", growled one of the men. Richard quietly made his way to a narrow cave where he could hide, cutting his hand on the sharp rocks as he did so. Once he was in the cave he took a look. "Oh, it's only a graze", he mumbled. That night he gingerly came out of his cave and wandered what to do next. In the moonlight he caught sight of a graceful lady approaching him. "Hello Richard", she said soothingly, "My name is Grace. I have your share of the treasure carefully hidden. In fact it's at the back of the cave! But you have to take me with you - I have to get off this hostile island". "Willingly", exclaimed Richard. Six months later they were wed!"

Richard meets Grace

917 - SLOPE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

"Mother!" yelLEd Darcey (the middle child). "Yes darling?" called back her mother. "I'm hungry!" she shouted. "OK then, we can watch a cooking video."  "What? you mean the whole thing?", she said raising an eyebrow. "Oh wait, let me join you as well" cried Shakira (the eldest) rushing in. "I've just finished watching the cat clone!". "Right then, lets start while I feed Cayla" said mum softly. "Look!" read out Shakira part way through, "It says you need a clove of garlic". "So it does", replied their mother, "I've some in the cupboard". After the video ended, Shakira went back to watch the Cat Clone and Darcey followed. "Look!, they fell down the slope!" cried out Darcey. "Hush! I'm trying to listen!" hissed Shakira.

A pair of closed cats

This is my version:

CLivE wanted the whole world to know about his new perfume he'd created as he thought it was sensational. His test sample was a strange mixture of 5ml of clove oil and the oil extracted from a garlic clove together with several secret ingredients. As he was going in to the Patent Office he passed Pete (see 914 - SMALL) who'd been registering his latest invention. "I want to make sure that no big corporations can clone this - how do I go about it", he asked the patent officer. "That's not easy, or it's impossible to do.", replied the officer. "It would probably cost mega-millions to flood the market with your product and gain a large brand-loyal base of users to keep out the competition. Then when they consider trying to clone it, the cost for them would be prohibitive." Clive's shoulders began to slope downwards as the impossibility of him achieving his aim sank in.

Clive making his perfume

916 - TOUCH

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

“Molly?” “Yes!” “Chloe?” “Yes!” “James?” “Yes!” And, last buT not least, “Theo?” “Yes, I’m here” numbed Theo. “Right then, everyone got their coats, packed lunch and bags?” called Miss Fern. “Yes miss Fern” chorused the children. “Ok then, everyone line up now and we’ll climb on the coach. “There are 30 children Mrs Miley, can you remember that?” shouted Miss Fern from the front. “Got it!” replied Mrs Miley from the back. “Everyone stay in your pairs and if it’s the 100th time I have to tell you, to not wonder off!” reminded Miss Fern. Once everyone was in place, and seated in their pairs, the driver called out “we’re ‘eading south”. Half an hour later, they got off and entered a building with the words “Wax Museum”. First they came across a man with his mouth wide open holding a metal ring. “Look!” cried Beth, “There’s a sign that says 'Do Not touch'” “and it has a fact on it too!” spoke up Bruce. “It says, Men used to play this game called quoit.” “You throw a ring, rope or metal around a peg” read out Frankie. They moved along to a large woman with a fierce look and a frightened girl by her side.

Lining up for the bus

This is my version:

The pub team was getting set up for a practice game before the competition at the weekend. A stranger called William showed up and was trying to find out what was going on. "What's this steel ring?", he asked. "Ee lad, that be a quoit", replied Jake, "ye have to throw it over the pin". "Can I have a go?", asked William. "Nay", answered Jake, "this is a Northerners' game - you're from the south". "Ee, shut your big mouth Jake - he only wants to see what it's like", interjected Frank and offered William his quoit. William was shocked at the weight and felt certain he would make a hash of it. He gave it a heave and to everyone's amazement its edge landed on top of a pin. "That was a great throw", admitted Jake, "that was an excellent touch" and the rest of the team gave a round of applause. After the practice William bought the team the first two rounds.

Quoits game

915 - BUILT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

“Oh! Andrew! Off your phone and get into the Christmas spirit!”, Mum shouted as she nestLed The baubles onto the tree. “Mum!”, called Andrew back, “I am in the Christmas spirit see! I’m listening to ‘Deck the halls’ I can turn it up if you like?”. “Oh it’s fine” yelled mum quickly and alertly. But Andrew turned it up anyway and soon the house was full of jolly music. 'Deck the halls with boughs of holly…' “Carlos” bellowed dad suspiciously, “why are there ready salted crisps under your bed?” Carlos came out of the bathroom blushing. “I didn’t do it” he stammered. “I think he did, I can feel his guilt!”, Zoey whispered to me. “I built a tower!”, gurgled baby James in his babyish voice.

Baubles for Xmas Tree

This is my version:

GeraLdine wanTed to decorate her house properly for Xmas, but there was one thing missing. That night she crept into her neighbour's garden and cut off a superb piece of holly and was able to complete her decorations with it. But the next morning she didn't feel elated, but uncomfortable. There was no satisfaction with the decorations. Eventually she realised it was guilt weighing heavily on her. So she baked a splendid cake and took it round to her neighbour. She was invited in and, during conversation, she told the neighbour what she had done. The neighbour was very good about it and said how kind she was to make the cake. The conversation carried on for a good long while in good spirits. When Geraldine got home, she felt content that she had built again the relationship with her neighbour.

Someone else stealing the holly!

914 - SMALL

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Robert Collins was in his secret LAb. He was creating a new potion and was thinking aloud. The ingredients had been written on a blackboard with some chalk. “Now time for my lunch!” said Robert, gleefully rubbing his hands together. “Oh bother! I’ve a stain down my white top!” he mumbled. “Must be from my breakfast orange juice”. After his lunch, which was a ham baguette and an apple, Robert got back to his potions. Half an hour later, Robert had finished all the hard work and had poured it into a small phial. Now all he had to do is wait. As he waited, he went back to his other hobby to inlay some jewels onto his potion box. Now, time for the potion test. He opened the door to the next room where he had a dragon in chains. “Alakazam”, shouted Robert, as he threw the potion at the dragon. “The dragon has been slain”, he shouted with joy.

Dragon in Chains

This is my version:

Pete had had a briLliAnt idea for a new consumer product and spent hours on developing a test sample. As he was heading to the Patent Office to protect his idea, he read in today's newspaper that Marks & Spencer had just released the exact same thing onto the market. "What's the point of going any further - my concept is dead, slain by the giant" he said aloud, not caring what others on the bus thought. He got off the bus and caught the next bus heading back home. With nothing to crack on with on his new invention, he went to his man-shed and proceeded to etch some designs into his jewellery box by pouring a strong chemical from a phial so that the box would be ready for applying a decorative inlay later. "I'll just have to chalk up today's disappointment to experience", he thought. As he awoke the next morning, a small germ of an idea came to him for his next invention; a smile crept over his face.

Pete's failed invention

913 - TABLE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

He was LATE for table-tennis.⏰

Table tennis game

This is my version:
(Apologies to those whose eyes glaze over with this yarn!)

Amanda was struggLing to produce A good looking MSWord documenT for prEsenting her findings. "Leave it to me", said Eric, "I can sort it out in no time". Before Amanda could protest he'd grabbed the keyboard and mouse and with a few clicks her work looked nicely lined up. "Yes, that's what I want", said Amanda, "but I have no idea how you did that. Can you back-track and explain what I should do?", she exclaimed. Eric sighed and undid all that he did before taking her through the steps slowly. "First, you select all the text you want lined up and then go to the Insert ribbon and click on 'Table'. In the dialogue box that pops up, click on 'Convert Text To Table…'. Another dialogue box pops up where you can check the options to make sure you will get what you want, then Click OK.", explained Eric. "Thank you", said Amanda.

Converting text to table

912 - FUNNY

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

"Yummy!", gurgled Goldie. We were on holiday in Hawaii and were staying in a posh hotel. Me, Grace, Gabriel, Goldie and mum. Right now, we are at the buffet tucking into pizza. Goldie has tomato sauce all over her mouth. After that we go back to our room and unpack. We only arrived this morning. Goldie has done a gungy poo and Gabriel has made a new buddy already! Next we go for a swim. Me, Grace and Gabriel jump in while Goldie, who has golden hair and people always say ‘Awww!’ when she goes by, stays at the shallow end with mum. Us three play ball and chuck it to each other in the pool. At dinner time, mum has a buffy coloured egg. Grace and Gabriel bandy about it. Then we head up to see the lady at the front desk who was unexpectedly, a deeply pious woman. Then mum said to me “Gail, could you hold the show tickets?”. Finally, we go and see a funny show.

In the pool

This is my version:

"There go the pious mob", scoffed Chuck, as he saw the church-goers heading in for their service. Chuck had no regard for anything religious, but instead was always up to something frivolous. Today he was off to see his mate, Frank, but first he was going to make a gungy buffy-coloured mixture - he wasn't used to this sort of thing, so he wasn't sure how well it would be received. When Chuck got to the home of his buddy Frank said it was quite yummy and kept having more. They went for a run and then sank into Frank's armchairs to bandy their thoughts on the latest gimmicks; Chuck's gimmick was derided by Frank and vice-versa. They thought this was really funny until Frank's wife returned from church and scolded him severely for the coarse humour and the mess in the place. It was time for Chuck to head home!

Chuck making his gungy mixture

911 - BACON

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One Afternoon, daisy was eating her happy meal and looked at the activities on the box. There were three facts, such as kappa is the 10th letter of the Greek alphabet, manna is good food provided by God to the Israelites in the wilderness and a capon is a castrated male chicken. “Well that will be handy for school!” Daisy thought to herself. After lunch, Daisy, Danny and dad went to the cinema to watch ‘The canon in the wagon’. Danny went manic after that! Dad has booked us a private tour around the cushion factory. We found out that kapok is used to stuff the inside of cushions. Then we drive home while listening to a sappy old love song that dad likes. Grandma was sitting in an armchair and mum was changing baby Carla’s nappy. Dad and mum called gran a lovely old lady. Me and Danny secretly called her saggy! For dinner we had savoy and bacon.

The Canon and the Wagon

This is my version:

NikolAs was a fisherman who's boat was the 'Kappa', being the tenth in the fleet. He was fishing in the Eastern Mediterranean and was surprised by the strange white flakes falling from the sky. "What is it", he pondered, "it looks like coriander seed". He tentatively put one on his tongue - it tasted of wafers and honey. Seeing as his first thought was 'What is it', he called it manna; little did he know that that was just what the tribe of Israel had called it at the very same time. Because it was so lovely, there was a manic chase all over his boat gathering as much as he could for a tasty snack which quite filled him up. Soon after the wind dropped and his sail became all saggy. Fortunately he wasn't too far from shore, so he rowed and moored up. He got out to have a nap, but noticed this unusual tree leaking liquid. The sappy juice was slightly sweet, so that was two treats today! He didn't need to eat boring savoy that day! As he lay there a woman came along with her baby strapped to her. She stopped and Nikolas thought how handy she was changing the baby's nappy. He was annoyed that there was only one daisy growing there, so he couldn't present her with a bunch of flowers, and she set off again. The manna was so filling that he didn't need to have a piece of cooked capon that evening back in the boat - it would keep for another day. He lay down on his kapok-filled pillow and slept really well. Next day he saw a wagon going by loaded with goods for sale but for him the sea beckoned. He checked his seafarers canon of how to make the return journey given the current conditions and cast off from the shore to sail home. He was looking forward to his bacon and rice when he got home.

Nikolas' Becalmed Fishing Vessel

910 - GLOBE

EmiLy sEt to to bake a savoury vegetable cake. She put some soya milk and olive oil into a bowl after which she carefully added the eggs taking care not to get any shell into the mixture. Next she put in the self-raising flour and a clove or two of garlic (chopped finely). After that various other chopped vegetables (which included globe artichokes) went in followed by seasonings. She sprinkled some pine nuts on top and popped it in the oven. Once baked it was difficult to resist eating it all at once!

Savoury Vegetable Cake

909 - TOPIC

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

Ring ring! Break times over kids! Kids are rushing into their seats. Dennis hasn’t finished his apple! “The topic is motors” says Mr Collins. Then he tells us all these boring facts. “Argh! I feel like I’m going to vomit!” says Daniel. The class start to laugh out loud and the teacher has to tell them to stop being noisy.

Mr Collins teaching about motors

This is my version:

The dinner that night smelled lovely and tasted delicious. The mariners enjoyed every last mouthful. But before long the eating tables became extra noisy as one by one a mariner would vomit up his meal. Unbeknown to the cook, something mildly poisonous had found its way into the cooking pot. The mariners recovered within a day, but it was an unpleasant time for them. The poor cook felt that all eyes were glowering at him even though it wasn't his mistake. The whole episode became the topic of many a conversation during the next couple of weeks.

Mariners enjoying their meal

908 - WOULD

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

On Christmas Eve, everyone in house number one was rushing around. It was very noisy. First, Lyla could not find her bauble earrings, then Max and Connor were fighting over the Christmas football, next, Molly kept complaining to Callie that her tinsel dress was not good enough, Ed is saying that the star does not match the rest of the tree and Kayla (mum) can’t find her purse and Christmas hairband! (I think Lydia stole it). I would suggest that Aunt Caroline and Uncle Dan go to Venezuela because they keep skating around dressed as Santas (along with Ben and Katy their kids). Dad was tipping the mixture into a jelly mould and then put it in the fridge while mumbling to himself. Grandpa George is telling our dog Totty, about the movie The Mogul. Finally, we’re all in bed, but my cat Bruno is sleeping on my feet and I wouldn’t dare wake him up. So, I can’t move a muscle and I’m lying wide awake on Christmas Eve! (Not to mention it’s 3:00am!)

Chaotic Family

This is my version:

Richard went to work at the factory. The shop floor was aLways a noisy place especially the machine that formed plastic objects. Richard had the job of keeping an eye on it and of changing the mould every so often when a new component needed to be produced. One day the workers were surprised to see the factory owner being shown around. He was a mogul who owned several industries. Richard remarked to a college "Although he could visit, seeing as he was the owner, why would he visit this insignificant factory?" Just about everyone else thought the same. They never got to find out the answer to that question.

Richard at his Moulding Machine

907 - SPENT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One day, on ThE tenth of December, a great hustle was going on. There was an event tomorrow and that was all everyone could talk about. Unexpectedly, Danny (my little brother) had a problem with his heart. He was so poorly that he had to go to hospital. They did an operation and put a stent in for his heart. The doctors say they need to keep him in for 2 more days! That means Danny has to miss the festival! He was very disappointed. On the next day, I spent so much money! First on hotdogs, then I spend it on the bouncy castle, then I spent it on games stall. I won a chick and a football (for Danny because I felt bad for him).

Festival's bouncy castles

This is my version:

ThE athlete was showing his age. Others were starting to come ahead of him in competitions. He was diagnosed with kidney problems and the consultant advised him that before long he would need to have a stent inserted into each artery supplying blood to them. But he had already entered into another competition. Come the day, he came in tenth in the event and soon after agreed to have the operation. Having spent his younger years in professional athletics, he wandered what he would devote himself to next.

Winning his competitions when he was younger

906 - THESE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One day, when iT was snowing in snowballs, a family of cats livEd in a poor alley full of dustbins which had lots of leftovers and rubbish which helped them to survive. Among these cats were 3 adults, 2 teenagers ( in cat terms ), 4 kittens and an old granny cat. Their leader was a wise grownup called Jack. A few days after that, the rubbish bins started to disappear which was bad news for the cats because they needed the bins to survive. Jack was full of spite. One afternoon, he spotted a man taking away their last trashbin. Jack got mad and charged! That man was never seen again.

Jack and his family

This is my version:

THe latest rocket launch had failed again and the remnants were now deep in the sea. But, in spite of this, the information gathered during the brief flight was very useful. "Let's not be disheartened by these failures", said the leader to the team, "we are almost there. Let's press on towards the next launch."

Rocket launch failure

905 - HOUSE

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

OnE fine, sunny morning, when The birds were chirping, there was a scene of beautiful flowers all different kinds such as buttercups, daisies, dandelions, roses, tulips and many more that I can’t name. In the middle of this display of sweet smelling flowers, was a house. The house had red bricks and a straw roof with smoke coming out of a chimney.

House with pretty flowers

This is my version:

ThE audience was seated in the theatre. As the screen rose and the lights went up, the audience saw a scene all ready for the whodunnit they'd come to see, which was set in a grand house. At that point the fire alarm sounded and everyone had to evacuate the theatre, so no one saw the play.

Whodunnit stage scene

904 - CHAIN

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

ChApter one

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was very popular in his school. One morning, he called his chaps to meet by his locker. Billy, who was his best mate, came first clutching a dusty box. Once everyone was gathered he opened the box. Inside the box were a chain of beads. Disaster! The beads fell apart and were rolling all over the floor. The string holding it together whanged through the corridor and down the steps. "Quickly!" he said "we need amass the beads before the headteacher sees!". The headteacher was playing the piano in his office when he heard a whang and went out to see what had happened. The boys were in trouble.

One of the boys in trouble

This is my version:

At this time of the year, the chaps would amass in the social hall for the annual competition to see how strange a noise each could make by causing a strangely decorated stick with a piece of leather attached to the end to whang through the air. One of the chaps would play the piano at full volume and there would be lots of loud banter going on. At the end, the winner, holding aloft the trophy, would lead a chain of the rest of them in a victory dance. The others would be chanting the name of the winner during the dance. The local residents tried to be out somewhere on this day of the year!

The Whanging Society Annual Do

903 - SHIFT

This is my 9-year-old Granddaughters' version:

One day, when The sun was scorching hot, a pious monk was sitting on a bench in his woolly sweater. This was a strange thing to do considering that it was boiling hot. A woman got curious so she went up to see what the matter was. The monk said that the problem was that he had made himself a new sweater and tried it on but it appeared the needle was still attached and had threaded itself through to his religious clothes and now it was stuck to him on this baking hot day. "A stimy indeed, agreed the woman", agreed the woman, so she had a go at trying to pull it off. After a lot of shoving and shifting she had one more shift and the sweater popped off. Then the monk had a celebration dance. He was so happy that he  asked the woman out for a game of whist.

Dancing monk

This is my version:

The thing about Edward is that, despite his outward pious appearance, he could react in a threatening manner if provoked. For example, when playing cards, if his opponent made a move that would stimy him, he was known to explode with anger and knock over the table and storm off. Even in the mild-mannered game of whist the other players would try to shift the focus of the game from the importance of winning to the enjoyment of the game in order to avoid being on the receiving end of Edward's flare-ups.

Whist game with the fuming Edward!

902 - SHARP

In many A River, lake and even in ponds there are likely to be roach. You might not see them of course as they will tend to scram when they see you. They will also swim away if they see a fresh water shark - they don't want to encounter their sharp teeth!

Glyphis freshwater shark

My granddaughter (aged 9) was keen to have a go at writing a story, so today there's a bonus story:

One dAy in a River a roach was swimming slowly with its 24 other cousins. They didn't know it, but they had reached the end of the fresh river water so they kept swimming. After 20 mins in the sea a shark spotted them. One of the cousins saw something shiny and sharp reflecting in the sunshine. After a closer look he realised it was a shark and told everybody to scram. And now there are 21 cousins altogether.

Shoal of roach

901 - SLEEP

There was one LEcturer at the university who hadn't a clue about making his talks engaging. The caretaker on duty often popped into the old projection room to watch the talk and count the number of students going to sleep during the 30 minutes. "I counted 10 yesterday", said one caretaker to another.

Effect of boring lecture

900 - WOMAN

George's Anger was well known. If he caught a child stealing some fruit from his orchard the child was in trouble. "I am going to spank you with this lamb shank bone.", he would say. A few brazen children were keen to swank about the event, but most didn't. The orchard did have lots of avian visitors which drew no reaction from George. But one day he spotted a beautiful young woman in the orchard sitting at her easel. He went to talk to her and, to tell a long story short, they fell in love and they were married within the year. From that first meeting, George's anger gradually abated and children no longer feared the orchard.

1860 Political Cartoon

899 - YOUNG

He came home from a tiring long day at work and just wanted to collapse into the armchair. But he'd forgotten it was his daughter's birthday party and the house was very noisy. He tried to go in his bedroom, but the loud music and running around made it impossible to relax. His wife found him to bring him some food but he was grumpy because of the noise. "It's only one evening and they're only young once", she said.

Noisy Party

898 - WORST

TRevor enjoyed going on coach tours. But on the latest one he hurt his wrist when hanging on because the driver was so jerky. And then, to cap it all, the tour was cut short when the coach ran out of fuel and the occupants all had to catch 3 buses to get back to the start. "This is definitely the worst tour I've been on", remarked Trevor to one of the passengers. Several passengers agreed with him.

Shoddy tour operator

897 - ADAPT

GAbriel enTered the pub desperate for a drink; he put a £5 note on the bar. "Thank you, barman", he said and then he took a gulp. It was only then that he realised that this evening most of the folk were dressed in pirate costumes and were enacting scenes from books and films and making quite a spectacle. "Avast there!" cried the one dressed as a captain, quoting from the book "The Mucker". A bit later, a discussion arose amongst them as to how they should adapt their proceedings to be more PC, but most of the party said it would spoil the whole event. Another round of drinks took their mind off this debate and they returned to their re-enactments!

Pirate Re-enactment Society Meet-up

896 - GENRE

It was HallowEen again now that OctobeR was drawing to a close. You frequently saw people dressed in eerie costumes, including some  that would come out each year for reuse. The TV was dominated by the genre of films and shows referring to witches (friendly or otherwise), broomsticks and spider webs. I avoid anything of that ilk as I would rather celebrate good than evil.

Eerie Haloween costume